June 28, 2007

"It's like looking at the sun..." Summer is here, and girl-watching season is upon us. And, of course, some guys take it too far. And as a result, find their pictures and stories of street harassment posted on HollabackNYC, or one of the other local sites.
  • HEY CAPT! YOU GOT A PURTY MOUTH!!! *ducks back inside window*
  • Why, thank yo--HEYYYY!
  • Pepper spray, ladies. It works wonders on the creepily overfriendly.
  • But I searched! I really did! And the lame Canadian blog is new, at least...
  • Thanks for the tip, Fes. Works well for you, does it? Seriously, I'd be careful of the situation when using pepper spray. Do it right, WHAAAHOO! Do it wrong, and it could get messy for you or bystanders or both. Doin' the hollaback is ok. "Pussy? Takes one to know one" Juvenile, but satisfying, and sometimes embarrassing among co-wirkers. Asking them if they like someone talking to their mama and sisters with those words will make some back off, and is more classy, but most cat-callers are assholes, and it just makes it worse. The best revenge is if they're on a job site, talk to the boss. XYZ Construction companies HATE getting complaints about women being harassed. They may still call you a pussy, but it won't be where you can hear it! And if it's a repeated offense, he may be looking for another job.
  • First off, I was mugged once and maced in the process- it ain't no party, and doesn't seem like just desserts for a look, or even perhaps a leer. I have seen just as many women stare at a hot, bronzed, toned, shirtless guy and after he walks by they tell me how hot he is. Get over it- seriously. . . people are now afraid to look at others at the risk of offending. Have any of you noticed how many people look at the ground when walking down the street? Does this not bother you? If you are beautiful then you will get looked at- If you are that afraid of what can happen from someone looking at you, then I would recommend you join a convent or lock yourself up in your house.
  • if one feels harassed by some creep on the street just tell [him] "shut up, butt-plug breath!" your harasser will have to stop for a few seconds to think about what you've said, and then they'll be like "EWWWW!"
  • *attempts to adapt insult to local language, laughs, fails* Get over it- seriously... If you are beautiful then you will get looked at- If you are that afraid of what can happen from someone looking at you, then I would recommend you join a convent or lock yourself up in your house. 'You don't want me to look at your girl, wrap her in a burqa'? Mh, no. There are degrees of human contact. It's one thing to stare and admire, another to harass and insult. We guys have it easier, not feeling like meat on the butcher's window all day.
  • When spring comes around I leer at the flowers- there is nothing sexual about it (unless its an orchid). Can't we just appreciate the view without harassing? I think many women assume that when a man is looking at her he is thinking about the 'nasty'- But what about those other people- why can't we appreciate the beauty that is many times abundantly apparent in our female counterparts?
  • Obviously, I don't recommend macing someone for checking you out. The stories recounted, however, tell tales of unwanted hands-on sorts of foolishness. You put your hands on a girl without, you know, an invite? That's a macin'.
  • The last time I was in NYC, I passed a fire station with a knot of the absolute hottest young firemen I had ever seen out front (and NYC fireman seem to run hot in general). I mean, they must have been there to shoot one of those "Hot-Fireman-a-Month" calendars. But their 9/11 plaque kept me from drooling and catcalling.
  • I don't know why but this sort of thing doesn't bother me. Even though I think of myself as a feminist. It was scary when I was younger and felt more vulnerable. Now when they hoot I smile at them and give them the 'you may want it, I'll entertain the thought but you're never going to get it' look. Maybe I'll say " Oh you guys are silly" or something that indicates that I'm taking it as a compliment rather than harassment. For some reason the guys then start to laugh. I think they are a little surprised, maybe a little embarrassed, certainly deflated. A bit of distance is required for that one. I do carry myself in a certain manner, have all my life-it's a combination of 'readable' alertness and pace that has served me well all my life.
  • Oh and what Underpants Monster said. Hotness beyond words.
  • Ummm...I'm a firefighter. Yes. Yes, that's what I am, alright. A firefighter. Funny it didn't come up before now. So...how YOU doin???
  • MonkeyFilter: There are degrees of human contact.
  • Blankey: The older you get, the easier it is to deal with, as you seem to have mentioned. Some guys can be deflated or take themselves with a grain of salt. Trouble is, some don't. With some, a woman could be in a burka, wouldn't matter, the jerks are just out to harass. Ever run into the really rabid disgusting ones that follow you and WON'T back off? It's not fun. It's not funny. It is neither fun or funny. Fooliosis: I don't know you, so I'm making the assumption that you're not trolling. The site is Hollaback. These guys don't just look or ogle, they make lewd and disgusting comments, physically intimidate through size or intrusion into personal space, actually touch a woman unwantedly and inappropriately, or act out a sexual performance, such as masturbation or grabbing their crotch and gyrating. Looking in appreciation is good; acting like a stalker isn't When you're a young woman, a wolf whistle can make you extremely self-conscious. I think a woman's hide ought to be thick enough to be able to stand a wolf-whistle (just because the real assholes out there aren't going to go away, and it helps to be a bit hardened.) AFAIC, a wolf-whistle can be a sign of appreciation, provided the whistler behaves like a gentleman. At 17, I can remember wanting to die of embarrassment at being singled out when a construction worker whistled at me, and when I glanced back, completely shaken, he winked and tipped his helmet. Totally charming! Made us both feel good. Trouble is, NOW they whistle and yell how they'd like to @55#$^2352. Not charming. They get to feel like rabid junkyard dogs, and the girl gets to feel like bait. Show your appreciation. Treat everybody like you'd want your mom/sister/daughter treated. It's good.
  • Public shame. I'm digging it.
  • er as in "liking" not as in internet clicky stuff.
  • Btw, is the fabled rampant plague of woman-harassers on japanese subway trains a reality, or just another media exaggeration, gomi?
  • No it's true unfortunately. That's why a lot of trains now have a women's only carriage during peak hour, and at night. Also there are a range of devices you can carry to shock the perp or make a sound. Personally shouting out "Chikan!" and bending back fingers works for me. [I don't often get harassed because I look like I would kick your head in. Chikans tend to target shy quiet woman who won't raise a fuss.]
  • Before googling "Chikan", I assumed it meant "absent-minded gentleman whose hand loses grasp of his manga book and ends up grabbing someone's leg" : )
  • *leers*
  • Is it just me or is anyone else noticing the seriously hot ladies in this thread? Aaaoooooooooooo... werewolves of London is stuck in my head.
  • Is that my hand in your pocket or am I just happy to see you?
  • THOSE AREN'T PILLOWS!!!!!
  • Thanks, kit. First genuine laugh in a couple days. Completely inappropriate, but a laugh nevertheless.
  • Hey, this is a Bikini Inspector's badge with "Bikini Inspector" crossed out and "Firefighter" written in!
  • I feel all warm inside. Wanna check? *flutters eyelashes*
  • Bluehorse-I don't mean to make light of men who are aggressive harassers. There is a huge difference between sexual banter and threatening behavior (unwanted touching, blocking one's path, men who won't back away, bullies etc.). But the whacking off and the grabbing of the crotch make these guys look like cowardly asshole clowns who are desperate for attention. They just don't affect me anymore.
  • ::leans back, looks disinterested::
  • Blanky: You're hide is tougher than most--being able to ignore a wolf-whistle and catcall is something I think all women should strive for--unfortunately, the creeps aren't ever going away. I'm pretty tough too, but I must admit it would bother me to see a pervo wack off--not so much for me, but I'd think of having to explain to my grand-daughters, and worry about the fear issue of physical threats or intimidation with them. Shout "needle-dick," then point and laugh girls, point and laugh.
  • I was in a theater class once when a fellow student arrived in a terrible mood. Someone asked her what was wrong and she told us how a guy on the street had said to her, "You have nice lips, I bet you give a great blow job." At this point, the instructor, who had overheard, said, "Well, you do have nice lips." Uh.
  • *blink* What a colossal douchebag.
  • I am so enjoying the resurgence of the word 'douchebag'.
  • me too! I can only speak for myself, but it's rapidly edging out "shitheel" as my epithet of choice.
  • Oooh. Shitheel. I dunno, that has a ring to it.
  • I am enjoying the Patton Oswalt epithet douchenozzle
  • And the response to the insensitive instructor should have been, "And you can only fantasize, Mr. Needle-dick Colossal Douchbag."
  • I dunno. For me, I doubt anything can take the place of the simple elegance of "f*cker."
  • Fucker can be said with a teasing tone as in, "you crafty fucker" or "you brilliant fucker" but with the adjectives unsaid. Douchebags are just douchebags; there are no clever douchebags.
  • Actually, it was sexual harassment that got me to go free-lance. I was working at a small weekly newspaper when I was assigned to photograph a guy who owned a bar. It was an advertorial and he was pissed that a reporter hadn't come along. So I said "Come on, let's just take the picture. Why don't I shoot you with a mug of beer (the bar was called The Beer Mug-I was very literal in those days) and make sure the mug has a good head on it." His response was "So, do YOU give good head?" I was floored but I still got the picture. I did not, however, print it. The editor called me the next day, wanting the picture. So I told HER what had happened and she was furious with me. Said that I was unprofessional. So I quit and went free-lance. Walked right out without giving notice or anything. I was scared to death but I still did it. Fuck them, anyway.
  • Fuckers.
  • Idunno -- I'm gonna go with IC on this. A douchebag is different than a fucker. Fucker implies a certain craftiness, but douchebag a selfishness. Fucker can be complimentary. To be a douchebag is to be an asocial asshole of the first order, and beyond all possible redemption.
  • "Trash-heap shit dog" is my personal favorite. A creation of my mother-in-law's.
  • Good one, HBS! And you can even play around with the word order: Trash-heap dog shit Trash-dog heap shit Trash-dog shit heap Shit-dog trash heap Heap-shit trash dog Dog-shit trash... Well, you get the picture.
  • "Trash-dog heap shit" sounds like a politically incorrect Red Indian in a 1950's Western.
  • *snort* Yes, I snort when something makes me laugh really hard and there's no coffee handy to spit all over the computer screen. What of it? The Tool clan's cussing skills are truly something to behold. (Or behear?) His folks were here a couple of months ago helping us with some home improvement projects, and I can't remember the exact string of profanity MCT let loose when he finally got something stubborn to work, but it involved mouths and goats and fucking, and I've never seen his father look prouder.
  • Cusses worth cussing: 1. Jesus H. Christ 2. Jesus Fucking Christ 3. Jesus H. Sebastian God