July 20, 2004

The official rules for calling 'Shotgun' in an automobile.

The term "Shotgun" refers to the front passenger seat of an automobile. "Calling Shotgun" is the act of claiming the position of Shotgun for one's self. As this position is the most coveted of all positions when riding in a car, this list of rules has been created to ensure that Shotgun can be acquired in a fair and equitable manner by any passenger of an automobile.

  • That's easy. Wife/husband/girlfriend/boyfriend of the driver gets shotgun, unless they don't want it.
  • I always get that seat. Even when it's not my car. Telling people that I get car sick and might barf in their neck when I'm in the back seat works 100% of the time. Too bad that it's actually true, and I sometimes get it when I'm in the shotgun seat as well. Occasionally I even get car sick when I drive... but only after driving an hour or more on winding roads.
  • At least where I come from, you must call shotgun to and frow or you do not automatically get shotgun on the return trip (also we mandated that is was "to and f'n frow" and not just frow). I must add that very often as the tallest person in my group of friends I get shotgun out of this "politeness" thing they seem to practice. Weirdos.
  • My friends and I used to dialogue (orthodox Jew-style) about the rules of shotgun. "The best way to obtain shotgun is to do so without ever having to call it." "Ah -- but what if your calling reminds others of the position's value. Is it not better, then, to -- in fact -- call it?"
  • They miss out the extended ruleset. Once someone has called shotgun, another person can trump their claim by calling shotgun themselves, and dropping their trousers/skirt to their ankles. The original shotgun caller (and only him/her) can challenge this new claim by dropping their trousers/skirt to their ankles, and from there it's a hobbling race to touch the door handle first. Best performed in busy public places, naturally.
  • I'm sorry, rodgerd... girlfriend? ...wife? I don't understand. These concepts are quite foreign to my friends and me. Could it be that the spectacle of four 25 year old guys arguing over who gets to sit in the front seat is likely to diminish our chances of acquiring female companions or potential mates?
  • If there's ever a question of who gets shotgun, it's usually settled by a race to the car to see who can get it open first and sit in the seat. At least that's how we settle things.
  • I don't think so, Wedge. But the failure of the driver to override his friends with the declaration that the lass he's trying to impress gets the front seat surely will.
  • If many people call shotgun at once, it's a race to see who can touch the car first. That's how my brothers-in-law and I play the game. For some reason, I get relegated to the back seat in my own car otherwise.
  • Tracicle, how do you drive like that?
  • While Tracicle is uploading picutres of her backseat driving, man, this brings back memories. I used to beat my brother to shotgun all the time, so--after reading some stats on car crash fatalities--he derisively started calling it "the death seat" which he really didn't want anyway. (These were the days before airbags). Strangely, I haven't had to worry about shotgun for at least 5 years. Maybe I'm just not friends with any gapers.
  • BBF, I think the pants rule is a necessary addition. That way you've got to prove how much you want it. And you entertain me in the process, which is of course the most important point here.
  • The term "Shotgun" refers to the front passenger seat of an automobile. "Calling Shotgun" Damn Wedge, I thought you were passing out bong hits. *Goes to another thread in anger*
  • Gosh, I have never witnessed neither calls nor fights for shotgun. On top of that, I prefer the backseat. I feel like I'm missing something in my life.
  • BearGuy's comment reminded me of an important strategy that I used to employ on occasion: devaluing the importance, utility, and prestige of riding shotgun... as well as shaming and deriding the potential shotgun rider himself. If done correctly, the poor sap will just head for the backseat by the time you reach the car... because at that point, he not only doesn't want to be called 'baby' anymore; but by then sitting in the front seat, he will have reaffirmed his stubborn 'babyness' in front of everyone and he'll feel like a jackass for the whole car ride. And that's when you strike... during his uncertain moment of introspection. A dastardly childish ruse, to be sure... however, it's preferable to sitting 'bitch'.
  • Hmm, on considering Wedge's and others' comments on potentially cut-throat shotgun competitions, I think my relatively benign shotgun experiences come from the fact that I never really engaged in 'shotgun battles' outside of family trips--and our parents would have opened a can of Norwegian whoop-ass on us all if we started getting out of control.
  • What does Norwegian whoop-ass taste like?
  • mmmmm...fishy
  • MonkeyFilter: A race to see who can touch the car first. MonkeyFilter: Uploading pictures of backseat driving. MonkeyFilter: Tastes like Norwegian whoop-ass.
  • oh, and what MCS said.
  • What does Norwegian whoop-ass taste like? Norwegian whoop-ass sort of tastes like an unholy union between goat cheese and lutefisk. It's hard to ever get used to. MonkeyFilter: Opening a can of Norwegian Whoop-ass on us all.
  • Monkeyfilter: It's preferable to sitting 'bitch' Not bad, but Zemat says it best: Monkeyfilter: I feel like I'm missing something in my life.
  • I dunno, I'm partial to Monkeyfilter: mmmmmmmm, fishy! myself.