of no fixed subtitle
December 29, 2004
Need to poo?
16 years ago
I can vouch for the Asheville Chamber of Commerce Building - great place to poop. Very quiet.
Wot has happened? Wot a terrible plight the hapless traveller finds himself in! O where are the public toilets of Turkmenistan?
They're an 'ole in the ground, lad.
Either that or you get the very latest in front-wall, fresh-air orifices combined with a wide-capacity gutter installation below.
I'm sure this has been posted here
but it deserves a re-run. The most impressive and unexpected public loo I've ever had the pleasure of crapping in was in Glenelg, a beach suburb of Adelaide. An unassuming little building in a grassy park behind the beach, it was a temple of hi-tech sanitary efficiency. When one opened the door, lights and fans came on and several prominent signs announced the fact that upon completion of business, the interior of the facility would be automatically sprayed, cleansed and otherwise sanitized, without human intervention. Most impressive and a little scary, given the time limit on occupancy. Australia was also the first place I encountered the two-button flush, one for liquids and the other, more robust, for solids.
Need a shit? Then look at the lit!
Want a crap? Check the map!
Where do you think I'm posting this from?
God bless the wireless network
Got some waste? We have it traced!
Feel a contraction? We have exaction!
Kudos to the author in having the courage to go into the
Washington Square Public Toilet
, a place that, ordinarily, you would only consider if you have the worst dysentery imaginable. For those of us old enough to remember the days before Starbucks, the Washington Square toilet, and the fifth circle of hell marked by the crappers at the NY Public Library, the Port Authority, Penn Station and Grand Central Station were all you had available to you if you found yourself in need of taking an emergency dump while walking around the city. Starbucks has been a godsend. Whatever you think of their coffee, Starbucks's proliferation throughout Manhattan had a happy consequence of placing readily available and relatively sanitary public toilets throughout the city.
Need to squirt? We have the dirt!
Nostril, you on amphetamines? There's no stopping you!
Got soil? We've got the good oil!
Oh, Wolof! I weep...
Got to make some deposits? We know water closets!
it's actually become a challenge now to keep coming up with them...
My name is Poo. How do you do?
OK Wolof. You live only because I love J.C.
Got diarrhea? We know a shitter that's near ya!
Oh what have I wrought?!
Want to go doo-doo? We know more than you do!
Got to make cack? We'll keep you on track!
Someone should make an applet for Palm OS to track crapper proximity and quality.
Drop the kids at the pool? Here's one that's by you!
Take a nice big crap right here on this map!
no, NO not the actual . . gimme that!
Need a shite? Our porcelain's white!
Got a case of the runs? Stop clenching your buns!
I Sense A Disturbance In My Ass
Gotta move the colon? Here's where you roll in!
Need to drop a log? We'll help you find the bog!
Laying a cable, oh Anne of Green Gable?