August 20, 2010

Is My Husband GAY? Handy tips to tell if your husband is a homersekshual, like: does he go to Asia too often, or does he enjoy pop culture a little too much, or is he feigning interest in Church-going? He might just be that way!

Brought to you by ChristWire, home to other useful information including "The Fag Hag: How a Girl’s Misguided Friendship Choices Can Lead to a Lifetime of Loneliness" and "Vatooing, New Freshmen Female Trap For Upstanding College Men. Caution, open liquid containers near your computer may constitute a hazard, as may drinking while reading this crap.

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  • Where's the pamphlet if he is? Oh hope me Christwire!11eleventy!!
  • Homosexuality is a choice. You can't just change your opinion on that.
  • The whole site has got to be a joke, right? A big tongue in cheek joke. Right? "sarcastic and ironic around his friends"... oh noes, I must have teh ghey too :-
  • Rethink that, flurker. Homosexuality is an opinion. You just can't change your choice on that. Cheezebaby! Missed you. *air kisses* How'z it hanging? Fergot your html there pardner? Here ya go: Obama TT: Obviously this site is deadly serious and they're trying to warn us--If our young men don't already have teh gay, those shaved, oiled, and vattooed, buffed, shined, and vadazzled young sluts will scare them into it! Just the other day I got another of those damn emails about Obama's birth certificate being top secret because he was born in Africa/Germany/Hell. Jebus Cripple on a purple pogo stick, when will it end? Are some of my friends really that stupid, or do they hit the forward button without reading this shite? The only good thing is that these same people don't know what a BCC or the delete key is, so they leave the last 2000 forwarding addresses in their mail, and I can sign everybody up to receive democratic/liberal websites/the Onion as well as using an anon email to berate them with my swears for not knowing how to use email correctly.
  • Sadly, ChristWire really does take itself seriously. To me, it comes across as if The Weekly World News got raped by Sarah Palin and had a crack baby and went on the 700 Club to tell everyone about it. What's worse is just how many people actually think this is- A: reasonable, B: The Lord's Gospel, and C: words to live by.
  • "...when the buzz of chlorine and vodka cranberries wears off, she may find her only heterosexual companionship in the form of a latex blow-up doll whose chest hair is far too rubbery to ever emulate that rough edge of manly passion that so many truly crave." I'm still not sure this isn't all just a brilliant/sad joke. The gay husband article was studded with Google Ads for: "Find GLBT local businesses", "Browse local singles", "Gay Christians", "Gay Chat", "Gay Singles". I think it might be an example of clever "traffic building by outrage" a.k.a. trollism.
  • This CANNOT be for real. Please, just, no.
  • I think they forgot the part about closeted husbands being so confused about their bath and grooming choices. On the one hand, you have shower gel--pleasantly scented, nice on the skin, easy to use. On the other slippery hand, there's traditional soap. Perplexing decisions.* *This comment is in poor taste and plays upon stereotypes of homosexual people. It may reveal some inner conflict/prejudice of my own concerning the subject, or it may just be a piss-take of the same variety as the original post. You may be the judge.
  • Folks, this is definitely a joke site along the lines of Landover Baptist Church. Evidence: Mexican Swine Flu Is Still A Zombie Threat, More Proof It's sorta funny that the noisy conservative extremists are so zany that it's hard to tell if things like this are parodies or not. I thought for about a year after looking at Conservapedia that that Conservapedia was a mere jest. Honestly. Googling "christwire" also turns up some Yahoo Answers links. Two of them say it's spoof and one says it's real but simply gets some crazy stuff thrown in by trolls trying to make them look even worse. None has hard proof. But I'd have to guess that a real, non-ironic site woul try to be getting rid of any articles like "Mexican Swine Flu Is Still A Zombie Threat", "Judge Susan Bolton Illegally Blocks Part of Arizona Anti-Mexican Immigration Law", etc. But they're all still there. Instead of "Mod up or mod down" or "thumbs up or thumbs down" for moderating comments in their comment sections, they have "praise or condemn". This article, too, reads exactly like something from
  • It's sorta funny extremely frightening that the noisy conservative extremists are so zany effing insane that it's hard to tell if they believe things like this are parodies or not. There, FTFY
  • Upon further research, yes, ChristWire would seem to be an elaborate piece of satire.
  • Actually, now that I get it, it is quite funny, in an Onion sort of way... Japan Clones Christopher Walken
  • As some of the folks in es el Queso's first link observe, this is an instance of Poe's Law in action. I Googled Poe's Law to find out what it is. I learned that it is that any sufficiently funny parody of stupidity will inevitably be mistaken for the real thing, whereas the extremes of the real thing are inevitably mistaken for parody. Hilariously, Conservapedia has an article on Poe's Law. Turns out, "Poe’s Law is an attempt at effective liberal internet satire". Also, "leading evolutionists generally no longer debate creation scientists because creation scientists tend to win the debates.[5]"
  • So both Poe's Law and Conservapedia are examples of Poe's Law? Ironical...
  • Not just ironical, it's IRONISTERICAL!!
  • Not so hard to do that, apparently.
  • The NYT gets to the bottom of it all- it's exPOEnential satire...