of no fixed subtitle
March 31, 2010
Atwood in the Twittersphere
Margaret Atwood's thoughts on being a Tweeter.
12 years ago
I *heart* Margaret Atwood. Lovely link, thank you for sharing islander.
*adds Ms Atwood to twitter contacts*
Oh, just effin' great. Now I'm going to spend the whole day lost in her website. Look what you did! /sarcasm Back when I was a waitress, I once formed a lasting friendship with someone based on the fact that she was sitting at one of my tables reading "The Handmaid’s Tale". Great post, thanks! :) This may finally overcome my massive aversion to all things Twitter.
A lot of people don't realize that Twitter originated with dogs in the 1950's. Dogs used to run around without a leash a lot more in those days. They would often urinate on fire hydrants to let other dogs know what they were doing. Other dogs would then smell the message on the fire hydrant, and then respond with their own. This model of communicating quickly to large groups who could then respond back became the model for Twitter. The name itself also has its origin in the canine world. A woman named Ernestina Bladgel was married to an attorney who was would talk in his sleep a great deal in mostly legal jargon. He frequently would use the phrase "to wit" in his sleep. She began to refer to people who talked in their sleep as "to wit-ers," then "twitters" for short. When Ernestina and her attorney husband, Bromshotz, bought a puppy for their child, she thought that Twitter would be the perfect name for the dog.
Wow! Ernestina Bladgel was my 7th grade Social Studies teacher! And I knew "Twitter" sounded familiar - Mrs. Bladgel used to tell us wonderful stories about him. She said that whenever something major was happening in the world - when Kennedy was shot, for instance - Twitter would whine and paw at the door until someone relented and took him out for a walk. Then he would speed down the street, urinating on every single hydrant, tree, automobile tire and street sign he passed. She said he also exhibited the same behavior whenever there was some sort of celebrity scandal being whispered about. Her biggest regret in life, she always said, was that she had him neutered after only siring one litter. She said he was such a wonderfully communicative dog, she wished his progeny could be spread all over the world as soon as possible, so that everyone could enjoy his idiosyncrasies.
Sadly, Bromshotz Bladgel having revealed a dalliance with a female judge while talking in his sleep by saying that he'd like to "google
tweets", was sued for divorce by Ernestina. Bromshotz turned to drink in his later years and was often seen by the neighbours stumbling down the street, urinating on every single hydrant, tree, automobile tire and street sign he passed. Their son, Bromshotz jr., traumatized by the divorce, his father's behavior and the fact that his mother clearly loved the family dog more than him, grew up to become a notorious online troll and Facebook stalker.
After the devastating divorce, Twitter ran away from home. It is speculated that Bromshotz Jr. found the dog, and locked him in a hot automobile to spite his mother. At any rate, the Twitter stream dried up.
OH, DARNIT!! I meant to tell islander that MA is one of my fav writers and poets. I'm not sure I like that she's wasting her time Twittering though. She should be writing more poetry--stuff like this:
You Fit Into Me You fit into me like a hook into an eye a fish hook an open eye
That's less than 140, and says so much more than anything I've read so far. Even for Atwood and Pratchett, I will not follow Twitter.
If Death or Albert started a twitter page, that I would read.
Atwood on ice.
*applauds* Ya' don't deke Margaret.