September 17, 2004

• that's what you get for eating a cereal called Peace! stick with Cap'n Crunch, nick. (that's pretty amusing, actually...)
• I can't see that picture, but you mean, this man? He sure looks evil to me. Fraud, assault, abuse, yada yada. Sounds pretty much like every other religion to me.
• I tend to trust the Rick Ross people. Not because I am cynical, but because their information on the cults I am familiar with is more or less accurate.
• Oh, that's not the worst about him. I hear -- and I haven't verified the sources on this -- that he's after me Lucky Charms.
• My god, middleclasstool, you honestly made me Laugh Out Loud, I didn't think it was possible.
• Nostril, that photo has some nice lighting. Very moody ;-)
• "..nice lighting. Very moody ;-)" And to think I arbitrarily got it from Google image search! Let us thank Sevak Singh, who appears to be the photographer. I was expecting something like the Orange People. They used to live near me.
• I've been noticing a lot of unusual cereal brands lately. Like this one, which purports to take its formula directly from the Bible. (Never mind that the reason for eating this mixture of grains was, in fact, a punishment.)
• OK, there are bigger issues than the man on the face of the box. Not ONE of their cereals is marked Atkins friendly!!! Think of the Carbs, man! Think of the Carbs!!!!
• I'm sticking to Cheerios.
• I'm sticking to Cheerios. Ah, it was a good 10 years before I could eat cheerios again. You see one day, at the tender age of 9, I was busy eating a bowl of Cheerios. Our parents did not let us get sugar-saturated cereals. Naturally, we kids tried to make our own chocolate-frosted sugar bombs by heaping steep spoonfuls of sugar on our rather benign cereal. This, in hindsight, is where I think Clive came from. Clive? Yes, halfway through my sugar-drenched Cheerios breakfast, when the individual Os had enough milk between them to float about like miniature tan life-preservers, a small guest popped up within one of the holes. I call him Clive. Even if I hadn't already been in a nautical mindset, Clive aided the illusion by waving his "arms" frantically as if he'd just fallen off the S.S. Blattella Germanica. I did not finish my cereal, Clive presumably drowned before being eliminated by the garbage disposal, and I quite illogically refused to go near Cheerios until college. Ironically, now my favourite cereal is Multi-grain Cheerios, but I buy it only when it's on sale.
• Ew. I don't think I would ever eat cereal again if that happened to me.
• I'm not at all surprised that crazy cult leaders would align themselves with raisins.
• Bah, BearGuy, that's nothing. I once managed to drink an entire colony of ants, destroying their precious floating city built utop the container of grape juice I had left out the night before. I remember looking in the jar as I was drinking it and thinking "that's odd, I've never seen grape seeds that looked like that before", and somehow, in my still-inebriated hungover state failed to make the connection that there were literally HUNDREDS OF THEM in juice before I drank it. It was actually the crunching that made me realize. And I still love grape juice. I can see what those ants liked about it, that stuff is goddamndelicious.
• So does Turkmenbashi have a cereal? If so, we should definitely order 1,828 boxes of it.
• "Clive presumably drowned before being eliminated by the garbage disposal.." No, no. He didn't drown. Clives are known for their very efficient survival abilities. However, the blades of the garbage disposal would most likely have done the job, I'd wager. I have no Clives in my house. My Magic Chicken eats them all.
• Never was a cornflake girl Thought that was a good solution Hangin with the raisin girls
• speaking of cereal, i'm eating some right now with milk that may or may not be bad. actually it's a combination of soymilk and half-and-half. does that generally taste kind of sour? thanks.
• it doesn't smell sour. god, i'm bored.
• I like Peace cereal, primarily because it's tasty and it's at least a dollar cheaper that more mainstream cereals. Banana Nut is my fave! I also rather enjoy the fact that the entire inside of the box is utilized to spread their ideaology and/or show you some nifty yoga positions. Peace cereal completes my religious wingnut morning after I shower with this soap.
• but, kimdog, is soymilk kind of sour? am i poisoning myself by eating it? sour milk, i mean, not soymilk.
• MonkeyFilter: The Crunching Makes you Realise. MonkeyFilter: Are We Poisoning Ourselves? MonkeyFilter: It Doesn't Smell Sour.
• Jaypro, I tried some of that cereal due to there being a lack of no other breakfast foodstuffs in the house, and believe me, it is punishment.
• i mean, sour cream is sour, right? isn't that just... soured cream?
• oh! did you know this guy's name is really Coco Crisp? i didn't believe my sweetie when he told me that one.
• Man, Ian, I'm guessing you got more than your fair share of folic acid with that fortified grape juice. I'm a cranberry juice kinda guy myself. My grandad was a cranberry farmer. And btw, the ants go for the Ocean Spray in a big way, let me tell ya.
• this guy's name is really Coco Crisp? Okay, I haven't said it in this thread yet, so here goes: The theological implications are staggering. Personally, I still don't believe it. *Goes off to corner baseball fan in the office.
• Yeah, there's a Milton Bradley, too, my own favorite. I'm bored too. Someone do a funny dance for me. I think it's safe to say that this thread derailed a long time ago, so I'll just ask it here: any monkeys ever make stained glass? I'm thinking of trying it out as a hobby. Seems like it would be relaxing. Anyone here with experience/guidance? And yes, I've googled every stained and art glass site on the interweb.
• better yet, any monkeys eat stained glass for breakfast?
• and yogurt, i think that's like spoiled milk too.
• oh and here's a funny dance for you mid.
• Thank you, animated gif sock monkey people! And thank you, SideDish! Not sure about sour cream, but yogurt is made from bacterial cultures, IIRC. As long as the milk isn't reeking or chunky, you should be okay.
• monkeyfilter: reeking or chunky hey, aren't those types of peanut butter?
• hey, aren't those types of peanut butter? Yes, but "Jif: Smooth and Reeking" was pulled off shelves faster than you can say Crystal Pepsi.
• Cereal Characters
• Want to know what yogurt is made from? Ask Earl.
• My god, what have I done?
• Don't worry Nick, it's all connected to a weird religious cult. Hey, wait a minute, that would be all the more cause to worry! AUGH! *Runs for the hills.
• kimdog You know, I didn't even look inside the box before I threw it away? Damnit, now I'm going to have to send another 5 bucks to Yogi Bhajan just to satisfy my curiosity.
• BearGuy You fool! The hills are filled with reiligious cults!
• And they also have eyes.
• Nickdanger is right. Our only option these days is the moon or my cardboard fort, reiligious bastards....
• Holy crap, I just realized that Mr. Reil has a cute daughter who's 3 blocks away from me. schwing
• Jeez, Nick, then I guess you didn't find the prayer cloth prize that comes in every box, either. Five bucks!? That stuff is $2.99 at the grocery in my neighborhood and they carry all the flavors (which is why I am so intimately familiar with Yogi Bhanji). Sidedish, I would never let soy milk touch my lips. Blech. Although whole milk is gross in an entirely different way. I'll just stick to my 1%.
• this reminds me of the bagels my wife saw at sam's club, advertising another weird cult. she wanted to buy some until i pointed out that they were W.W.J.D. brand. she dropped them like they burned her hand.
• Vanilla soy milk tastes good, but it gives me wicked gas. Last year's National League Rookie of the Year was a guy named Pujols (pronounced "Poo Holes").
• And he may be this year's NL MVP. The Cards are 14.5 games in front in the Central, and so far the winningest team this season. Pujols is a HUGE reason why.
• I don't know if Count Chocula is a cult leader, but you gotta admit the man's got it goin' on.
• *Being pulled into religious cult's lair by grasping hands. Augh! Save yourselves, other monkeys! Get off me, zealots! *Flings last bananas before disappearing under hill.
• Kevin Mensch (of the Rangers) has a pretty normal name, but people call him "Shrek" because he has a gi-normous head. (I kind of think he's a cutie.)
• More than "Clive" found in Cheerios boxes. What is it with cereal and religion?
• THE HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILLS ARE ALIIIIIIIIIIIVE WITH THE SOUND OF DANCING SOCK-PUPPET RELIGIOUS CULTISTS AND BANANAS THEY HAVE FLUNG PLUS SOME RANCID MIIIIIIIIILK
• Count Chocula used to wear a Star of David around his neck on the cereal boxes until someone noticed and complained, rolypolyman. Evidently his was a Jewish vampire cult which thrived on over-sugared 'food' and corrupted our youth by encouraging manic behaviour.
• This is totally pointless and off topic, but when I saw the name of the group '3HO', I thought, 'why is it called 'ZNO' in Russian?
• Nickdanger (1) - If you sell cereal and milk separately, I will bid! Otherwse, it will get soggy.
• Bananas to Bearguy for the taglines. A Monkey after my own heart. Oooohhhh, dancing sock monkeys. Gotta go.
• the making of stained glass items is totally fun and people are generally impressed with you and your mad artsy skillz. Go for it.
• Wait, frogs, Sam's Club sells bagels under the "What Would Jesus Do" name? *mind boggles, multiple times*
• Thanks for the response, ilyadeux. I'll get to work on recreating Notre Dame right away (next round of classes down the street starts early next month).
• I'm sure everyone already knows this, but the very existence and history of American breakfast "cereal" is about wacky cults, often religious.
• This is totally pointless and off topic *looks around* did you say topic?
• (a) graham crackers (which are kinda like breakfast cereal) were created to keep women from masturbating. (b) stained glass appeals to those with an engineering bent of mind, frequently. So, hope you like it. :)
• yes tracicle, they do. and it bothers me more than seeing mcdonald's sell breakfast bagels with bacon on every damn one of them. they also sell W.W.J.D. tortilla shells. it's just weird, i guess. What Would Jesus Do? probably not try to make money off of his name, i would think. guess the followers didn't get that part of the message.
• MonkeyFilter: *Mind Boggles Multiple Times* MonkeyFilter: Totally Pointless and Off-Topic Also, the less popular MonkeyFilter: Created To Keep Women From Masturbating
• Not that EVERYONE thinks he's TOTALLY discredited himself quite yet. Even Amy Goodman of Democracy Now has only a sad and pained expression when she reports some new betrayal-like shenanigans of that guy most everyone here trusted so much... Oh, wait. We were only talking about some OTHER cult figure? Oops I'm DOOMED now
• Awesome! There IS no guru.
• WHAT was the original topic of this thread? *zooms up* Oh, yeah, that's why I eat home-made granola. If I prefer nuts, I can choose my own.
• Where the hell is nickdanger nowadays?
• New Mexico. Oh wait.