In "Hypothetically, what would happen if you combined Doctor Who, Eminem and Benny Hill?"

Wow. Truly, the Best. Thing. Ever. Thank you.

In "Tricycle Program Gets Rolling"

But a San Francisco Superior Court injunction prevents the city from making any bicycle-related improvements without special permission from the court. Wuh?


I just got done dancing in streets of downtown Seattle. Never have I seen a happier, more hopeful bunch of 20-something hipster psuedo-hippies. What fun! WOOOOOOOHOOOOOOO!

In "Warp Drive Engine Would Travel Faster Than Light."

HA! The silhouette in the diagram is the Negh'var from DS9. What a bunch of geeks.

In "Invite a doggie into your home"

Feh. Sure didn't work for me.

In "5 Reasons Why "The Customer Is Always Right" Is Wrong"

I am a retail manager. Now and then I get customers who are angry, uptight, and want something for free. One mis-heard the price (we don't mark our prices, they have to ask), and then he wanted it for what he thought he heard. When he asked what I was going to do for him, I broke into a big grin and said, "Sir, I will sell you the kilt in your hand for the price it's marked with a smile and a handshake." He was not pleased. Also, what Neddy and Dreddy said. Dreadnought, where are you in the States? Let me know if you come to Seattle!

In "Cities sans signage"

I like it. Clean, elegant, and totally un-navigable if you don't live there. Fuck the tourists!

In "...when they pry my cold, dead fingers off my clock's pendulum."

TUM, that's cuz theatre rooms got style... Also, HA!

In "Monkey Love."

HORN!!! Good to see ya, buddy! I don't know what that ape had to do with chocolate, and I don't care. He rocked.

In "Study Says Many Studies Suck"

*waits for Weezel to get yelled at for posting a Morford column* Um, why? Do we not like him?

In "Curious Ugly Toy George"

Funny, that's how I always felt about Hello Kitty.

In "Curious George: Nudes for Kids"

What BlueHorse said. As always, she is wise and offers sage advice. I never had to ask my parents about the birds and bees because I grew up in the country. There were birds and bees gettin' it ON all around, so I picked it up pretty early. I lived around hippies, so nudity happened. Not often, but enough to get the point. "You know real women aren't like that, right?" Yes, Mom. That's the whole point. Exactly. Real women aren't half as exciting as airbrushed sex queens. By the time I got my hands on pr0n, I knew all the anatomy. I just didn't know it could be that *good!* They were my dad's 70's Playboys, so they were nice and tasteful. When I was about 10ish, I was terrbly sick and home from school. Dad came in with a rented movie for me (which never happened). It was Revenge of the Nerds. Great movie, plenty of titties, and very encouraging to a burgeoning geek. Wasn't until later (about 14) that I got the Intertubes and I discovered everything else. We live in the era of 2Girls1Cup, and he's going to find it eventually. Best that he have a sliding scale of experience, so he knows that what he sees is not normal. Otherwise he may have a skewed perception of sex.

In "New Bush Coins"

Bush = Hitler. There, it's Godwin'ed. Now we can move on. Also, funny shit!

In "Could You Pass 8th Grade Science?"

92%. Me and TP will be up here at the front of the class if anyone needs us. Also, #13 was fine. Insects are (in general) not good for trees, and fruit certainly ain't the plant's food storage. Simple elimination.

In "Cooties PSA."

The cooties never go away or stop being contagious. It's just that as we get older, we realize they aren't a bad thing.

In "This may be the most awesomest music video evar."

Cowboys. Kung Fu. Lasers. Warrior women riding unicorns saving the day. More Lasers. What's not to like?

In "More from the Pets As Children Dept.:"

I...buh...guh...WHAT? OMGWTF.

In "Pitbull Armour"

Pleg, that amour is FANTASTIC!

In "Thirteen, and Ella-esque."

saw My Kid Could Paint That tonight... Looks interesting. The filmmaker looks like he's a dick about things, though.

In "The Comprehensive Bunny Name List"

What? No Big Daddy Warbucks? That's ridiculous. He was the biggest effen rabbit I've ever seen, Big Daddy Warbucks was.

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