April 15, 2008

'I did heroin once, just to be sociable' Extract from Mark E Smith's autobiography. Enjoy his wedding gift to Marc Riley and views on this and that. Earlier extract here.
  • The genius of Mark E Smith is wasted on you shower of bastards! :p
  • It's true.
  • If he's a genius it doesn't come out in his opinions. He's like that one guy you meet in every pub in the world.
  • I haven't yet been to every pub in the world, but I am free tonight and it sounds like a fine plan.
  • 'I did heroin once, just to be sociable' "I played Russion Roulette once, just to be sociable." "I rode my motorcycle 130 miles per hour on a curvy, back road, just to be sociable." "I wrestled a bear once, just to be sociable."
  • Any other night, Ralph, and I'd take you up on that.
  • "I played Russian Roulette once, just to be sociable." It reduces the number of names of new friends you have to remember. "I rode my motorcycle 130 miles per hour on a curvy, back road, just to be sociable." I once did that to AVOID being sociable. "I wrestled a bear once, just to be sociable." The bear did not agree. Still, all of these examples are demonstrably more reckless and risky than doing heroin ONCE. But by the time you've done it to be sociable three times, it starts to catch up. But then, I once set my hair on fire just to be sociable (so my friends could see me across a crowded room).
  • Guy sounds like a fucking idiot. So do I, though, so it's all good.
  • Most people who try heroin don't like it. Something like one out of ten casual users will actually go on to be addicts. But that just doesn't make for good folklore, does it? The bear-wrassling thing is much more picturesque.
  • History will vindicate Mr Smith and his wit and wisdom! Peons!
  • Mark E. Smith on Newsnight, lauding John Peel. My god, he's exactly like me. I mean I'm exactly like him. That's what I'm like. Except, of course, he's better looking. He's got better teeth than me, too. Plus, of course, he's a successful genius and everything. But in terms of being stone cold ugly and facial tics, everything, that's me. I never paid attention to The Fall when I was in the UK.
  • He's got the look of a full brain pan on him though.
  • I was in a pub with Mark E Smith a while ago. I ignored him because I has a cool. I also tried heroin once. It was rubbish. I'm toying with having a chocolate croissant for brekky though.
  • Banana, toast and orange juice. That is all.