January 18, 2007

1918 flu recovered from frozen Arctic corpse kills monkeys in the lab. WE'RE DOOMED.

I have mixed feelings here. A) cool! They can find out how the pandemic worked. B) augh! They killed monkeys. What do yall think?

  • As long as they're not infecting them with Rage, I think it'll be alright.
  • Isn't this how those zombie movies start?
  • If the zombie monkeys infect the zombie pigs, then we're really fucked.
  • Ask me again in 28 days.
  • Some say the world will end in virus From Arctic ice From what I've tasted of ague I hold with those who favor flu If th'epidemic strikes us twice I think I know enough of chills To say that virus from the ice May men as well as monkey kill.
  • after a Canadian laboratory rebuilt the virus ... They are hoping to help control any future pandemic I've got a better idea for preventing this pandemic. How about just not rebuilding the virus in the first place?!
  • It's the HISTORY ERASER BUTTON!! You won't touch it... will you????? Human beings seem to have a real problem with this sort of thing...
  • Maybe this is why the Monkey Savior has been returned to Earth!
  • I feel bad for the monkeys. I hate that animals suffer like that.
  • Nice rhyming, Underpants Monster. I laughed so hard the face guard of my Hazmat containment suit fogged right up.
  • I once edited a novel that concerned the 1918 flu being extracted from the permafrost in far northern Europe. Makes me wonder how, if that flu actually exists in that medium, things might change should global warming turn the permafrost into not-so-permafrost.
  • Aah, but then we'll be so busy constantly fighting skin cancer that death by the flu will be sweet, sweet release.
  • They're using our Monkeys for testing!?!! Those BASTARDS!! Uhhh, nevermind. But this thing is really scary. I'm too lazy to google for the stats, but I do remember reading that the worldwide death toll numbers were horrible. When I first started going to old graveyards here in the West, I was struck by two things--the number of infant graves, and the number of 1918 flu victims. Yeah, I'm suspicious, too. Knowing human beans, it won't be long 'till there's an "accident."
  • *applauds TUM for frosty verse*
  • *looks suspiciously towards Plum Island*
  • Then, in a maximum "biosafety" facility at Canada's National Microbiology Laboratory they reconstructed a fully functioning virus That facility is here in Winnipeg. I pass by it every day on my way to work. Yesterday, they were pushing little monkeys around in wheelchairs, wearing their tiny hospital gowns. It was so cute! *achoo*
  • I've got a better idea for preventing this pandemic. How about just not rebuilding the virus in the first place?! Because: Analysis at the University of Wisconsin at Madison (UW) revealed that a key component of the immune system, a gene called RIG-1 appeared to be involved. Levels of the protein produced by the gene were lower in tissue infected with the 1918 virus, suggesting it had a method of switching it off, causing immune defences to run wild. This ability to alter the body's immune response is shared with the most recent candidate for mutation into a pandemic strain, the H5N1 avian flu. That's why. If they can figure out why the 1918 flu did what it did, then they can prevent the bird flu from doing what it might do. *cough*
  • My FPP-fu was weak, else I would have looked up some more links about other pandemics. The 68-69 one was interesting to me because I survived it. My folks don't talk about it much, but I got a penicillin shot in the ass that prevented me from walking for a while, presumably to combat a secondary infection. I was hospitalized a couple times ... and then I broke my arm! That was probably unrelated, tho. An article in Discover I read suggested that every person in the world was exposed to this bug within about six months -- it just wasn't as deadly as the 1918 one.
  • *closes airlock*
  • An article in Discover I read suggested that every person in the world was exposed to this bug within about six months I find that oddly comforting. We don't do things together as a species that often.
  • When I first started going to old graveyards here in the West, I was struck by two things--the number of infant graves, and the number of 1918 flu victims. Oh, Gramma; that reminded me so much of that short story, "Evil Spirits", in Palahniuk's Haunted...
  • "Pandemic" is an appropriate word, seeing as how Pan caused such fright in forestgoers.
  • Too bad we ate all the cod, eh?
  • The killer enzyme, called penzim, was extracted from the intestines of cod by Ens√≠mtaekni and is currently being developed for beauty products Ah, well, as long as the world cod shortage is due to us ripping out their intestines to make eye shadow, that's alright. It's the eating of them that's evil.
  • Maybe they just extract a partial length of the intestines, splice the remaining bits together and fling the fish back into the ocean.
  • Man, it is just too easy to hate on Yoko. It's like you have to make a special effort not to.
  • If only people would stop eating eyeshadow, NO MONKEY WOULD EVER HAVE TO DIE AGAIN
  • Curing the pandemic would take an act of Cod.
  • Judging from the primary researcher's name, Darwyn Kobasa, are we sure this isn't a Neal Stephenson novel?
  • *adds +5 to TUM's score*
  • *slaps forehead in delight* That was so brillant; it took several "look-sees" to realize that it said Cod
  • "That's not the POINT for God's sake! Wildfire was built for germ warfare! Wildfire AND Scoop! And you knew, Stone! YOU KNEW IT!"
  • Mind the lasers. They're supposed to shoot any monkeys that escape. And don't lose the key to abort the nuclear destruct sequence!