January 06, 2010

Send Me Something is a very sparse web site that promises to "Send you something". That's it.

You send them a stamped, addressed envelope. They send it back with something in it. It won't be something worth a lot of money. It won't be cat vomit (they promise). But it will be something. Monkeys: What are the best and worst things they could send you? And what do you think it will actually be? BEST: A photo of my (long gone) grandmother sitting at her sewing machine, in the afternoon sun. WORST: Outstanding speeding tickets from Reno. (I have never been there). ACTUAL: An offer to buy a timeshare condo in Mexico.

  • Best: Winning lottery ticket for over ten grand Worst: Cat vomit, and they sell my info to Capital One and dog food advertisers. Actual: Advertisement for Ginzu knives and Plether coats. OK, who's really going to send them a SASE? Post back, willya?
  • Best: Sea-Monkeys! Worst: Seagull vomit. Actual: An invitation to join the Mormon church.
  • Best: Anonymous Valentine Card well...second best to the afore-mentioned winning lottery ticket, of course Worst: a live Wolf spider crammed into a matchbox (without warning label) Actual: Florida newpaper clipping - 5% rebate coupon for a senior's motorized scooter
  • Best: a job offer to the school of my dreams Worst: a mouldy piece of fruitcake Actual: a letter which says "YOU MAY ALREADY BE A WINNER!!!" with a subscription to Readers Digest
  • Best: an interesting surprise, serially numbered. Worst: letter is not returned. Actual: a pencil drawing, bathroom style, of penis. I'll report back soon.
  • Oooooooh, retrosurf is going to reconnoiter for us!
  • Come on Horsey... I'll do it if you will ! Then we can all compare our somethings. Best:   Real plans to build that machine that Jodie Foster had in that Contact movie. Worst: Fake plans to build that machine that Jodie Foster had in that Contact movie. Actual: The envelope that B.H. sent, mailed over to me, with a note in it saying, "Here, YOU send her something!"
  • I LOLed!!! OK, then I'll send you something back, TT. *looks over pile* gold chain, tomato soup label, Mother's Day card, toenail clippings, $100 bill, maple leaf, stick of gum, fairy dust, new lottery ticket, flounder hmmmm.... Tough decision.
  • Okay, it's away. I was going to send themsomething, but in the rush to get it done, I just got it done. I would have sent a parasite pal.
  • That's supposed to be parasite pal.
  • Nothing yet. I think they're busy.
  • Or they've simply run out of something. No excuses.
  • I sent them some pages from a "daily origami calendar", which fitted into an envelope and were something. Months later and nothing in return for me either. I conclude that the scam is that they simply keep the stamps we send them (or collect our addresses for junk mailings to the gullible) - the web site should have been called "SendMe40cOfUsefulStampsAndWeWillSendYouNothingYouBastards.com".