September 20, 2009

I will not read your fucking script. Really. I will not read it on a dare I will not read it for a scare
  • Let's all send him scripts. Terrible scripts. Plagiarised scripts. Incoherent scripts. Scripts that consist of the unedited archives of Monkeyfilter. Scripts with Cardinal Richelieu as a glove puppet. And let all the covering letters say "I saw your wonderful piece in the Village Voice and I knew you were right for my script..."
  • I didn't read his fucking article.
  • Pleg, I have a script. Would you read it for to me?
  • *BIG grin* Pleg. Especially unedited Monkeyarchives ♪♫♪Daisy Daisy Give me your answer do♪♫
  • Ah, come on, guys,the unsolicited script submitters are asking this writer to be their unpaid agent, in a way. His investment of his income-producing time in unpaid script vetting is unreasonable, and I'm under the impression that he gets enough requests to get justifiably angry about. I'd feel the same way if some stranger asked me to do their taxes for free because they found out I'd worked as an accountant, or, knowing that I have a daugher, asked me to baby sit their kids.
  • Easy, just have your daughter do their taxes!
  • My daughter, who is an artist, gets too many requests for "draw me this!" or Could you go out and photogaph that?" "Or could you design me a web page?" for either of us to find that last comment witty.
  • As path said, I get many requests. Only once in a while is someone seriously engaging me for paid work. Most of the requests I get are along the "do this for me for free!" lines. If I refuse, I'm a stuck-up bitch with a swelled head, and obviously don't really have the skills I claim I do. Or if they've seen samples of my work, then suddenly something that impressed them a moment before "isn't really all that." Consequently, this is something of a button for me, and I was gonna stay out of it rather than get ranty. But here's the thing: Creative artists of any stripe are not your bitch. Not one of us. We do not owe you access to our years of experience, knowledge, and skill-building gratis. We are not obligated to spend the time we could be earning a living to instead "give an honest opinion" to someone we just met on their work, especially when what those people are usually looking for is not an honest critique, but to be told how wonderful we think they and their work are. We are not your editor, your agent, your "in" to get published or put in a gallery. It's bad enough when someone I've known a long time wants me to do something for them without any remuneration. But when it's friends of friends, or even complete strangers, who seem to think that they have the right to not just ask, but demand I work for them for free, it's incredibly rude and insulting. I have long been of the opinion - and path was trying to point this out more gently - that people feel free to do this with artists because somehow it's not regarded as "real" work, as opposed to something like accounting, finance, and other more "serious" business. There is very much an attitude when I get these requests that implies the requester thinks that I'm just indulging in some kind of personal hobby rather than doing a job of work, so why shouldn't I do for them what I do for myself? The skills of creative artists of any kind did not spring, Athena-like, fully-formed from the brow of Zeus. We put years of work into doing what we do. Anyone can pick up a pencil and doodle, or sit at a keyboard and string words together. The ability to do it well does not appear magically out of thin air. It takes years of practice, of work and dedication, to get really good. It's not easy. If you think it is, sit down and draw your own fucking picture and edit your own fucking script. Because artists, composers, scriptwriters, authors, etc. are not your bitch and never will be.
  • Scalzi agrees with him and that's all I need to know.
  • Jesus, who are you ranting to??
  • I get what Plegmund is saying, but even we can't access the unedited archives of Monkeyfilter to send to this demigod. At least one comment with a dangerous, lorem ipsum gibberish level hacker link has been removed.
  • Ah well. I'm not really unsympathetic, but perhaps there is an argument that this bloke should grit his teeth and try to take the scripts as a natural effect of his conspicuous success. I don't think Christophine is under any obligation to be nice to people who assume they have free use of her talent.
  • David Gerrold will read your script for $500/hr, and that seems like the most professional response.
  • No one likes an enforced obligation...
  • Oh, you're a doctor. How nice! I have this wart...
  • This is kind of a niche annoyance, right? Famous, connected people with more money than one could reasonably dream of making are whining because n00bs are pestering them about reading their scripts? Well. There is a useful word for this. That word is NO. Member Nancy Regan? Make futile disingenuous slogans from the 80's work for you. Seriously. I know little children with better problems. The worlds tiniest violin....
  • There are two offences here. One is dickishly using thin social connections to try to force free labor. The other is the problem of being underappreciated. It's almost an implied insult: "What you do seems very easy; you are not hardworking, just lucky; now why won't you wave your magic lucky wand over here for me (you selfish bastard)". The problem with saying "No" (or "Pay for it, please") is that it makes you look more selfish. Do bricklayers have this problem? "Hey, you build houses, can you come over on Wednesday and make me a garage for free?". If the work is manual, not mental, people can easily appreciate the effort. I explained to a neighbour my frustration that when I work from home people think I am not actually doing anything. She nodded in agreement, then said, "But since you are here all day could you just baby-sit my kids?".
  • There seems to be an assumption here that the guy has become extremely rich, but it's been my impression that script writers are not all that well paid. And, even if that's not the case, I doubt that a good script is something one can toss off on an afternoon and have accepted without re-writes before shooting starts, and modifications during filming. If he was just to suck it up and read all the scripts submitted, much less give sage advice for improvement, would seriously eat into his time and ability to make a good living. True, he was over the top in his manifesto, but I can understand his frustration It strikes me that assumptions about non-standard occupations, especially those which don't necessarily have to report to the office or are in every day can make us assume that their time somehow isn't as valuable as that of people with "real" jobs. When I posted my earlier comment, I was kind of hoping that this could lead to an old time MoFi discussion of what I see as a disconnect. ThinksTwice said it much better than I did.
  • Housewives. Nuff said.
  • Al-right... I'll read your script!
  • Oh no you won't. It's in the drawer. NO ONE is going to look at it.
  • Hey everyone - BlueHorse has a post in her drawers. Wait, that didn't come out right. NO! I meant....aaaaahhhhh
  • *whacks poly with purse a la Lily Tomlin*
  • INT. HOUSE - NIGHT ANON dressed in a silken smock, jumps startled as a crash sounds at the balcony to her second floor bedroom. The alarm system trips off. ANON runs to her vanity, opens the top drawer. CU of UZI pistol resting on a thick manuscript. *ANON* They'll never take my goddamn filmscript. My years of labor that no one valued just because I'm a housewife. Well... They value it now. But it's too late!
  • Nice, Dan. But it needs more zombies, hookers, Nazis, Mel Gibson and special effects.
  • And cowbell. Can't ever have too much cowbell.