July 29, 2005

Sheath Cleaning: Have you done your gelding/stallions lately? Check to make sure there are no prospective boyfriends, elderly neighbors, or Brownie troops with a line of sight to the proceedings. Though of course they're probably going to show up unexpectedly ANYWAY once you're in the middle of things. Prepare a good explanation.
posted by eldigilo 18 years ago
  • Never be rough with your horse's genitals, or you may end up injured. Now there's some good advice. I'm sure there's a life lesson in there somewhere.
  • Apparently that guy who got fucked by that horse didn't know that one. Or maybe the horse didn't know.
  • There was a boy at my school who had been done this as part of his holiday job. His mistake was in telling everyone else about it: fourteen-year-old boys do not have a mature attitude towards intimate equine hygiene!
  • Aargh. Make that "who had done this".
  • How do wild horses keep clean?
  • They use rolling stones.
  • 2.) Trim your fingernails short. Assemble horse, hose, and your sense of humor (plus, ideally, Excalibur cleanser and perhaps thin rubber gloves). Subtract the horse part and it sounds like the prep I do for most of my dates...leave the horse in and it sounds like the rest.
  • At least one Monkey's been there and done that.
  • MonkeyHorseFilter: The largest bean I ever removed was the size of a golf ball.
  • *stooge-slaps MonkeyFilter* Spread out! Ya Chuckleheads!
  • o_O
  • This also, btw, puts a new twist on the story Jack and the Magic Beanstalk.
  • *stands up and takes bow for inspiring eldigilo to post this edifying information* MonkeyFilter: Never be rough with your horse's genitals, or you may end up injured.
  • Entry number one in Monkeyfilter's Book of Etiquette?
  • In Washington State, horse's genitals are rough with YOU!
  • For what it's worth, I found this page while looking for information on horse welfare on behalf of [long story here] the European Union. I'm afraid that sheath cleaning tips won't be in the final documents as I was primarily interested in more mundane topics such as housing, stable ventilation etc.