February 06, 2005
DO YOU LOVE COSTCO AS MUCH AS I DO?
Ok Monkies, Your task is this: Find the most amusing, interesting, or bizarre internet personals you can. And then post them in here.
I know there are other craigslist junkies out there, or maybe you just like to read Springstreet personals at work to pass the time (suuure). Whatever it is, let's have some innocent fun with the odder, and, well, dumber sides of the dating game. Oh, and in case anyone thought the COSTCO personal was too ridiculous to actually be real, it is. She's often posted before.
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This is a bad idea.
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"If things go right I might be showing her my O-face"
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this one isn't particularly amuzing, bizarre, or interesting, but it's shockingly bad.
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That's "Mister" motherfucking Exciting to you horny parakeet and pastor-lovin' mini-bitches!
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I hadn't seen this one before, but maybe my knowledge of the internet-dating-wackiness is just undeveloped. There is a personal ad wedged in the crazy: "Sometime I want to know what it is like to be around with a girl (18 to 40)." If you follow the link he gives, it's the same thing, only longer, and even harder to follow.
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Some interesting ones, although not quite as crazy as the aforementioned Costco fan. wussies will NOT be tolerated. Some girls don't like to wear tank tops. We need to get along, that's about it.
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Am I the only one who thinks the strangest thing about the first post is that her favorite book is On The Road and her favorite thing is CostCo?
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Incurable romantic seeks
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If only for the phrasing in the headline: DO you want ur pussy ate? - 23"
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What does this even mean? im vgl wm for must be beautiful girl only- no older than 25
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The problem with craigslist personals is that they eventually expire, particularly in the case of the deranged "casual encounters" ones (or, um, so I've heard). This thread will soon be littered with broken links. I'd recommend that folks posting links to CL ads include the text in their post.
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Some people have really specific tastes: Seeking a japanese guy with a loft in downtown - 28 Note: ethnicity is not enough, you must have an accent.
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Ha. There is a warning before you can enter the m4m part of craig's list. unless all of the following 4 points are true, please use your "back" button to exit this part of craigslist: 1. I am at least 18 years old. 2. I understand men seeking men may include explicitly sexual content. 3. I am not bothered by explicitly sexual content. 4. By clicking on the men seeking men link below, I will have released and discharged the providers, owners and creators of this site from any and all liability which may arise from my use of the site.
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The reason for that disclaimer is because most of the posts on the M4M section resemble this one: Looking for BOYHOLE + COCKSUCKER This whole thread is very NSFW, by the way.
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This one is almost poetic: throbbing man pussy needs pounding - 46 Then there is this saga: straight - 24 Reply to: anon-58617182@craigslist.org Date: 2005-02-06, 8:54AM PST simple enough, girlfriends gone and i'm strapped. I haven't come since Monday and you like a fat dick in your mouth. Let's figure this out.... ** WARNING** straight - 24 los angeles" IS A PHONIE! LIES LIKE A MF Reply to: anon-58620718@craigslist.org Date: 2005-02-06, 9:06AM PST he will write you poetry and tell you his gf or roommate is leaving soon......he's full of shit! Or how about this also from the m4m section as well: I need a five page paper on Bush's social security reform - 29 Reply to: anon-58611056@craigslist.org Date: 2005-02-06, 7:24AM PST Looking for someone to write a paper on Bush's social security reform I will need it to be five pages with a couple of quotes. also will have to show the pros and cons. am willing to pay good money for it. if you can write it, let talk.
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Bitter, unsuccessful middle aged loser wallowing in an unending sea of inert, drooping loneliness looking for 24 year old needy leech-like hanger-on to abuse with dull stories, tired sex and Herb Alpert albums.
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I just gotta say...'grils' like me get so hot and wet at the thought of a dart being inserted... it gets weirder...
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um, squidranch? " Small lumpy squid monkey seeks healthy woman with no identifying scars, any age. Must have all limbs. Recommend appreciation of high-pitched, screeching noises. Must like being bored and lonely. Must not touch the squids, EVER. "
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Bitter, unsuccessful middle aged loser wallowing in an unending sea of inert, drooping loneliness looking for 24 year old needy leech-like hanger-on to abuse with dull stories, tired sex and Herb Alpert albums. Can I recycle that one?
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Best one I ever saw was in a singles newspaper in Detroit. It began, "Swarthy Greek with 'back hair' seeks..." It didn't matter what followed. (Yes, it had the quotes around "back hair." Like it wasn't really back hair, but a luxurious rug.)
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The ads that rxreed linked to are very funny--but, alas, they're meant as jokes. That takes a little of the magic out of them.
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ugly but quidnunc kid seeks britney spears for fun, friendship, hot buttery love pumping, motorcycle repair. Must have own phobia of umbrellas.
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In general, it may be best to avoid ads that couple umbrellas and sex.
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I'm actually afraid of umbrellas - shadow makers! - but less so the humble parasol, "against the sun". Or such is my limited understanding. Strange that neither name references the rain.
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roryk: That reminds me of a story my best friend told me of his first drunken night in Prague. He ended up in a shady strip club and, being this american, he got forced into getting on the stage with a ballon in his mouth. .....which was then popped by a woman who shot a dart out of her hoo-hoo. From about 15 feet away. It's absolutely insane, but I'd pay to see a video of that feat.
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MonkeyFilter: Note: ethnicity is not enough, you must have an accent Vy dos dis zeem zo right?
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Strange that neither name references the rain. Buy a French one, a "parapluie" ("against rain"). It will also probably have a duck on the end of the handle, which is not only a rain joke but a pun on "cane". ("Canne" = "cane", but also "duck".) I might not know this if I had a different surname.
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Hey, is that forksy?