My personal fave:
Q: " Why did your emplyees ejactulate into my grandmother's milkshake?"
A: Any rumours and stories about this sort of behaviour have never been found to be true and are regarded as urban myths. If McDonald’s receive any allegations about bodily fluids in food these claims are fully investigated. If something like this were to happen any employee acting in this way would be dismissed.
Oh, god, this is beautiful!:
Q: I read in the paper that some burger contain poo. Is this really true? If so, what proportion of burgers contain poo?
A:No. This is absolutely not true. McDonald’s UK has never found any such thing, and given the high profile of the company, you can assume that anyone with such allegations would have brought them to McDonald’s attention right away – but they haven’t. You can be assured that the highest standards of food safety are adhered to in the preparation and serving of McDonald’s food.
(But if you really want to know, 14.5%)
1. What is a McJob?
1. A McJob is rewarding, stimulating and fun employment that gives people the business and personal skills to build a brighter future for themselves, their families and their communities.
Oh, so the Oxford English Dictionary is lying, lying I tell you!
All McDonald’s hamburgers are made of beef. Nothing else. Just 100 percent beef (...) All that’s added is a pinch of salt and pepper after cooking.
Sugar, spice and everything... I wonder if they could sustain that in a lawsuit?
The person who is replying to all these is either:
1. the most patient person who ever lived
2. the biggest twit who ever lived
It is possible that the two categories overlap.
I was a bit bored with it at first, but the further you dig, the better it gets.
I have a contact in S. America who is a friend of a worm farmer; she steadfastly claims that the worms are being sold to the golden arches. That is all.
They won't answer mine...
Do Sid and Marty Krofft ever eat at McDonalds?
The person who is replying to all these is either:
1. the most patient person who ever lived
2. the biggest twit who ever lived
3. just keeps his/her finger on the "McDonald's only uses whole cuts of forequarter and flank of 100 percent beef" macro and calls it a pay-check.
That would still be #2, Nick.
there are allegations of child labor in China to create happy meal toys what do you say and do to the people who say these things?
As to the allegation that McDonald’s uses child labour in the production of Happy Meal toys, all suppliers across the world undertake a rigorous audit before being approved as a McDonald’s supplier. This audit is designed to ensure that the working conditions comply with and exceed legal requirements.
Brilliantly evaded! *golf clap*
Q: are your baconburgers kosher?
A:It sounds like you may be referring to the Bacon Cheeseburger. This item is not Kosher for two reasons, firstly the Torah classifies pork is unacceptable to eat, and secondly the rules of Kashrut say that meat may not be eaten in conjunction with diary products such as cheese.
Haaa!
God, I can't look away! Some of these must be trolls!:
I used to think your burgers were horrible, believing they were all mashed chicken head.Is it true that there is lip in the burgers?
Some?
I. CAN'T. POST. TAGLINES. FOR. LAUGHING.
If something like this were to happen any employee acting in this way would be dismissed./I>
Don't expect reimbursement for your spermburger.
My favorite thus far is the "baconburger" one as it brings in the Torah. I suggest asking them other questions that force them to reference the Bible, the Book of Mormon, and Playboy. (preferably all in one answer.)
Go for it, BearGuy!
Answer: A McJob is rewarding, stimulating and fun employment that gives people the business and personal skills to build a brighter future for themselves, their families and their communities.
Follow up question: What are you smoking over there, and can I have some?
Yea, that's got to be one of my favorite fairy tales answers, too, M2002.
I love this one:
Are your milkshakes made from dogs lips?
I'd like to ask why McD's put Wimpy out of business, but the site doesn't work.
I heared monkeyfilter use real monkey hairs in their threads is it true?
Let's get this in perspective - there is milk from more than one cow in a carton of milk and juice from more than one orange in a carton of orange juice. The key point here is that all the meat we use is great quality.
Okay, let me get this straight - The McDonalds Corporation is telling me to get things in prespective. Suddenly I have LESS persective than MCDONALDS?
I also liked:
DO YOUR BURGERS CONTAIN EYES, OR ORGANS?
Go, on, pick one! Which is it?
I heared monkeyfilter use real monkey hairs in their threads is it true?
No, but there are cool threads covering their monkey hairs.
reference: Fez, Gomi, et al
Remember Al? What a guy.
"Is a Big Mac smaller in quantity of beef than a regular Quarter Pounder? I notice you mention a QP has 113.4g beef (before cooking). How much beef is in a BM?"
Exactly how much beef do you have in your B.M.s?
Board Meeting, 1974, McDonalds:
Board Prez: And it's new, and it will be a great success, and we will call it the Big Mac!
(Thunderous applause from lackeys around the table ... that drowns out):
Meek Marketing Man: But the initials would be B.M....
(Applause continues, scene ends.)
Board Meeting, 2005, Segway HQ
Board Prez: And it's new, and it will be a great success, and we will call it the Segway Human Transport!
(Thunderous applause from lackeys around the table, that drowns out....
Meek Marketing Man: But the initials would be S.H.T...
(scene ends)
True story - I recently had to stop my boss from naming our new curriculum Science Of Life, abbreviated S.O.L.
Suddenly I have LESS persective than MCDONALDS? For some reason that sentence made my day. It's perfect. My face hurts from smiling. Beautiful.
The HR director at my last job had quite a time of it getting it from us peons after she announced in a memo that the company would start offering Short-Term Disability Insurance. The title of the memo was" X company to begin offering STD Insurance!"
fairy talesanswers, too, M2002.