March 19, 2007

Dancing with the (almost) stars. Featured on the new edition of Dancing With the Stars -- one Heather Mills. Which is cruel, or brilliant, or both. (Also: Cliff Claven!)
  • Hopefully her local bobbies will get a bit of a rest while she's off filming.
  • I'm continually amazed that this is an actual show.
  • So am I, but not to the point of actually watching it.
  • Lies!
  • Sounds like this is poor timing in Ms. Mills' part. Or is she trying to cash in on her semi-celebrity? Some people HAVE to be in the spotlight, I guess. Also, this sounds like a pretty cool show to me, actually. Not the whole washed-out stars being judged on their dancing thing, but watching people dancing. I do love to watch truly talented people dance; it's hypnotic. Has anyone watched it? Is it mostly dance and a little b.s. or mostly b.s. and a little dance?
  • I've watched a time or two, and it is a lot of fucking dancing. What is impressive is that, C-list or not, these people really work at learning what is a fairly difficult skill. It is by no means a show I would go out of my way to see, not "must see" or even close, but it is better than some of the other reality crap that is out there.
  • I haven't watched Stars, but I did watch that American Ballroom from time to time on PBS. It was mostly to watch Marilu Henner, and think back to a kinder, gentler America when she wasn't all vegan and stuff, but merely stoopid-hawt. As for the dancing, it was fascinating, but very, very strange. Technically, it was astounding, but aesthetically mildly disturbing. While Fred and Ginger had a natural, fluid grace, these dancers were so preoccupied with inserting moves into the routine that it was forced and robotic, however smooth. Hard to explain. Unnatural, mostly. I did, however, watch the celebrity American Idol, which was mostly b.s. and a little singing, but better that way. Lucy Lawless wasn't bad at all, and Cheech was simply endearing throughout. Never expected to watch it, and I never sought it out, but it was entertaining.
  • "Technically, it was astounding, but aesthetically mildly disturbing. While Fred and Ginger had a natural, fluid grace, these (two) were so preoccupied with inserting moves into the routine that it was forced and robotic, however smooth. Hard to explain. Unnatural, mostly." I thought the same of the Pamela Anderson sex tapes.
  • I totally understand where you're coming from, Capt. Most "modern" dancing is like that, especially pop. All these tweaky arm movements & odd gyrations don't really make for good dancing. /has no idea how to respond to RTD's comment other than HA!
  • It's a heck of a lot of fun to watch. And ditto to RTD; the amount of work they put in compared to what seems like the amount put in on Idol and other shows is staggering. I always find dancing fun to watch, though, so YMMV. Makes me want to refill that Celebrex prescription and dust off mt tango shoes. I can't wait to see how Heather does - that must be one heck of a good prothesis.
  • I have never heard of this show. Sounds a lot better than American Idol. Though the only name I recognize is Ratzenberger's.
  • MonkeyFilter: better than some of the other reality crap that is out there MonkeyFilter: Technically, it was astounding, but aesthetically mildly disturbing. Ahhhhhhh. It's been a while since I've had a good tagline. *blows smoke at the ceiling I'm with Ralph, except it'a all crap. If I want reality, I'll get up and away from this computer.
  • OK, just watched Heather dance. She wasn't the worst on the show, and my heart is still in my throat from hoping she didn't fall.
  • I like to pretend that I have my own television show or am a writer for some television show. Whenever I try to come up with an idea for a parody of a reality show, I invariably realize that my idea would actually work and could never be a parody. I mean, tell me that if someone floated the idea ten years ago about a dance contest between has-been celebrities and people that you wouldn't have laughed. Here are ideas for parodies of reality shows that people would actually watch (thus negating their status as parodies): 1. Shits And Giggles -- Put a celebrity in one stall and a non-celebrity in the neighboring stall and see how long it takes one to giggle after the other person has begun taking a shit. 2. This Is War! -- Celebrities are pitted against non-celebrities in the card game "war." 3. Wax On, Wax Off -- Non-celebrites wax body hair off of celebrities. The celebrity with the smoothest, clearest waxed skin wins.
  • 1. Shits And Giggles -- Put a celebrity in one stall and a non-celebrity in the neighboring stall and see how long it takes one to giggle after the other person has begun taking a shit. I caught a show a comedy central recently, called "Distraction" or something like that. It was a game show where the contestants had to answer question while being distracted by something or another. The first round, everyone had to sit on toilets (you could see their shoulders and their pants around their ankles), and to buzz in, you had to pee a little. One girl kept buzzing in, cause it's hard to stop the flow once it starts. It was funny as hell.
  • I'd like to pitch something that combines features of Ed TV, the Japanese show Endurance, and Mad Max III. So, we take all of the C and B list celebrities, plus some of the A list (to be drawn by lot). They all move to a town that's been created for the purposes of this show. There are cameras everywhere, tracking their every move. The show has no set end date; it keeps going as long as its ratings are outperforming Big Brother. The celebrities are paid a reasonable wage, but their main reward is the constant glare of publicity and attention. We also move the offices of Hello! magazine and similar titles to the town, in order to facilitate production etc. To stop it getting boring, introduce the comic and the grotesque. So every week a few celebrities are chosen at random to perform disgusting feats. The losers of these small contests are obliged to enter a gladiatorial style competition that's used to cull the population every year, allowing for the introduction of fresh meat new minor celebrities. The death match part could be pay-per-view, I think. Everyone benefits: the attention-starved, talentless fuckwits get to be on camera almost 24/7; the population at large has a one-stop-shop for all minor celebrity news and gossip; and we never again need wonder what happened to that guy from that boy band because the answer will invariably be he was killed in the arena and his body parts sold to fans.
  • I would give my right arm for Donny Most's right arm.
  • I watched the second half last night and I gotta say, ol' Cliff Claven was totally working the silver fox business.
  • I quite like Distraction purely for the awfully sarcastic Jimmy Whatshisname. There was a season filmed in the US too, which of course isn't as funny. :p I also watch the NZ version of DWtS, but that was because a good friend was one of the dancers competing. Her partner on the show, whom I've met since, was pretty awful.