February 06, 2005

My addicted son. A father's story in the NY Times Magazine about dealing with his son's crystal methamphetamine addiction.

Reminded me an awful lot of this article. That issue of the Times is still lying next to my bed. I know someone else already posted this on the blue; regardless, everyone should read this. Someone on MeFi also posted the son's own 1999 Newsweek "My Turn" article for added perspective.

posted by Mfpb 2 21 19 years ago
  • "Link from Mfpb 2 21" again... ARGH. I give up.
  • What these articles bring home is the distressing feeling you experience when you know someone you love is completely strung out and almost nothing you do will make any difference. They need to beat the monkey (did I say that here?) by themselves first. Once they make that commitment then you can provide support, which of course is so difficult because you never know just how far to go with the whole "tough love" thing. I think that varies by the strength of the addict, which is partly innate and partly varies depending upon where they are in their recovery. All in all, a chilling article.
  • There was a great article in The Advocate recently about a couple's struggle with one partner's meth addiction. Also an excellent read about a terrible drug that seems to be taking off again.
  • When my best friend announced he was doing heroin, I looked at him and thought, "You're a dead man". Two years later he was. I feel nothing for junkies now. They either get their shit together on their own, or they die. I don't care why someone's a junkie, because it doesn't change anything, and I won't go to their funerals.
  • moneyjane: I know the feeling. A friend of mine has been a junkie for the greater part of a decade. His family has spent everything they had trying to make him better (keep him in rehab/out of jail). Bankruptcy made them realize that only he could work it out. They still love him, but they can't force him to be better.
  • Boxer George Chuvalo lost three sons to heroin addiction, and lost his wife to suicide caused by their sons' deaths.
  • The lowest point of my life, I was living with a raging alcoholic (not a junkie, but an addict nonetheless ... maybe worse because it's legal, and drinking is socially acceptable, even socially enforced ... but I digress). Even once they've realized they need to stop, and have started changing their attitudes, there's still the anxiety, the waiting for inevitable relapses, wondering if it could get worse, if I should leave, where would I go. You feel sympathy because they have no control, but at the same time rage at the selfish, destructive behavior. At this point in my life I have no sympathy for addicts who aren't at least trying to exorcise their demons.
  • You will find no new lands, you will find no other seas. The city will follow you. You will roam the same streets. And you will age in the same neighbourhoods, and you will grow grey in these same houses. Always you arrive in this same city. Do not hope for any other -- There is no ship for you, there is no road. As you have destroyed your life here in this little corner, you have ruined it in the entire world. ---- Constantine Cavafy, from "The City", trans Rae Daben