Will some hot Euro monkey go and check out Pretty Generic? He's been regaling the MeFi AskMe boards for help with women, and seems young but not a bad sort.
Also, some people seem to be interpreting the book to be emphasizing coupledom above all else, as though "spinsterhood" is some awful fate. If anything, I'd say it's the opposite, because the advice all boils down to not settling for someone who isn't a really good match for you.
Again, I'll just say that there's something very liberating about looking back on that relationship where the guy didn't call enough and I felt like I was doing alot of the work of the relationship and realizing, hey, it's not that he was busy, or having a hard time with his family, or trapped someplace where there was no phone service. He just didn't like me that much. Aha! Fine. Makes it that much easier to move on.
The ideas discussed in the review are some of the more controversial ones from the book. Some of the other ones make alot of sense, and are designed to stop women from fabricating excuses for the men they're dating.
For example . . . if you go on a date or dates and he doesn't call you, stop thinking about him and imagining excuses for why he might not be calling. He just doesn't like you that much.
If he says he's going to call you over the weekend and doesn't call until much later, he's not respecting you enough to call you when he said he would. Wouldn't you rather date a guy who likes you enough to want to talk to you at regular intervals?
If he says he loves you but is not in love with you, what he really means is that he loves you only as a friend and doesn't want to hurt you. Move on. This is not the great romance of your life.
The book goes overboard in places, perhaps, but some of what the authors say does make sense, and gives women the freedom to get out of relationships that they otherwise would have wasted alot of time, effort, hope, and creative talent on in fashioning excuses for their men. It's easy to write the book off as silly or sensationalist, but I appreciated alot of it as quite good advice. (And alot of it is no brainer advice, such as don't date married guys; don't date guys who say they don't want to get married if marriage is important to you; don't date guys who have broken up with you, etc.)
Hi, Sooooz! I just came over here to post the same news. Someone is suggesting the Tuesday or Wednesday after Christmas. I'm not positive I can make it, but I hope monkeys will come in any case. Looks like there may be a bunch of new faces amongst the MeFites. Additional info at the wiki. It's a tough time of year, but it looks like some of the potential attendees are only in town for a little while.
Auf der Mar's solo album is really bad, though. The lyrics have no poetry the way Love's do. And Hole's Boys on the Radio is a lovely song, especially with jangly guitars and the 3 lines at the end that make you reevaluate the whole thing.
Love's new album, America's Sweetheart, is pretty awful, though. Never got past one listen on that one.
I also don't think the comment that Matt should open up the site by tapping administrators is fair. MetaFilter was Matt's idea, and it's his site -- he should be able to run it the way he wants.
For all that monkeys rag on the annoying anti-monkey comments of Mr. Curley or the MeFi atmosphere, there is plenty of anti-MeFi poo flinging going on over here. I think it's disingenuous of some monkeys to poke Matt and MeFi with sharp sticks one minute and then call ourselves a kinder, gentler filter. But okay, whatever.
I think MeFi really needs to be opened to new users. I also understand it will be a more significant time commitment for Matt, not just because of troll elimination, but also because of the potential for abuse and corporate whoring. Does anyone remember the MeFi millionforchrist.com post, where a new member joined MeFi just to secretly do a FPP about his own personal site? A MeFi FPP can lead to the posted site getting from 1K to 5K hits in the next day or so. It would suck for the users if the site turned into a marketing tool. I think MoFi should keep attuned to these issues, too.
From a July 15 Gawker article: "Break Up News: The Anti-Vows. The NY Post, of all places, refers us to a new site called Break Up News, where short announcements may be posted regarding the termination of love affairs. Yay! Apart from basically the entire staff of the NY Observer (including the foxy Ronda Kaysen, the quite-hunky Jake Brooks, and current toasty Post-ette Anna Jane Grossman), other recently-reported broken-hearted folks include Chris Genoversa, the co-owner of Lucky Cheng's, O.G., and China Grill. [UPDATE: We're also starting to hear that Break Up News isn't much on accuracy in reporting, perhaps -- a website after our own hearts!]" So it sounds like they may be taking the facts into their own hands from time to time.
Okay, will stop posting to my own link now. (sorry!)
Actually I think the two people who run the site write the entries, basing them on the emails sent in or on interviews. I could be wrong, though. You are spot on on the writing style.
I think it's dangerous to look at only the moderate views of an extremist and say hey, this extremist isn't all that bad, many of their views make sense. Imagine the result if we did that with other extremists.
rocket88, that strikes me as naive. As though people process joke and work information with two separate and non-interactive brains. The jokes we hear inform our lives and give us an idea of what other people find acceptable, which in turn often affects what we ourselves find acceptable. Everything matters.
enjoyed sexual humor that was judged sexist toward women, but did not enjoy sexual humor when the status of men was threatened
To be sorted under "dishing it out but not taking it" file.
middleclasstool, I know someone who wrote an entire blog entry on the grey/gray question who comes out exactly in your corner.
Well, kudos to you rocket88 for being able to struggle through the intensely anti-scottish social landscape that is present day Canada, enduring job-related discrimination, racially motivated violence, and an entrenched anti-scots establishment, yet still be able to laugh at a good mexican joke. You are truly an inspiration.
Now, why can't all those other races take an example from the white people? We don't mind racist humour!
Now that was good comedy! Kudos to you!
Will some hot Euro monkey go and check out Pretty Generic? He's been regaling the MeFi AskMe boards for help with women, and seems young but not a bad sort.
posted by onlyconnect 19 years ago
In "He's Just Not That Into You: eviscerated"
Also, some people seem to be interpreting the book to be emphasizing coupledom above all else, as though "spinsterhood" is some awful fate. If anything, I'd say it's the opposite, because the advice all boils down to not settling for someone who isn't a really good match for you. Again, I'll just say that there's something very liberating about looking back on that relationship where the guy didn't call enough and I felt like I was doing alot of the work of the relationship and realizing, hey, it's not that he was busy, or having a hard time with his family, or trapped someplace where there was no phone service. He just didn't like me that much. Aha! Fine. Makes it that much easier to move on.
posted by onlyconnect 19 years ago
The ideas discussed in the review are some of the more controversial ones from the book. Some of the other ones make alot of sense, and are designed to stop women from fabricating excuses for the men they're dating. For example . . . if you go on a date or dates and he doesn't call you, stop thinking about him and imagining excuses for why he might not be calling. He just doesn't like you that much. If he says he's going to call you over the weekend and doesn't call until much later, he's not respecting you enough to call you when he said he would. Wouldn't you rather date a guy who likes you enough to want to talk to you at regular intervals? If he says he loves you but is not in love with you, what he really means is that he loves you only as a friend and doesn't want to hurt you. Move on. This is not the great romance of your life. The book goes overboard in places, perhaps, but some of what the authors say does make sense, and gives women the freedom to get out of relationships that they otherwise would have wasted alot of time, effort, hope, and creative talent on in fashioning excuses for their men. It's easy to write the book off as silly or sensationalist, but I appreciated alot of it as quite good advice. (And alot of it is no brainer advice, such as don't date married guys; don't date guys who say they don't want to get married if marriage is important to you; don't date guys who have broken up with you, etc.)
posted by onlyconnect 19 years ago
In "Rumors abound"
Hi, Sooooz! I just came over here to post the same news. Someone is suggesting the Tuesday or Wednesday after Christmas. I'm not positive I can make it, but I hope monkeys will come in any case. Looks like there may be a bunch of new faces amongst the MeFites. Additional info at the wiki. It's a tough time of year, but it looks like some of the potential attendees are only in town for a little while.
posted by onlyconnect 19 years ago
In "Fight! Fight! Fight!"
Auf der Mar's solo album is really bad, though. The lyrics have no poetry the way Love's do. And Hole's Boys on the Radio is a lovely song, especially with jangly guitars and the 3 lines at the end that make you reevaluate the whole thing. Love's new album, America's Sweetheart, is pretty awful, though. Never got past one listen on that one.
posted by onlyconnect 19 years ago
In "For $5 the wonderful world of MeFi can be yours"
I also don't think the comment that Matt should open up the site by tapping administrators is fair. MetaFilter was Matt's idea, and it's his site -- he should be able to run it the way he wants.
posted by onlyconnect 19 years ago
For all that monkeys rag on the annoying anti-monkey comments of Mr. Curley or the MeFi atmosphere, there is plenty of anti-MeFi poo flinging going on over here. I think it's disingenuous of some monkeys to poke Matt and MeFi with sharp sticks one minute and then call ourselves a kinder, gentler filter. But okay, whatever. I think MeFi really needs to be opened to new users. I also understand it will be a more significant time commitment for Matt, not just because of troll elimination, but also because of the potential for abuse and corporate whoring. Does anyone remember the MeFi millionforchrist.com post, where a new member joined MeFi just to secretly do a FPP about his own personal site? A MeFi FPP can lead to the posted site getting from 1K to 5K hits in the next day or so. It would suck for the users if the site turned into a marketing tool. I think MoFi should keep attuned to these issues, too.
posted by onlyconnect 19 years ago
In "Break Up News"
From a July 15 Gawker article: "Break Up News: The Anti-Vows. The NY Post, of all places, refers us to a new site called Break Up News, where short announcements may be posted regarding the termination of love affairs. Yay! Apart from basically the entire staff of the NY Observer (including the foxy Ronda Kaysen, the quite-hunky Jake Brooks, and current toasty Post-ette Anna Jane Grossman), other recently-reported broken-hearted folks include Chris Genoversa, the co-owner of Lucky Cheng's, O.G., and China Grill. [UPDATE: We're also starting to hear that Break Up News isn't much on accuracy in reporting, perhaps -- a website after our own hearts!]" So it sounds like they may be taking the facts into their own hands from time to time. Okay, will stop posting to my own link now. (sorry!)
posted by onlyconnect 19 years ago
Actually I think the two people who run the site write the entries, basing them on the emails sent in or on interviews. I could be wrong, though. You are spot on on the writing style.
posted by onlyconnect 19 years ago
From the interview, I think it's real.
posted by onlyconnect 19 years ago
In "It's a guy thing."
Proper waist-to-hip ratio my ass!
posted by onlyconnect 19 years ago
In "To induce orgasm, "
I really enjoyed the comments in this thread. That is all.
posted by onlyconnect 19 years ago
In "It's a guy thing."
I think it's dangerous to look at only the moderate views of an extremist and say hey, this extremist isn't all that bad, many of their views make sense. Imagine the result if we did that with other extremists.
posted by onlyconnect 19 years ago
In "Curious George - Which of my daughers are mo hotta?"
I'm not joking! :P
posted by onlyconnect 19 years ago
I didn't pay scarabic to post this.
posted by onlyconnect 19 years ago
rocket88, that strikes me as naive. As though people process joke and work information with two separate and non-interactive brains. The jokes we hear inform our lives and give us an idea of what other people find acceptable, which in turn often affects what we ourselves find acceptable. Everything matters.
posted by onlyconnect 19 years ago
enjoyed sexual humor that was judged sexist toward women, but did not enjoy sexual humor when the status of men was threatened To be sorted under "dishing it out but not taking it" file.
posted by onlyconnect 19 years ago
Yes.
posted by onlyconnect 19 years ago
middleclasstool, I know someone who wrote an entire blog entry on the grey/gray question who comes out exactly in your corner. Well, kudos to you rocket88 for being able to struggle through the intensely anti-scottish social landscape that is present day Canada, enduring job-related discrimination, racially motivated violence, and an entrenched anti-scots establishment, yet still be able to laugh at a good mexican joke. You are truly an inspiration. Now, why can't all those other races take an example from the white people? We don't mind racist humour! Now that was good comedy! Kudos to you!
posted by onlyconnect 19 years ago
That was directed at rocket88, who said he told "sexist jokes", so I asked where he stood on racist jokes.
posted by onlyconnect 19 years ago
(limited to the most recent 20 comments)