In "Curious George: Leaving the Office"

Get in touch with this bloke: Ado works with Greenpeace & other stuff. A good bloke. Smart, easy going. Lots on the go. lotsa ideas. His brother does some kinda exec' stuff all over the globe. USA too. might have summat there. If ya don't ask, ya don't get. Ado's a pretty quiet sort too. Thinks before opens his trap. Prolly get ya sucked inta summat'a other. Ya might end up in Aussie. Good place to start looking. Seems ta be a fair bitta work around.

In "Ape Shall Not Kill Ape:"

They were pretty good stuff for their time, "life imitating art" d'ya reckon? Eh, where's that Chyren bloke on this one?

In "The Cultcha of Oz. "

Dunno any'a them, UndiesMonster. Too bloody pure, me! Eh Chyz, sorry mate, run thru me budj' fa the week. Just got holda Sydders H Bridge signed by Warney. Ta fer the tip but. Sk'yoooze me Quidz, I got rellies playin' the didge, runnin' fa' pollie & chasin' down a mean roo. The bastard keeps buggerin' off.

"Chirpy Aussie!" CHIRPY! ~spew~

more here

In "Ails and Tails"

Wunwun won one race for one TuTu won one too Poor old Three came in behind but geez he made good glue.

In "Fuck yeah!"

Fuckin 'A' Made my day!

In "Cuirios George: "

Eh? wot's the bullshit on the shoes thing? Where ya are is what ya do. Wot's the prob? Take em off, change em, do the woolly leopard pattern thing? Wot the fuck? Custom, respect, all that. Do wot's the thing ta do wherever yous are. Easy, ask some bugger. Okay, i know i'm a dumbshit but i don't get the prob here.

In "Teenager's deodorant causes explosion. "

"We would advise families never to leave arsehole sons alone." Indeed. posted by randomaction at 03:49PM UTC on June 02, 2006 Awwwwhhh .. commm-onnnn ... this's bloody brilliant! That kid'll be able to get free beers offa that yarn for the rest of his life. Yeah, Rit' and Dex'll work on the attention/short term mem' thing, but mate, innit a bloody capper when ya get ta reckanize that ya bloody-well gotta choice? Us mob with whatchacallit ADHD who get the pitcha, we got it made inna shade. Wanna get focused on that boring bloody shit & get the shit done? Drop the tabs. Wanna be off the wall & go with the flow? Eh, just let ya brain do the usual fuckin cruisin. Dim-as, mate. I'm wasted straight. Fuckin A!. Just bloody love it, no worries. Eh, make it work for ya. Shit, i never needed street shit drugs. (Did as many as i got a chance at a'course) Born off me face and out there. Freedom's knowin the diff'. Blow up ya oldie's house eh? The best. Gotta be the top. What a cracker. Made me week. All i ever done was set me bedroom on fire! & ya move fast when ya adrenalin loops in. :-D

In "American police torturing suspected drug user...listen to the tape!"

Attention whore? Wot? Eh? drags out blonde wig. No one understands me! Shit, me dog ate me bra & the kid's pinched me black leather bum barers.

"I guess it's just me, pretty much. While the great novel I've hated the most was Huckleberry Finn, because Twain's transliteration of black speech pissed me off so much, " Bloody righton Path. "And, if you have to spend a little time understanding someone who doesn't do the usual, think of it as easy steps to learning a new language, because I do think you get the drift, even if you're pissed that someone should dare to veer away from your mental test-books." Double bloody righton Path! I write pretty much the way i talk, most of the time. I wouldn't say it's laziness, or arrogance. Part of the laugh in life I reckon. I'll give ya the drum mate, bin in more sitch's where me 'patois' has found me a lotta mates & a lot more bloody good laughs than aggro. One time i was stuck in East LA, didn't have a clue where the hell i was but turned out it was not a good place fa any pasty faced bloke to be. Mobba blokes standin around so i opened me gob & i said summat like, "G'day, where the fuck am i?" & all these heavy lookin blokes started pissin emselves laughin. I couldn't understand a bloody word they said but we ended up havin a few beers & them tryin to teach me 'ebonics', buggered if i could work it out. Those blokes ended up talkin 'strine' better'n me mate. A few more beers later & i got 'escorted' by about 20 blokes right to where i needed to get to. Coulda been a few less'n 20 i reckon, i was pissed as bloody newt by that stage, & fuck knows what those blokes were on along with the booze. I was laughin so much was hard put ta stop meself chunderin. Funny buggers. & yeah, goodnonya Path.

In "Peruse or perish."

First, i'm gonna apologise to Beeswacky coz I reckon he's a bloody good poet, but i couldn't resist havin a go at this. I reckon i will never see a Monkey Filter inna tree like swacky with his rhyming Bee swingin on his poetry Leaping past ascerbic Chy asbestos tongue he's dipped in lye and smoothly Path is flyin by that BasilDrak's mangled "g'dai" Wolof snarls his added 'oh' spits feathers out from eatin crow as Cariolisdave, ya know reads Roryk's words by candleglow A bash of keys and Tracicle gains order from the farcical that Kiwi accent's comical but her brain's sized astronomical That Jeraboam's bloody odd but Gomichild's worked out the sod Es el questro gives the nod and Randomaction makes it quod Islander's a real good sort Skrik huffs his derisive snort Quidnunc kid does as he aught & Nickdanger types a careful thought I ran outta inspiration. Goodonya Jezza.

In "American police torturing suspected drug user...listen to the tape!"

Ere, hangon, hangon there Chyza, i meanta say, all Oz isn't like Sydders. Shit, i'm in bloody trouble now! Shit, & i bloody welded me iron hat & me bloody chest-plate inta a barbie grill. Hope yous'r a lousy shot mate.

The weapons are down. Unbewaffnet und den Spaß genießend. Wie über Sie? Schließlich Österreich ermangelt aber ein ' a ' und ein ' L '. Mehr Berge dort auch. Είναι όλα τα ελληνικά σε με. :-D

So please. For love of the impression of the country you so obviously love -- drop the retarded Paul Hogan impression. Not even Hoges sounds like a demented oz-bot offscreen. Coriolisdave, Bloody Hoges is a Sydneysider mate. If the bloke went further north from Newcastle before he made it big, it'd be a surprise. Sydders is not Australia. As for lovin the country, yeah, maybe, but theres a lotta places i bin at home in, & love. It's the people, not the place mate. I reckon nationalism/xenophobia & bloody religion are major divisive & destructive aspects of the 'human condition.' A buncha bullshit designed to manipulate populations so some dickhead psychopath can big-note themselves coz that's the only time the poor bastards feel anything. At the top of any organisation is where yous'll find the "successful psychopath." Uniforms are a dead give-away. Paramilitary orgs usin the same methods to create 'cohesive units'. Tear em down, build em up. Brainwashin stuff used by most, not all, military trainers/units. Religious orgs are bloody experts. Most Oz military (stress that 'most') choose to avoid that shit these days. You get a lotta stupid zombies who can't think for themselves. Bikies'r the worst I reckon. Buncha big girl's blouses, arsewipes who'r weak as piss without their 'brothers' ta back em up. Same with that gangsta shit. Might as well get around with clubs, dribblin mammoth stew. Azzamattarrafack, InsolentChimp, me best mate talks like a bloody Professor of Linguistics. He's learnin fast but there's nuthin funnier than 'strine' spoken by a bloke with an accent like bloody Prince Charlie. Irvine Welsh? James Joyce? Langston Hughes? Robert Burns? Oy, i read that lot. 'A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man,' what a buncha wank that is. Rabbie's nae timorous wee beastie but! & what about that John Donne bloke eh? I gotta copy of his stuff in me dunny library. "The Flea Mark but this flea, and mark this, How little that which thou deny'st me is; Me it sucked first, and now sucks thee, And in this flea, our two bloods mingled be; Confess it, this cannot be said A sin, or shame, or loss of maidenhead,".. Yeah, gotta love that!

G'day Coriolisdave. Negative qualms friend. I'll do my best to write more 'comprehensible' English, and use appropriate sentence structure, grammar, syntax, etcetera. With a respecful request though, that the occasional severe outbreaks of 'strine' will be pardoned by all with compassion and understanding. ;-D Its gonna be bloody hard on the brain but, coz i think faster in 'strine'. Oh yes, and I shall also ensure that I make frequent use of "The Oxford Comma" in order to please the 'purists' of Monkey Filter. :-D No wukkin furries mate!

Forgot, Ralpho-thedog, a bit of a nod on ya note, Oh, and by the way, thanks also for referring to our country as the "Yoo Ess of Arse-hole". Word choices such as that are always a good way to begin a civil discussion of cultural differences. Yous'r welcome ta call Oz whatever ya like, howabout 'scrub suckin scraggy arsed roo humpers'? Shit, forgot again, yous'v gotta be bloody fast ta grab the bloody roo or yous'll end up witha mouth fulla them brown nuggets.

Yeah too, & i grew up with a lotta Indiginies. Most of em couldn't speak 'English' but they knew how ta communicate better'n anyone i met anywhere. They spent a lotta time being bloody good ta me. That lonely bloody misfit kid in the bush is still a big parta me. Indiginies taught me to keep that kid in good shape for the resta me life. Between them & me rough-cut dad, me booze-raddled Unk and me bloody-minded shitty tempered mum, i reckon i learned how ta get along with pretty much any bastard, except a few I hadda king-hit a cuppla times here'n there a-corse. ;-D

Oh yeah, Oz's got a lotta the same probs as the Yew-essov-bloody-Arrgh. But i reckon we got a bit less aggro over-all coz women & men hadda work together in the first place just ta survive. The country's a lot harsher geographically than Yeww-ess. We got the Indiginies hassle, poor bastards. They never had booze or flu' or Leprosy, any of those Yoorup diseases (like IndigIndians in Yew-ess) so the booze, & diseases killed more Indigines than any bloody pasty-faced bloody arrogant Pommie bastard settlers ever did. Indiginese'v still got Hansen's Disease rampant in nth west Oz, glaucoma, all that nasty shit. But i reckon the Indiginies'v given us pasty faced buggers more'n we realise, & it crawls inta ya spirit whether yous like it or not. Politics'r different too, yous can call ya local MP a bastard to his face here. Okay, we put up with arsewipes like that Bush-likkin Howard but we don't bow down like yous poor buggers in the Yew-Ess. We'll get shot of this lot in govt here when they get too up emselves. & Calvanist bloody 'Protestant work ethic' crap is just another bloody excuse to avoid gettin involved, gives yous an excuse for bein bloody superior, judgemental & lackin compassion & gives yous an excuse to avoid havin ta make a choice about usin summa ya time helpin the other bloke. i like me nosey neighbors. Yous tell em ta piss off when ya need to, ya don't need to hurt the bugger's feelins or create shit, yous talk to the buggers. Bloody amazin what a good yarn over a beer'll do ta keep ya fences mended.

g'day Wendo, yeah, i reckon yous lot on here are pretty bloody hotshit too. Said it before & 'll prolly say it again. A lotta real clever bastards'r on here, great sheilas & good blokes. Havin a missus like Wifey, who's sharp as a tack & twice as bloody good lookin, hadda brush up me act. Reckon that Tracicle's a bloody diamond fa gettin this place goin. if yous'r diamond, yous'll attract 2 typesa people, those who wanta own &/or wanta abuse the diamond or those who'r bloody diamonds too. Yeah, a lotta bloody dia-minds on here mate.

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