July 31, 2008

Man, that joke is SO old...
  • ... the mice are hunchbacked?
  • "Something which has never occurred since time immemorial; a young woman did not fart in her husband's lap." I don't get it.
  • The double negative means that young women do fart in their husband's laps? That stinks.
  • Why did the pterodactyl cross the glacial plain?
  • Man, that joke is SO old... HOW OLD IS IT?
  • What hangs at a man's thigh and wants to poke the hole that it's often poked before? Answer: A key. I like that joke. I must be old. WAY OLD.
  • Forsooth, Thy matron's girth art of such great rotundity that when she doth seateth herself "around" yon house, she doth be seated "around" yon house indeed!
  • The doctor tells his patient: "Well I have good news and bad news..." The patient says, "Tell me, Doc. What's the bad news?" "You have Alzheimer's disease." "Good heavens! What's the good news?" "You can go home and forget about it! *slaps knee, clacks dentures*
  • It's a joke about queefing, people.
  • So there's this feller, see, an Irish feller, name of Pat O'Mike. Now, Paddy walks into the neighborhood watering hole one day, and he spies his good friend, a Swede named Sven Svendersen. And so Pat goes up to Sven, he goes up to him, see, and he says, "Top of the mornin' to ya, me mate! Sure, and if it ain't as fine a day as you ever did see!" "Ya," says Sven. "Shore is. Vat brings yu to town, Paddy?" "Well, I'll tell you," says Paddy. "I've got a question, so, and the only feller who can answer it is me old mate Sven. Now, can you think of somethin' that hasn't happened since the world began, and the blessed isle of Ireland was pulled form the sea like a shinin' emerald?" "Ya, shore," says Sven. "Ven a vife don't fårt in her hüsband's Lapp."
  • How many ancient Sumerians did it take to screw in an oil lamp? None - ancient Sumerians didn't screw in oil lamps... they screwed in the sand dunes! Bahrrupf.
  • Okay, we need to survey. Can all young wives that have farted in their husband's laps or husband's whose young wives have farted in their laps please say 'yay'. All young wives that have not farted in their husband's laps or husband's whose young wives have not farted in their laps please say 'nay'. [I have no idea what to do with the husband apostrophe here and correspondence will not be entered into]
  • Hey, in those old Sumerian days we had to make our own amusement, you know?
  • Are y'akkadin' me?
  • oog: Uggook brahg otook uuuung ook? bagog: Arrrrgh unk. Urk? ogg: Queef! ogg and bagog: Harf harf harf harf!
  • Mr Knickerbocker, here's a fuller translation of that Anglo-Saxon "key" riddle: A strange thing hangs by man's hip, hidden by a garment. It has a hole in its head. It is stiff and strong and its firm bearing reaps a reward. When the retainer hitches his clothing high above his knee, he wants the head of that hanging thing to find the old hole that it, outstretched, has often filled before.
  • Here's another one: I am a wonderful help to women; a hope of something to come. I harm no citizen except my slayer. Rooted I stand on a high bed. I am shaggy below. Sometimes the beautiful peasant's daughter, an eager-armed, proud woman grabs my body, rubs my red skin, holds me hard, claims my head. The curly-haired woman who catches me fast will feel our meeting. Her eye will be wet. What am I?
  • Heeheehee!
  • kitfisto's favourite root vegetable?
  • Dicks, dicks, dicks.
  • THE ANSWER IS DICKS
  • that's kitfisto's favorite root vegetable?
  • > Her eye will be wet. > What am I? A red onion?