July 20, 2005

Man dies from injuries incurred from sex with horse
Worse, it's not an isolated incident. Not even close. The "40-acre farm where investigators found hundreds of hours of videotape depicting men, including the one who died, having sex with horses" in Enumclaw, Washington where this took place will probably not even be charged with anything, even though they dropped the dead man off at the local hospital post-mortem. Not that I don't think this guy didn't have it coming.

A surprising discovery is that horses, in Washinton at least, are too large to be cruel to. I can't believe they even have to, but Washington might finally tell their citizens that they can't have sex with animals. And as you can see from this blog's comments, PETA is on the case as well. Apparently, it was traumatic for reporters to even write about.

posted by trig 18 years ago
  • This really just sickens me. I bet peritonitis is a rough way to go. And who wouldn't have looked at a horse penis and said, "uhh, danger"?
  • *whinnies*
  • Was I the only one who read this and thought of the phrase: "Wild Horse-Fuckers of the Pacific Northwest"? Yes? Well, sorry about bringing it up.
  • A heavy petting farm?
  • You still have to jack off a horse.
  • What would Tonto say?
  • Well, the guy was sticking it to a stallion so what did he expect? I would have thought that he would abuse a mare (sorry, mare, not you of course) or, if he was stuck on male plumbing, a gelding. Either of those two options would have been less likely than a stallion to kick the shit out of him (or into his abdominal cavity in this case) due to the whole "lack of testosterone" thing. Of course, I'm assuming that the guy in question was "sticking it" to the animal... *blinks* *realizes what probably happened* *goes red* Ohhh... never mind. My mistake.
  • Surely we've all seen this type of thing on the interweb before? Haven't we...? ahem...cough *Exits, whistling*
  • trig: Not that I don't think this guy didn't have it coming. Ahem. Heh. Bwahahahahaaaa!
  • /feel sorry for the sheriff as well as the stallion
  • He got fucked up the arse by a horse. Be thankful you've only seen goatse man.
  • I've said it before and I'll say it again, if you can imagine it, some pervert somewhere is trying it.
  • A guy calls his buddy the horse rancher and says he's sending a friend over to look at a horse. His buddy asks "How will I recognize him?" "That's easy. He's a midget with a speech impediment". So, the midget shows up, and the guy asks him if he's looking for a male or female horse. "A female horth." He shows him a prized filly. "Nith looking horth. Can I thee her eyeth?" So the guy picks up the midget and he gives the horse's eyes the once over. "Nith eyeth, can I thee her earthz?" He picks the little fella up again, and shows him the horse's ears. "Nith earthz, can I thee her mouf?" The rancher is gettin' pretty ticked off by this point, but he picks him up again and shows him the horse's mouth. "Nice mouf, can I thee her twat?" Totally mad as fire at this point, the rancher grabs him under his arms and rams the midget's head as far as he can up the horse's twat, pulls him out and slams him on the ground. The midget gets up, sputtering and coughing. "Perhapth I thould rephrathe that; Can I thee her wun awound a widdlebit"?
  • 林子之大什么鸟都有
  • 林子之大什么鸟都有
  • Weird...but not as weird as this dead horse-fucker
  • I refrain from commenting at this point.
  • The Editor & Publisher article was interesting. How do you write about having a horse ride someone to death in a family newspaper without violating community standards? The problem is that the act, unlike murder, not common enough as a topic of discussion to have a more neutral vocabulary. It reminds me of some of the euphemisms for sexual assault in popular culture in the Victorian period, which makes me wonder whether it's something we're really not aware of or we're just not talking about it. I can't find a non-blog link easily for it, but Neal Horsley, the anti-abortion activist who was sued for putting up the wanted list of doctors, said on a radio show earlier this year that where he grew up (rural Georgia, IIRC), everybody's first girlfriend was a mule. Maybe my relatives are just protecting my city slicker self, but nobody ever told me any such thing about east Texas.
  • 林子之大什么鸟都有 Trans: Fucked by a horse! Fuck yeah!
  • Close kit, but no cigar. Literally 'The forest is so big it has every sort of bird', or something like 'it takes all sorts'. Fucked by a horse would be "被一匹马鸡干了", in this case specifying the anal nature of the congress rather than using more generally terms for 'fucking' such as '肏'. The essentials of polite discourse in modern Chinese
  • 蓼食う虫も好き好き。
  • I feel sorry for the cops having to watch hundreds of hours of rampant horse buggery on video.
  • Sounds like a normal night in for me. Oh, wait, I mean... er..... *exits whistling again*
  • 被一匹马鸡干了 = my next tattoo.
  • Whenever anyone posts Chinese characters, all I see is a row of boxes. I think my computer is racist.
  • I've said it before: We, as a society, need to be a bit more circumspect about what we put up our butts. Not to mention the decision to video the event. That shit is just foolish, people.
  • Just [he] and the pygmy pony . . over by the dental floss bush. or, MonkeyFilter: “If you’re talking about sheep or goats, there could be some issues”
  • Racist computers hate your freedom!
  • Look, I've seen Equus, and I'm sure that this guy just had access to a richer and more passionate mode of existence that the rest of you button-downed neurotics who've never taken a big horse cock up-a your ass.
  • This is clearly another White House orchestrated news story to get our minds off of Karl Rove.</lame_joke> Funniest line from the news story? I nominate: "Police are still making sure that sex was not forced on the smaller, weaker animals, thus constituting animal cruelty (which is a crime)."
  • Koko: Mine was Japanese, not Chinese! But the problem is the same. You must be using Windows, right? OS X and most Linux distributions come with support for multiple scripts out the box. It's those damnable racists at Redmond who hate your freedom and don't install them by default! Or perhaps they just want to minimise the disk space taken up by a default installation. If you are using Windows XP or 2000, grab the installation CD, go to the Control Panel (and set it to classic mode if you're on XP), Regional and Language Options, select the box marked "Install files for East Asian languages", and hit OK. With luck, after a bit of installing, and possibly rebooting, you'll get nice characters instead of boxes.
  • Look, I've seen Equus, and I'm sure that this guy just had access to a richer and more passionate mode of existence that the rest of you button-downed neurotics who've never taken a big horse cock up-a your ass. Thanks for the insight, Caligula.
  • Thanks, ThreeDayMonk, but those instructions make me sleepy. I'd rather just sulk about it, if it's all the same.
  • Installation CD? These things actually exist? I thought everyone got knock-off software. Not that I do. No. Not me.
  • (Waiting for the Smoking Gun report)
  • I really hope that this is on the next "When Animals Attack!"
  • Call me "pure as the driven snow" but while I can understand how one isolated perv get into this, how do you go from that to a whole group of them? Write something on the outhouse wall? Usenet alt.sex.horse.pitch/alt.sex.horse.catch? (Trying to imagine the scenario in which the subject was first broached in conversation... I'm guessing large amounts of alcohol were involved?) Anybody have any psychic brillo recipes?
  • Thanks for the insight, Caligula And another thing ... the horse should be made Consul. Oh, and I want to shag my sister.
  • Regarding e-mails the reporter has recieved since publishing the story: Most of them express sympathy to Sullivan for having to write such a horrific story and thank her for leaving out gratuitous aspects, or using phrases like "horsing around."
  • Thank god I cannot even imagine how that would have been accomplished.
  • Oh, and I want to shag my sister. Well you must be the only guy who hasn't. too far?
  • Yes. In a thread about being sodomized-by-a-horse-to-death, you, kitfisto, have gone over the line of good taste and decency. Johnny, tell him what he's won!
  • I hope it's some lube. Dobbin's comin' over later for some stable-lovin'.
  • *saddles kitfisto, promises to call tomorrow*
  • I cannot even imagine how that would have been accomplished Some kind of Pasiphae set-up?
  • Well you must be the only guy who hasn't Oh god I wish I had a girlfriend.
  • *saddles quidnunc, promises to call kitfisto tomorrow*
  • I can fix you up with a couple of fine little fillies.
  • Mr. Ed enjoying his postcoital ciggy: "That was scrummmmptious, Wilburrr."
  • Catherine the Great continues to protest it ws all a lie.
  • too far? Depends... did you mean "one's own" or specifically "his" sister?
  • Frau Brucher.
  • *Nieeieieieieeigh!!!*
  • whichever floats your boat, techy.
  • video cap poor taste??
  • You got it mixed up. The guy was the bottom- the horses ass wasn't involved.
  • Just to play devil's advocate for a minute, most of you folks eat meat, right? So you're responsible for inflicting all kinds of suffering on animals for no reason but sensory pleasure. Don't worry, I do it too (eat meat, that is). Viscerally, I find bestiality repulsive, but really, I don't see how you can claim it's worse.
  • all kinds of suffering No for no reason but sensory pleasure No
  • Well, as long as the horses was properly tranquilized and due to be put down anyway, I really don't see a problem with fucking it.
  • Barnyard debauchery? Farm of fornication? Equestrian escorts? House of hung horse? Teh question I pose is, how does one come across such chat rooms on the interwebs? Oh, the chickens! The chickens!
  • for no reason but sensory pleasure ..... huh??
  • Will the real Keraptis please stand up?
  • a bestiality haiku: Never fuck your pets, because from then, you call? they think: "Wha - fuck again??" *bows*
  • you animal!
  • Yes, no reason but sensory pleasure. You eat meat because you like it. It's not at all difficult to get all the nutrients you need and maintain good health without eating meat.
  • Sorry, I can't wrap myself around your premise here.
  • The gods do not hand out incisors for no reason, FK. While modern humanity has the intelligence and economic infrastructure to do what you say? Evolutionarily speaking, we are predators, and are bodies are adapted for meat. There is truth in what you say, but it is not as simple as all that, either. And I think it's also very much an apples/oranges kind of thing compared to presenting one's backside for shtupping to a horse.
  • "Premise", eh? So that's the hip young slang today. Heck, it even sounds like what it's supposed to be.
  • Some people eat meat not because they like it, but because they have to. Some people eat vegetables not because they like it, but because they have to. Likewise, some people eat cock not because they like it, but because they have to. Dll... Dll... And what Fes said. I don't see how you can claim it's worse Eat meat, fuck a horse? Fuck, you are right! Saddle up boys, we're goin bareback!!
  • MonkeyFilter: Wild Horse-Fuckers of the Pacific Northwest This horse, it vibrates?
  • And look at what just got FPP'd on the Blue.
  • I think it may have more to do with the treatment of animals than dietary concerns. Eating meat does not equal approving of factory farms. That said, I think they're too different as . . .what's that word . . premises . . . to consider.
  • Because dying so your corpse can feed someone is exactly like having sex! I sort of really want to know what the horse's side of the story was, and I sort of really, really don't.
  • I wonder if the horse had to be drugged (Neighagra?), and if it had been, would the authorites have still found that the horse "was not harmed" in such a case. Yeah, yeah, horses are not people, this horse "was not harmed" and the dude is dead anyway, but the reference to animal size being a determining factor in whether cruelty occurred is disturbing.
  • I sort of really want to know what the horse's side of the story was Attorney at deposition: "Now then, Mr. Horse, is it not true that you engaged in sodominical intercoursing with the nutjob in question?" Horse: "Neigh!"
  • All right. You go to your room, mister.
  • I've said it before and I'll say it again, if you can imagine it, some pervert somewhere is trying it. /blushes, exits surreptitiously
  • I never thought a thread about a man dying after forcing a horse to sodomize him could get so ugly until I saw Fes' joke. that . . . was awful.
  • all kinds of suffering No Yes.
  • C'mon Pete, it was ten times funnier than that p.o.s. The Aristocrats.
  • fair enough.
  • I find that I am seeing the policy of 40 acres and a mule in a new light after these revelations
  • First of all: PY, good one. Secondly: Somewhere, in the back of my mind, some evil lobe is still trying to imagine what this must have looked like. DAMN you all! *backwashes brain, blows it dry*
  • The logistics would be difficult, at best... I'm going to spend the evening offline reading Harry Potter. It'll all be better in the morning.
  • *slips thursday a link to some harry potter slash fic* *whistles innocently*
  • There once was a man from the 'claw with a taste for a romp in the straw. He invited a horse To take him by force so he wouldn't fall foul of the law.
  • All I know is that buddy should have read the warnings on the 'How To' section of that dolphin sex site. Same principles apply to having sex with a horse, I expect. I've said too much...
  • There are, in fact, examples of horse fuckee videos available on the net. No, I don't know where to find them, nor would I watch them, but a screencap was posted at Sensible Erection in the particular thread dealing with this event. So, cynnbad, there ya go.
  • I'm afraid to look. But thanks anyway.
  • So, I was at a health food store awhile ago, and as I was buying my food I engaged in some small talk with the cashier. I mentioned I was going fishing the coming weeked. He got all upset at me, and asked how I could be so casual about killing an animal like that. I responded with "Oh no, I'm not going to kill any fish. I'm just going to catch a couple, have sex with them, and release them."
  • When I got home last night, I was rather drunk. I loggied into Monkeyfilter (as you do) and wrote this thread off as an alcohol-related hallucination and woke up deeply concerned about the state of my mental health. I woke up and found this damn thread still here so all I can do is stare at you crazy monkeys in wonder. But... at least it's not just me.
  • "... and release them." You sick fuck.
  • Reminds me of the Led Zeppelin groupie story.
  • O.K., Spacee Kitee. You loggied into Monkeyfilter. So what are you trying to do, exactly? It hurts to sit down!
  • I've probably already read them, bear. Uh, I mean... I think I'll go back to lurking now.
  • I still can't imagine the human + livestock sex thing. Can I be a tadpole?
  • Like a litle spermy tadpole swimming away up there? Kind of dark, isn't it? And what's that smell?
  • No, Space Kitty, you're still hallucinating. What on earth were you drinking?!
  • Me.
  • oh, god; we had never considered the smegmatic aspects of the horror-on-wheels of congress with livestock. D oes anyone have good home for a a dwarf hamster? Sandy demands it!!
  • Possibly, if you declaw and defang him. Is it okay if I call him "Richard"?
  • oops, I apparently posted that without intending to. It was a poem thngy. Sorry; retracted.
  • I'm still afraid to look at the pictures! Should I feel good or bad about that?
  • Poor Richard. This cookie recipe commemmorates that morning-after horsee-fuckee feeling. Sort of.
  • It's better to regret something you have done than something you haven't done... Mwa ha ha ha... Now, seriously, there are things from the net I wish had never clicked the link to. Not that they scarred me, and it's always better to know about things beforehand, but still, if you feel that might upset you, better to pass on that one, cynnbad.
  • It's lucky you bollixed the link, then.
  • Can we put the kybosh on links to Everything2, please? I hate all that linked shit.
  • i remember reading in slaughterhouse 5 that one of the first photographs (daguerotypes) was a woman sucking off a pony (or something like that). i always assumed it was just made up for the book. . .but. . .this man died with a hard horse's dick up his ass. and so it goes.
  • In the grand scheme of things, there are probably worse ways to go. But, as it has been proven, we are all products of Space Kitty's imagination. So knock it off with the links to horse buggery. You sick bastards.
  • A worse way to go than being buggered to buggery by a horse? *shudders*
  • mmyeah.
  • Just for the record, while I admit to having been to Enumclaw, I have never been to this farm. I feel for those poor investigators that have to view those videos. That's gotta be incredibly disturbing.
  • Is everyone all right in here? Just checking.
  • Relax, relax. You all need some music to forget all this madness.
  • I was drinking seven and seven at The Parlour Club. Finding out that everyone else is a figment of my imagination would not be a surprising result of such an evening.
  • the ironic thing is, we think we're ourselves. ha!
  • I am the writing on your wall.
  • It just doesn't seem big enough to have a whole horse in there.
  • Hey, easy with the looping and recursiving of threads, there. Last time, a small black hole imploded in here.
  • What?
  • I tried being a figment of someone's else's imagination -- it's a lot like taking a retroactive vacation
  • bees, that's genius *applause*
  • Indeed. Well done! *sound of two hands clapping*
  • Make that three!
  • voila, bees, and someone independently sent me pic. No pulleys involved; very disappointed.
  • Damn. I know it was obvious, but Koko beat me to the Frau Blücher reference, even if it wasn't spelled right. Damn.
  • Hey Hey - Space Kitty's imagination doesn't use that kind of language young figment. Even if it is a thread about a man getting schtupped by a horse.
  • Space Kitty, could you please day-dream a better season of the Simpsons?
  • Sorry, Doohickie. Would you like a sedagive? Could have sworn it was "Brucher", but IMDb says otherwise.
  • MonkeyFilter: Would you like a sedagive?
  • In Washington State, horse fucks YOU!
  • I hate it when a good tread dies. Especially one about equine sodomy. looks around at empty room, turns out light, leaves door cracked for easy re-entry
  • So, the new phrase is, "Fuck you with the horse you rode in under"?
  • Man mounts horse. (yawn) Horse mounts man. See above.
  • *feels like indulging Weezel's need to keep talking about equine sodomy* So how did this all start? Was his throat feeling a little hoarse? (Wow. A week later, and I've still got nuthin'.)
  • *exploits the crack left for easy re-entry...* Oh, wait, that's what the horse did...
  • Would that make you kitfistula?
  • Only if I can wear a cape.
  • You are . . WYLD STALLYUNS
  • Well, all this, um...ickiness has driven me from Washington. I will be moving to Oregon on Monday. Waldport, here I come!!!
  • I loathe Brodeur too, Darsh, but isn't that a little extreme? Happy trails!
  • supposedly the video is on the web now. I strongly advise you to not look for it. Or think about it. advertising doesn't make people think of anything specific either. /soapbox
  • I strongly second petebest's advice. Do not, do not, do not google for "enumclaw horse sex video." If you do, do not view the resulting mpg file. And if you must persevere, for god's sake turn off the sound unless you want to hear somebody being fucking impaled. That is all. I am so sorry.
  • *crouching in foxhole* it's quiet. . . . it's too quiet . . .
  • apart from the sound of someone being fucking impaled, of course...
  • supposedly the video is on the web now. Yup.
  • "Safari can't open this page." And then the hand of God came down, and spared the fool from his self-inflicted punishment.
  • Guffaw.
  • why did thunder strike just as i read that?
  • And then the hand of God came down, and spared the fool from his self-inflicted punishment. I only wish that I could have been so lucky... *tries to regain sanity*
  • you pushed the shiny, red, candy-like button, didn't you.
  • B.. bbu.. but it looked so completely harmless! *slaps self silly* *curses Photoshop*
  • HAHAHAHA!!! My husband just asked "Didn't they have a safe word?"
  • Yeah, I think it was :'Ow! Get this horse's dick out my arse, I just heard something rip...'
  • I, for one, am shocked.
  • "This was one bizarre year, wasn't it? For the sake of my line of work, here's hoping for more of the same in 2006." So, let me get this straight. He's hoping for more horse-sex-related deaths in 2006, so he can have a good year at his job? I got no problem with that.
  • Oh sure, like, who didn't bottom for a horse this year? besides me, I mean
  • *raises hand meekly* Uh, I didn't. I didn't know I was supposed to.
  • So, let me get this straight. He's hoping for more horse-sex-related deaths in 2006, so he can have a good year at his job? Well, you spend four years getting that Ph.D in Investigating Bestiality-Related Deaths from Washington State University, you want to get some use out of it, dammit! The textbook bill for that degree is staggering, because they all have to be smuggled in from the Netherlands.
  • You know, somewhere in between "Accidental Death" and "Suicide," can we have an official category for "Doing Something Incredibly Fucked-Up-Stupid that's Likely to Get You Killed?" It would include things like horse-buggery, going over Niagara Falls in a barrel, trying to fly off the Eiffel Tower, etc.
  • Being eighteen and voting Republican? *doo-pat!* Hey! Seriously, you're allright, you're allright kid.
  • I think bottoming for the horse has replaced jumping the shark.
  • Does "Enumclaw" seem like it ought to be a clever backward spelling or anagram of something? On a serious note, I hope that bill passes.
  • anti-bestiality bill What a whacked fucking world we live in that this is even an issue. The measure – Senate Bill 6417 – would make having sex with an animal, alive or dead, a class C felony I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
  • /i ended up laughing
  • Class C felonies -- uh, I have a Class G licence, so what can I get away with fucking?
  • Cabbages.
  • Done and done.
  • I got a firm young beetroot you might be interested in. $50.
  • $50? But it's used!
  • Yeah, that's right. It knows a trick or two now, I can tell ya.
  • Beetroots are such sluts.
  • There is nothing more virginal than a brussel sprout on the stalk.
  • Peter, Peter, pumpkin eater Never boinked a pickled beet But leave him with a virgin sprout You'll see what lovin's all about
  • You sick fucks.
  • No, dear. That's sick forks ...and spoons. I say, "BRING ON THE DANCING BROCCOLI!"
  • Wherever they may roam Shiver and say the words Of every lie you've heard
  • I went to see Bauhas last night (vague Echo & the Bunnymen music of my youth link). They were aces, and Goth chicks are still hot. I am tired now (cos i stayed up late, not cos of the hot Goth chicks)
  • Bauhaus is still around?
  • Yes, and they rawked! \m/ Pete Murphey is losing his hair a bit, but apart from that they all looked cool. A Goth Girl passed out at our feet during Telegram Sam. That was but one of the many highlights.
  • Murphy.
  • Bela Lugosi is still dead?
  • Undead, apparently.
  • No one geeves two fahks for Bela.
  • PULL DE STRINGS!!!
  • "Welcome to 'Bela's Okay Discoveries!'"
  • Don't you be hatin' on Bela!
  • oooh Bauhaus! I saw them in Vegas in '99 and the show was assume. did they play Spirit?
  • "WAFB 9NEWS decided not to broadcast moving video clips that appear to show the man and horse together. Instead, we included only still frames from the videotape in hopes that someone would be able to recognize the man shown in the videotape. The still frames we selected for our report do not show any situations in which the male appears to be in direct contact with the animal. People, people -- how many times in one's life does one get the opportunity to broadcast horse-porn, and put it in the guise of journalistic integrity? Maybe, like, twice? Tsk tsk, I say. TSK. TSK.
  • show was assume Hey, you know what happens when you assume a show . . .
  • McPhail's wife told investigators that she found her husband on their back porch Busted by the wife eh? That doesn't bode well as they say.
  • Hmm. . . my mouse refuses to click that link!
  • And small loss if they do.
  • Didn't even know it was there. And now that I've read it, and learned more about this Mr. Hands, I've good. "Bullseye". Sheesh.
  • Horsing around at Cannes. Ah, it's great to revive these fine, old threads...
  • . . while simultaneously giving the reason why not to! Oy I tells ya.
  • Yeah, I never get tired of the horse fucking thread.
  • MonkeyFilter: Mammal to mammal love
  • Yeah, if love means having an arse like a cannon wound...
  • Because I didn't know where else to put this: Washington cop warned about Taser use after demonstrating on man's genitals. Now off to youtube...
  • Oh, man, search on "taser" on YouTube, and you get a raft of really disturbing shit illustrating how putting on a uniform can really fuck up how you interact with others.
  • It was bound to happen. Now the kids want in on the action...
  • That last line makes the article.
  • That camel really gave her the hump, eh?
  • That's sad. I hope they didn't put the camel down, but they probably did.
  • Smoked by a camel.
  • one hump or two?
  • Maybe 'putting the camel down' was how she got into that mess...
  • Augh, my brain, it burns! Necrophilia + bestiality = worst thing ever.
  • I'd like to know if that deer was over the age of consent or not? cause necrophilia + bestiality + child molestation is quite a trifecta ;)
  • *gag* Is it me, or is there just a heckofalot more weirdness out there anymore? In some very small and distant theoretical way, I can understand that there might be people who would get off on having sex with an animal. But I can NOT fathom the weird alien mind that has to KILL the horse to have sex with it. It makes me want to lock the doors and sit in the dark with a gun.
  • hey! don't you infringe on my right to sodomize Bambi's carcass. Square.
  • I still can't decide which is worse - killing a horse in order to have sex with it, or pulling the car over to the side of the road, rushing back to that deer carcass you just passed, and having sex with it. (I mean, I assume that's the deer-fucking scenario, since the article didn't elaborate. It's possible the deer-fucker went hunting and shot the deer himself. But if that were the case, how would he have gotten caught, way out in the woods like that? No, I assume he happened across some roadkill, and was subsequently spotted by passers-by. In which case, my most heartfelt condolences to the passers-by.)
  • "Bryan James Hathaway, 21, of Superior had his probation revoked last month for using alcohol and marijuana, lying to his probation agent, and having unapproved contact with a minor child and sexual relations with another adult." One can have one's probation revoked for having sexual relations with another adult?
  • Shit!
  • I was expecting a pithy and intellectually impressive comment from Ralph. WTF? I demand my $5 registration fee back!
  • Wha...???
  • Now that's what I was hoping for- I knew you wouldn't let me down buddy. Tracy- never mind, you can keep the five bucks. RTD, In case you really were wondering, I was referred here by comments in Tracy's blog where you complained about having a witty comment do a no-show. I thought you might have remembered it- hope springs eternal
  • *buys self a lollipop*
  • Can I have a lick of that? I'd like to know what a five-dollar lollipop tastes like.
  • Is it horse-flavored?
  • It is snowing like hell here, and I'm all out of otter bile. Damn.
  • Which reminds me, WHERE ARE OUR OTTER BILE SHIRTS!?
  • You know, TUM could make a TUM, er, ton of money making and selling those. Ralph, do you need the otter bile for some kind of snow abatement/ice melt, or is just that you don't want to go out in said snow to get more life-giving otter bile?
  • we oughta farm otters.... i have a lemon tree in my back yard for scenting the bile.
  • While on most days I would risk my life to obtain an adequate supply of quality otter bile, today is the day that I bugger my horse. So you can see the predicament I am in.
  • Send the horse for the bile. "Ah, you won't go? No buggering for you!"
  • How can you have any pudding if you don't eat yer meat?
  • I WANT THAT SHIRT TOO!! TUM- WHAT THE HELL DO WE HAVE TO DO TO GET YOU TO ACT? THINK OF THE FAME; THINK OF THE WEALTH; THINK OF THE ORPHANS!!!
  • Is that horse running from or towards the buggery?
  • I think he's just looking to the otter for moral support.
  • That graphic makes me laugh and laugh. I seriously would buy a t-shirt of the original otter bile label.
  • I think the little lemon in the corner is what makes me the happiest.
  • More horseplay gone wrong...

    Hey, TUM, what can we do about making them shirts?
  • I can send you the full-size pics to print on iron-on paper.
  • Yeah, or you could just make the damned shirts!
  • actually, if you could send me the full-size graphics files to the email in my profile, I could actually get the t-shirt ball rolling...
  • Yeah!
  • Done and done!
  • Thank you TUM. Future generations will revere your graven image.
  • i didn't get anything?
  • Just resent.
  • still nothing. did you take the "no spam" bits out of my email address?
  • Er, no. Will do.
  • mail received! updates to follow.
  • trauma inflicted, thanks, homo. oh, and about the shirts- they're unfortunately on hold, the art work is not big enough to print on a shirt.... TUM and I are exploring options.
  • Monkeyfilter: trauma inflicted, thanks, homo.
  • Does it come in lemon scent?
  • Moo!
  • Moo! Take Two!
  • Police chief Alvaro Cassio dos Santos said: “We estimate he killed around four hundred cows in the last four years." Wait -- what? How hard is he doing it? Or is he killing them to keep them quiet?
  • (You have no idea how happy it makes me to see this in the side-bar again...)
  • If you Moo I will rip your tongue out and sell it to a Jew- ish deli.
  • Man Charged with Having Sex with Rabbit... Admittedly, it's one solution to Australia's rabbit overpopulation problem.
  • Oops -- my bad -- didn't see that was a story from 2005. Still -- it's Friday, and there's more to read about it here.
  • Was it a jackrabbit by chance? *quietly hits head on desk*
  • *calls upon Frith to gnaw upon smt*