March 07, 2007

Inside the Wal-Mart Presentation A purportedly leaked corporate presentation describing the Wal-Mart shopper types and likes. With cute names and clip art. Are You a "Brand Aspirational"? A "Price Sensitive Affluent"? Or perhaps the dreaded Conscientious Objector? Yes, "skew rural" with this fun-filled laugh riot of demographically informaniacal datacramlets! via Blue-Mart
  • I found it interesting how their core market is depressed, afraid they can't afford adequate health care, etc.
  • I'd have to worry about someone who is "emotionally committed" to shopping at Wal-Mart. Or any other store, for that matter.
  • All these labels are too long and mushy. Might I propose the following identity scheme? Price Sensitive Affluents = Tightwads Brand Aspirationals = Posers Social Shoppers = People Looking or Cheap Babysitting Convenience Seekers = the Lazy Trendy Quality Seekers = Impressionable Kids, Teens Price Value Shoppers = Poor Hicks Conscientious Objectors = Pinkos, Gays, Other Wal-Mart Undesirables.
  • FOR cheap babysitting. Does Wal-Mart carry preview buttons?
  • Aisle 12, just part the tube socks.
  • past the tube socks. Damn! Pick me up one of them preview things, Capt...
  • I find it very interesting that they quote Aristotle. Also, they misspelled "migraine".
  • The Price Sensitive Affluent Shopper is "Highly Caucasian". Brand Aspirationals: * Skew more urban * Skew to the wrong side of the digital divide * Slightly below average education * Lower than average income * Sports-oriented, especially toward basketball * Prefer Fox network Some unique Monkeyting surveys have revealed: Quidnunc Aspirationals: * Skew to the left, and then a step to the rii-iii-hii-hiight * Lower than average Mountain Dew quotient * Slightly bifurcated notions of grandeur * Prefer Sox to Fox
  • I'm a very analytical non-magazine-reading poor-as-shit cheapskate who doesn't often brag that he sometimes shops at Wal-Mart. Pigeonhole ME baby, pigeonhole me HARD.
  • Cheap, Stupid, Lazy, Rural, and/or Black/Hispanic Yep, that fits with just about every WalMart I have ever been in.
  • So, which were you?
  • Stupid, mostly
  • I found it interesting how their core market is depressed, afraid they can't afford adequate health care, etc. Yeah, that's righ... Wait. Did you say core market or employees?
  • Huh. Next, I want to see the HR powerpoint presentation.
  • Cheap, Stupid, Lazy, Rural, and/or Black/Hispanic Does that mean that the black and Hispanic folks are possibly not cheap, stupid, lazy, or rural? And, by extension, that all white people sho shop there are cheap, stupid, lazy or rural?
  • I am too cheap to understand the question.
  • I was interested in their conclusions regarding the "brand aspirationals" - to wit, 11% only buy national brands but 1/4 of them choose price over brand. So, what exactly makes them brand-conscious shoppers? In real statistical terms, 11% is nothing, especially compared to 25%. WalMart is run by morons. Personally, I fucking hate WalMart. I shop there because it is the only store of any size within a 45 to 50 mile radius of my home. I shop the smaller, more expensive grocery store in town most days, but go to WalMart for stocking up on nonperishables. Every time I walk in the door I begin to get a migraine. I typically stalk furiously through the aisles, and have a hard time resisting the urge to shove slow-moving people out of my way. I always buy too much, which makes me mad. I finally figured out why. When I walk in and see how unhealthy 90% of the other shoppers are*, I start loading my cart with organic, sugar-free, healthy items (my GOD are those sorts of thing hard to find in a WalMart!). This was up until about a month ago an entirely unconscious reaction - I finally figured out what I was doing and have since tried hard not to slip into this habit again, as I begrudge every penny I hand to that monster corporation. *Currently living in a very rural, economically depressed area. The average person here is not thin. Very seldom do I see anyone exercising - I was running thrice weekly for months before I ever encountered another person out for a jog. He seemed as surprised to see another runner as I did.