November 15, 2006

• Last Monday the horse won. If you've been there done that, what advice can you give me, please? How long did it take before you wanted to go square dancing again?
• oh dear. I guess a comforting hug is out of the question. What happened?
• Oh noes sweetie! MUCH sympathy from me! *hugs* (but not too tightly) Mr Gomi is *still* recovering from his broken ankle (which he broke at the end of August). I guess all I can say is expect to be out of action for a while. Shirasu (baby sardines) are really good for boosting your calcium. I usually eat them mixed with rice and wakame - like a super healthy fried rice (here's another recipe) Ouch ouch ouch.....
• Oh jeesus, ouch! Sorry to hear that BlueHorse. I can't offer anything other than sympathy. Oh, and take those pain pills! There's no point in trying to tough it out. Must be frigging curse this weekend.
• Plenty, plenty of rest. Keep warm, the last thing you need is a cough that may develop into something worse. And gimme your snail mail address. I'm so sorry, GramMa. Take care, and don't stress out!
• *steals tagline just to rub it in*
• *lies about it as well*
• Ah GramMa... : ( I hope for a speedy recovery. I've cracked (not broken) a rib twice, and feeling that if you inhale deep enough you'll crack it again is not nice, as you certainly know by now. Not by something as volent as a horsefall, and I could ambulate, but it took me about a month until I coud breath easily. Rest, lots of, and yes, be careful for any opportunistic infection. *soft hugs*
• Don't be afraid to reach out and ask people for help. That was my problem after I had knee surgery and was incapacitated for about a month. Luckily my downstairs neighbor, a stay-at-home mom of two, came to my rescue, coming upstairs to check on me several times a day, making me lunch, and even changing my piss bottle! (She said that with an infant downstairs, doing so was almost a vacation.) Dunno if you suffer from the same asking-for-help-is-a-sign-of-weakness gene, but if you do, try to turn it off now while you really do need help. And feel better!
• Changing your piss bottle? Now that's being neighbourly....
• Dang, GramMa! *gentle hugs, much love* I hope we don't have to have her put down.
• *reads Islander's last comment with the whites of her eyes showing
• Apple?
• Thanks, everybody, for all the gentle* hugs and sympathy. *virtual hugs are the only ones that feel good Oddly enough, for all the times I've come off, and with all the wrecks I've had with horses kicking or whatever, I've never broken any bones. (teeth, yes, bones, no) This happened on the 6th, and I'm still barely toddling around. Soft tissue injuries obviously heal faster. Everyone says broken ribs are the worst, and 4 of the buggers isn't fun, but right now it's the collar bone that's screaming at me. I guess I'm off to take more narcotics.
• Pleasant trip dreams, GramMa.
• I bet you think you should just do everything you've always done, but your body is telling you that you need to rest while it marshalls forces to get you healed. So, just do it! I had a lung problem a couple of months ago - a defective air sac popped, but luckily it didn't cause my lung to collapse. I'm generally a fast healer and thought I'd be back to normal in a day or two, but it was only after 3 weeks of sleeping 18 hours a day that I felt ok. I can only imagine that a bigger trauma to your lung, with broken bones that need resources to heal, will take more time and sap your energy more. Just take care of yourself, please.
• I don't know if there's something that would prevent you from inhaling deeply due to the lung issue, but when I broke my ribs the doctor told me to make sure I remembered to breath deeply as often as possible. I suppose she picked up on my shallow breathing while I was in the examining room. And if they gave you some muscle relaxers take them with a cup of tea on a porch if you can. Especially if it's a crisp day. They never gave me anything for my ribs, the jerks. Sláinte.
• Poor the GramMa. We love you! Other than that, I got nuthin, sorry.
• Tea and sympathy offered GranMa. All sounds most grim.
• Much sympathy and virtual hugs, GramMa. I've never done a collar bone, but I've cracked ribs several times. The only good advice I have is "take it easy" - if you have to move around, do things at less than 60% of the pace you normally would. Try to find a sitting position that helps you breathe comfortably. Maybe an armchair, though I'm not sure how that will be with a broken collarbone. Has your lung been reinflated? Or are they waiting until the ribs heal more? You need to breathe steadily - not too deep (ouch!) but not too shallow.
• Oh my god, I'm so sorry to hear this. I've fallen from a Neddy a few times but never like this. Best wishes.
• *wince* That's some nasty, that is. I'm so sorry. The breathing thing was hard for me (broken ribs, collapsed lung--which reinflated on its own, thank god.) I didn't pay as much attention to it as I should have and wound up with pleurisy and double pneumonia. So yeah. Breathing. And be very, very kind to yourself. Keep a club next to you, so if others aren't as kind you can knock the stuffing out of 'em, the inconsiderate bastards.
• Alas, BlueHorse - so sorry ye got bunged up! Folk often assume breaking your collarbone doesn't hurt - but it DOES! Worst of broken bones is finding a comfortable position to sleep. Using a lounge chair, so you're partly propped up, can help. The kitchen gods have always upped the calcium in my diet whenever I've broken things. Ye need to get out in the sunlight, too, if ye can manage it, to get the calcium to work most effectively.
• Here, you can have my cheese butty.
• *hugs GranMa gingerly with one arm, hides rifle with other* I've never had broken bones, but I did have surgery recently, so the advice I can give is: rest more than you think you need to, and longer than you think you need to. Accept all help, and when you think you're able to do more vigorous stuff, wait another couple weeks before doing it. And take your pain killers. But don't overdo it (I can give advice on kicking pain killers too, when the time comes :) )
• What everybody said. If I was in your position, I think I would want to stay close to the whisky bottle, but I suppose that doesn't go with the pills.
• owwwww sorry to hear about your mishap - ginger hugs, grapes, narcotics and flowers to you!
• Collapsed lungs hurt like a sonofabitch, don't they? You get the chest tube, or did the surgically repair the damage? Cracked ribs/collarbones/etc. I know nothing about, but I do know from lung pain. Doubt I need to tell you this, but the key is taking it easy as much as you can. My thoracic surgeon told me that after your first collapse, your odds of a second happening are about one in three, so when they say don't pick up anything over ten pounds, DON'T PICK UP ANYTHING OVER TEN POUNDS. Take your time recovering and getting back to your normal life. If they did give you the chest tube, for future reference: If your lung collapses again and they give you another chest tube, your odds of a third collapse go up to about two out of three. If they surgically repair the damage, however, the odds drop to about one out of ten. So if it deflates again, demand you talk to a thoracic surgeon before they stick anything in you. You'll probably have continued, intermittent stabbing pains in your chest for quite awhile afterward (I'm talking years), but the good news is they get better. Intensity and frequency both drop off considerably after the first year or two. Also, drink copious amounts of whiskey and read you some Nancy Drew novels.
• My youngest daughter is learning to ride -- now you're scaring me.... In the meantime, you have my very best wishes for a speedy recovery. You may find watching Carson Daily will help you understand why this has happened to you. A lot of people don't realize what's really going on. They view life as a bunch of unconnected incidents and things. They don't realize that there's this lattice of coincidence on top of everything.
• Since GramMa's -er- 'busy': MonkeyFilter: Ye need to get out in the sunlight. MonkeyFilter: Advice, tips, and sympathy solicited. MonkeyFilter: hope we don't have to have her put down. Sorry about your owies, GramMa! Hope the mending period passes by like a dream.
• IChimp, the reason they tell you to breathe deeply every once in a while is that there is a risk of pneumonia when painful ribs result in constant shallow breathing. BlueHorse, you give me the name of the horse that did this to you and the next time you see him, it'll be on the back of a Post-it™ Note. I cracked a few ribs on September 15 and still am uncomfortable lying down. Lots of rest and bananas for you, GramMa!
• It serves you right for square-dancing with a horse. I'd kick, too. Seriously, though, take the time you need to recover, and read MoFi at every opportunity.
• I had some "friends" crack my sternum for me a couple of years ago -- totally changed my sleeping patterns. Your body will let you know what it likes and dislikes pretty quickly. Take it easy, don't be a hero, and it's true that it gets better in time. First month is pretty bad, second month you're cursing that it's still that bad, third month is only occasional pain. Sorry GranMa. It sucks.
• *Big, huge, non-painful virtual hug* I really hope you feel better soon, BlueHorse. That said, the two rib injuries I've had both took for-bloody-ever to heal. But then, I didn't have an army of monkeys willing me to recover. Let's hope this speeds the mending process and gets you back in the saddle soon. I'll be thinking of you.
• I dated a guy who broke his collarbone in a bike race. He said it was the most pain he'd ever been in. So don't be a hero, and take your meds. By the way, hats off to you for finding a great way to get out of cooking Thanksgiving dinner! I've got 13 people coming over to my house next week. I'm headed out to find a horse of my own.
• GramMa, I hope you did not tag in the "bottoming for a horse" thread. *sends good love and caring in copious quantities* Get better you hear! Give 'yer bones a rest. Relax your cane-shaking hand. Watch some good old flicks. And let the monkey love do its healing magic. I've never brokena bone, so no advice to offer - - just take care!
• So that's what you've been up to you scamp! Sorry to hear it GramMa! Hugs and best wishes for distraction and bemusement! Remember that retail therapy has moved into the modern age - fire up your favorite Internets and "add to cart" as you see fit! You need to feel better! That new game system and . . um . . chocolate . . ooh and that book you've been wanting. The pasta maker, some cool lamps, and some Barry White CD's too. Rationalization not needed! Don't worry about the taglines, HWingo and I have been working on them with some limited success.
• I broke my sternum in a car accident once. Just thinking about it makes it hurt again. Many, many, Virtual Vicodin™ (Better than hugs) to GramMa!!! I heartily second all the advice and tips given above. And don't be afraid to ask for more pain pills if you need them. Get someone to keep tha damn cat off your chest.
• Awwww. As Empress of Blankets I recommend that you get under several (the healing power of blankets is so common as to receive no notice at all) and take your interesting pills. On a full stomach. Near a nice fire. Be well.
• BlueHorse, I'm so sorry to hear about your painful injuries dear!! I hope you have as speedy and uncomplicated a healing as possible. you strike me as someone who will find such forced inaction frustrating and difficult. please listen to all the wonderful advice above. This will take longer to heal than you think, or want it to. give your body that time!! take yr pain meds, and revel in this opportunity to catch up on all that reading you'd do "if you had the time" (or knitting, or orchestrating conspiracies, or meditating...)
• Didn't you already have a bad disc? Mama mia! Bundle up and rest. I broke a rib last March, and it was still slightly tender in July. But the worst of the "omigod I can't stand this" pain was over in about 3 weeks. I also have dislocated my collarbone twice. I'm not sure how that compares to a broken one, but my sympathies. Baby it as much as you can. My best advice from long periods of bed confinement is to find something to occupy your mind. Whether it's movies, good books, internet (I rigged up a wireless keyboard and adjusted the monitor so I could be online when I was flat on my back unable to get up), or company, find something. It's easy to go nuts when you're stuck in the house. It's hard to focus on something other than the pain. It's also easy to eat 'cause you're bored :) *adds a virtual hug to the pile*
• BlueHorse, many sympathies! A bit of advice: as soon as you can, get yourself to a sports injury doctor. Regular doctors will deal with the immediate problem -- sticking your various broken bits back together. But in my experience they are completely useless at the recovery side of things. A sports injury doctor will be focused on issues like getting you back on your feet again sooner, ensuring you maintain full range of motion, etc. That can literally take months off the recovery process. Also, DO YOUR PHSYIO! Even if it hurts. Especially if it hurts. And if you haven't connected with a physiotherapist yet, go to the sports doctor and get his/her opinion about when you should start. They can also refer you to a decent physio practioner. (If you're not sure where to find a good sports doctor, most university campuses have sports medicine clinics.) Remember, too, that every sports injury, however miserable, is also an opportunity to learn about your body and your spirit. Don't miss that chance. (Here's an article you might find interesting, too.) Good luck.
• Good advice re: the physio. Some of your better physio clinics will have a sports doctor on-site, or will at least be able to recommend one. I've never broken a bone *goes to high-five smt, misses, breaks pinky* damn.
• Therapy therapy therapy. If the doc says do it, do it. Had a tendon repair once, hurt to do the stretching it needed to fix it but it also felt good in a strange way to watch it go from tight and broken back to flexible and fixed. (OK so it was just a tendon in my pinky finger - but damn, injuries suck!) As for the collarbone, baby that sucker. Don't move your arm. At all. Unless instructed. The shoulder girdle is a trio of bones (collarbone, shoulderblade, humerus) that form a tripod around the top of your ribcage. Any movement that pulls on one of these must be stabilized by muscles to the other two. This means moving your arm or using some of the muscles in your back and neck will pull on the collarbone. It isn't anything you can put a splint on, so the next best thing is to keep the remainder as immobile as possible. You can actually put on socks with one hand. Not easy, but you can do it. Get well!
• MonkeyFilter: Not easy, but you can do it. MonkeyFilter: First month is pretty bad, second month you're cursing that it's still that bad, third month is only occasional pain. MonkeyFilter: You'll probably have continued, intermittent stabbing pains in your chest for quite awhile afterward. MonkeyFilter: You may find watching Carson Daily will help you understand why this has happened to you.
• What were the circumstances behind this injury, if I may ask? It sounds like you fell, so I assume the horse was spooked or such like?
• Hope you have a speedy recovery GramMa.
• Oh, GramMa, this is sad, but I knows you'll be up and about before too long. Good books, gentle exercise and before you know it, you can chase us all off your lawn again. *rings doorbell*
• Hey, HW, no italics, no bold? You want to make GramMa mad? Sheez!
• MonkeyFilter: Using a lounge chair, so you're partly propped up, can help. MonkeyFilter: I think I would want to stay close to the whisky bottle.
• I broke the same collar bone twice. Laying down was a bitch, as I recall. I would just sip brandy until the pain receded. Funny story, if it helps: On my second collar bone breakage, I was a bridesmmaid in my cousin's wedding. I had to wear one of those velcro braces that kept my shoulders thrust back and the bone in place. As hard as I tried, I couldn't put on a bra for the pain of displacement. So, there I was, boobs thrust out in my lightweight summer bridesmaid dress, brace on, and perpetually perky nipples on display. I wound up putting a shawl over my shoulders, but I still got hit on by the groom. He was extremely drunk, but I was nevertheless scorned by half my family. They finally got over it when the couple divorced. I have not been invited to another wedding. Take care, Blue Horsey, and lay in a nice brandy supply.
• Well, jesus, cynnnbad, if you didn't want the groom to hit on you, you shouldn't have broken your collar bone like that!
• Oh man, I can't imagine the pain you're going through. medicate, medicate, medicate
• A) Wow, BlueHorse, I really hope you feel better soon. The injury sounds awful. I don't have any specific advice, alas, since I've never broken a bone. (When someone I knew broke her collarbone, she had a little morphine button that she could press when she needed to! IV narcotics may be the way to go.) B) Cynnbad, people are still waiting for the answer to that whole "toilets in India" conundrum. You might could pop by there and give us an update, even if no gnus is good gnus.
• Whatever you do, don't sneeze. (I'm serious; it'll hurt like a mofo.) The "good" thing about broken bones is that while they're quite traumatic for a few months, once they heal, you're good. Joint injuries (tendon tears, etc.) can take years to heal, if ever. It sucks, but you'll be back to full speed before springtime. In the meantime, have a banana. (
• I want to know exactly how it happened, damn it!
• Give Grandma a break (ha!). She is in pain and napping right now. I probably hurts to do everything, including getting on the damned computer. The traumatic slow-motion recounting of the auto accident, along with stylish prose and comforting banalities, is quite beyond her right now. I, too, would like to hear about it, but I am willing to wait several days.
• Horse mishap, not auto accident.
• Maybe it was in a Mustang... *hides*
• After my fall, I recall being disappointed by the Percoset. People had told me it was great stuff. My recollection is that it did not ease the pain, it just made me not give a shit about the pain. There is a difference.
• Get well soon, GramMa! *hugs*
• After my motorcycle crash, I convinced the doctor that none of the meds were working. I pulled a major Dr. Smith. (Oh the Pain, the Pain.) I finally got what I wanted Demerol - Ah sweet Demerol The gift from heaven......
• Let us know if we can send anything good your way, GramMa! (email's in the profile) I just second the notion of finding a good sports therapist and then being really consistent about doing your therapy. Also, do any breathing exercises you're given so you don't get pneumonia.
• disappointed by the Percoset I think the kids love the Percodan. But what do I know, I'm high on life. *dances through sprinkler on GramMa's lawn*
• Percoset and Percodan are the same narcotic, one is just mixed with aspirin, the other with acetaminophen. I forget which is which.
• The Percocet I had after my last surgery was lovely. Of course, nothing beats Dilaudid in my book, but I've never been given that as an outpatient. cynnbad, I was still walking with a cane from a broken hip when my friend asked me to be her maid of honor. I was off it by the time the big day rolled around, but afterward she told me about her backup plan of decorating it with flowers and ribbons to match the dress.
• Percocet has acetaminophen. Percocet is lovely. I got badly hooked on it during a 4 month illness though (I was taking 5-8 per day, every day), and it took about 3 weeks for my body to feel normal after getting off it. It's some serious shit, man! I've never had Dilaudid, but I did get the morphine drip once. It made me frow up. Drugs are bad, kids!
• You were frowzy?
• uh .. nyes?
• Yeah, morphine makes me tummy icky, too. And it makes me itch. Every time I have it, I always end up digging myself raw until they put ice packs all over. Last time I had Dilaudid, I swear it was like in the movies when time freezes.
• I pay good money for those effects.
• You'ze guys are so wunnerful! I'll tell the details tomorrow, I promise. Got done typing a lengthly post on another thread, and now I'm done in. She is in pain and napping right now. I probably hurts to do everything, including getting on the damned computer. The traumatic slow-motion recounting of the auto accident, along with stylish prose and comforting banalities, is quite beyond her right now. I, too, would like to hear about it, but I am willing to wait several days. EarWax is right. I'm still on an oxygen tube and double dose of Norco for pain (hydrocodone) so I'm pretty well out of it. Bleah. I don't know about comforting banalities, but I'll try to compose the story with as few trite phrases and horrific sound effects as possible. And yes it was a Mustang I got bucked off of. He's a registered feral Mustang off the Nevada range rounded up in a BLM catch.
• GramMa, may I have your snail mail addy? To your nearest Post Office is fine too. Please? Pretty please? *big watery sad puppy eyes* With sugar on top?
• He's a registered feral Mustang I'm suspending that horse's license for two months. He's a loose cannon! *demands horse's gun and badge*
• He's a registered feral Mustang off the Nevada range rounded up in a BLM catch. that just sounds so damn romantic! they should make a movie about it GramMa and you can star and round up that ornery horse in yr pink fairy grandmother outfit (and not get thrown off this time!)
• And just for his licensed ferality that whinnieing four-legger thinks he can go around hurting our favorite humans monkeys? If I ever find that brat in some bar, I'll punch his eye purple.
• GramMa, I'm very cross with you for doing something so silly as to ride such a dangerous animal. In future I suggest you let less valuable members of society, such as young males, ride the feral mustangs, please.
• Mongo only pawn in game of life.
• I must now link to this. I must.
• Never was a horse that couldn't be rode, and never a rider who couldn't be throwed. -- cowboy saying We're all waiting impatiently to hear the rip-roaring details, of course, but please don't tire yourself just to satisfy mere monkey curiosity, dear BlueHorse.
• She rode a Mustang, thinking tame It bucked and threw her, all the same.
• ))) !!! She lies abed and loudly groans, 'I know I've broken all my bones!'
• And when we ask 'please tell us why?' She cannot answer - she's too high!
• And of the horse? It feels no shame For bucking Mofi's favorite dame.
• "She had it coming", he said with a sneer A dirisive snort, and twitch of his ear.
• "I'm wild," said he, for explanation. "See my feral registration?"
• "And woe was me, alas and alack, for I had Monkey upon my back!"
• "I dinna ken this hullaballoo- would you want ME to sit on YOU?"
• Indeed I might, my fishy friend, But enough of me and your rear end.
• If we get BlueHorse laughing, or even to chuckle, Perhaps next on a bronco, She'll remember that buckle. Old bones break deep. Very quiet she must keep. ((()))'s
• I'm no poet, so can't continue that, sorry. Well, a couple of thoughts, with a connection even: First, people have mentioned to you to take deep breaths, if possible, but I didn't see the reason mentioned. It's not because the extra oxygen may do you good, though I supposed that's true, but it is to prevent pneumonia. (To be technical, atelectasis is the collapsed alveoli that may result from too-long-shallow respiration.) Having spent a couple months in a hospital bed with pneumonia, I feel I can definitively say to avoid it if at all possible. Second, I think some have mentioned the pain of coughing, sneezing, laughing, and the like. There is a counter-intuitive yet very effective technique for coping with these. Press on those fractures that are screaming out at you from being "attacked" by the movement. But rather than pressing "small" with your hand, press "wide" with a pillow! What you are effectively doing is splinting the bone ends, so they won't be as jostled. Try it, the next time you have to cough; it really does help tremendously, even though it seems a bad idea. (Yes, I also learned this the hard way, from experience, in the hospital.) And, now, the connection. Coughing might even be recommended for you to prevent pneumonia from developing. If so, definitely hug that pillow to you tightly when you do it! Best of luck in your recovery. -- RTD: The drug accompanying the acetaminophen or aspirin is oxycodone, and can be prescribed separately, and in higher dosages, particularly if you are taking so much Percocet as to cause liver toxicity from the acetaminophen, but still need more analgesia. And yes, I learned this one by experience too, sigh. (/me takes it as we speak, blames any typos on it) Much tinier pills, though much more potent, go figure
• Thanks for your patience, everyone (You, too, Chyren) Herein follows the gruesome and horrific story of the Busted Bones and the Collapsed Lung. Complete with sound effects. As that lil’ sweetie, Lara, remembered, I was scheduled before Thanksgiving to go in for a surgical assessment on a couple ruptured disks. *bleah I had a diskectomy and lumbar laminectomy two years ago at Christmas, but too many years of hauling hay and bouncing off horses, as well as crappy genetics, is still catching up to me. *sigh I was having a lot of sciatica pain, as well as feeling sorry for myself because I hadn’t been riding much, and I knew I wouldn’t be riding at all over the winter after this surgery. Rocking in my rocking chair and riding my horse at a walk are the two things that loosen up my back muscles when I get to having muscle cramps in my back and hips. The problem with riding is lifting the saddle on/off makes everything worse. *moan I was whining to a Girl Friend about wanting to go for JUST ONE MORE RIDE, and GF kindly offered to take me out for an hour one lovely evening, maybe 3 miles at an easy walk, and she’d do all the work of brushing, saddling, etc. How can you refuse a deal like that? So I get ol’ Buckshot out. We originally got Shotski as a rescue for the grandkids to ride. He was ratty, beat-up, thin and supposedly ancient. As it turned out with, feed, TLC, and a surprise discovery from the equine dentist, he is actually a foxy 10 year old, now suitable for an intermediate/advanced rider (or bronc string.) *snort The hay I got this fall is supposed to be mixed, but it’s actually more alfalfa than grass. Feeding a Mustang alfalfa is like feeding nitroglycerin—which I’d forgotten, since I’ve had mostly Arabs all my life and they’re fine with it, if it’s fed with a balanced diet. *munch, munch We were going for a slow, quiet ride so I just put him in the gentle hackamore, rather than a bit. I didn’t bother lunging him in a circle before I got on, because I never do, unless it’s a colt I’m training. The only smart thing I did was put on my helmet. About ¾ of a mile down the road, I’m having a good time, really relaxed, my back is no longer stiff and hurting, and the GF and I are having a nice conversation. Then Shotski, now renamed Shitski, sees a Horrible Hairy Hoof Eater under an old rusted propane tank hidden under a sagebush, right beside the dirt road. *cue thudding hooves Shitski bolts like he’s leaving the flats, ducks his left shoulder and bucks with his hind end twisted to the right. I hang on. He bucks with his hind end twisted to the left. I hang on. He bucks straight up and ducks left again. I fall off. *thud Somewhere twixt saddle and sandburrs, I attempted to curl up, and only made it as far as getting my arms around my chest and my knees partially up. I hit on the point of my shoulder, breaking the collar bone. *crack Then drove my right arm into my ribs, *pop, crack, snap, pop and collapsed my lung. *hiss Anybody who’s ever hit the ground knows that wonderful sensation of getting the wind knocked out of yourself, and the feeling of “goldfishing”--trying to get air that’s just not there anymore.
• That breathless feeling just didn’t go away. And it hurt. A lot. An awful lot. GF comes over to ask me if I can get up? Nope. Am I ok? Not really. 911? Yup. So she gathers up two horses and four dogs—why ride alone, when you can go with a circus? Of course, Shitski hasn’t really run away, he came back immediately to nuzzle my hair (probably thinking he could finish me off if I was knocked cold,) GF starts to walk back to the trailer. My Lucy, the Wonder Dog, won’t leave me. She’s attempting shock-prevention with the Canine Medicinal Face Lick. GF comes back to get dog, but I’ve had second thoughts about staying on the cold ground, in a patch of sandburrs. It’s gotten dark, and I’m thinking the ambulance ride out this bumpy jeep road is going to be a b**ch after I get stiffened up. *remember, the Horrible Hairy Hoof Eaters are still hungry I tell GF to grit her teeth ‘cause she’s getting me up, and I’m walking back. After unprintable dialogue, she goes into a hustle to get the horses back, and I follow like Thomas the Tank Engine. *puff puff puff puff Funny, it was a level road when we rode out, but it was uphill walking back. GF manages to get me in the truck and starts helling down the county road at 65mph. “Don’t worry, we’ll be at the hospital in five minutes.” About that time, I look up and shriek, “OH GOD, THE CATTLEGUARD!!!!” Too late to slow down. *ARRRRRRRRRGH!!!! The trouble was that it was funny then, too. *haha OUCH haha OUCH haha OUCH We get to the hospital, do the paperwork thing, and I have to keep fighting off everyone who wants me to lie down, or to pat me on the shoulder telling me, “It’s OK.” Then I explain it’s not OK, because I CAN'T BREATHE, and I’ve been wanting to go into shock for about a half hour, and excuse me, but I’m going to do it RIGHT NOW if I don’t get drugs for pain. *sweet, sweet drugs They finally decide no head injury, she’s just crazy. They dope me up good, x-ray all the parts and put a tube in my right lung. I get a free helicopter ride 50 miles to Boise to the ICU and a private room for a week. *cue florist Now I have an O-tube I get to drag around the house and am mainlining drugs. It still hurts to stand, lie down, sit, breathe, cough, laugh, and talk. My back surgeon is pissed, and Mr. BlueHorse thinks it’s funny that in 25 years of training colts and riding spoiled horses, I’ve never broken anything until now, riding on the “kid” horse. Thanks to everybody for the hugs and sympathy. You make me laugh, and it hurts so good!
• Ouch.
• Monkeyfilter: sweet, sweet drugs Monkeyfilter: it hurts so good! Get well soon.
• Landing's always worse when ye fall slowly enough to think about the landing. the girth was tight when I got on but a malevolent sprite suddenly dragged my saddle down as we rounded a corner lickety-split and I parted - reluctantly - company with it oh, I fell slowly as a flake of snow and reached both arms to break my fall - just so - and now ye have to type for me and open my fly when I need to pee
• Oh dear god, BlueHorse, after that I am so glad you're okay. And the cattlestop part made me laugh too, even if the closest experience I've had is being in labour. In my limited experience, it's far too easy to underestimate old horses.
• That is simultaneously the best and the worst story I've ever read. Well, it's really the best, 'cause it's so well-told. It's only the worst 'cause it's physically painful to read it! I think it trumps my breaking-hip-while-rollerblading-then-getting-broadsided-in-the-ambulance story. Lots of Monkeylove goin' yer way!
• That story of your fall is like the first bit of The Horse Whisperer, which I had to skip because I felt a little woozy reading about such trauma. And here you are, living through it. I'm so sorry, BlueHorse. I hope your drugs lay you down gently on a soft fluffy cloud of No Pain where you can do nothing but think Happy Thoughts. And tell Mr. BlueHorse to stop laughing - at least it was you, and not one of the kids.
• So where does the square dancing come into things?
• yeah Mickey, that first scene in the Horse Whisperer is HARSH!! I am sure my mouth was hanging open in appalled...appalledness, during the whole thing. gruesome!!
• oh, and GramMa? DAMN! you are tough!! and you should publish that story or something, it's epic!
• Really, that story was worth the wait. Stylish prose, too. Healing up is going to be a bitch. It hurts to breathe, but that is not a good reason to stop. Slowly the pain will subside, as the bones knit. Decide, once the collar bone has healed, if you will tell anyone and everyone to "feel this lump," like a friend of mine did. A good friend, but stroking her chest to feel the swollen bone was a little too intimate.
• Agreed. GramMa is a stud. Hoping for hasty healing!
• Monkeyfilter: It hurts to breathe, but that is not a good reason to stop.
• Best stay with those Arabians, BlueHorse. At least you know they can find and/or fabricate a boogeyman at any instant. You must have some nice strong and stinky horse linament you can use: underneath the bronco's tail perhaps.
• I always knew you were one tough cookie GramMa, but your story *is* the action behind the words! Here's to fast and happy healing! How's your pinky Koko??
• I grew resentful of its imperfection, so I snipped it off.
• ::: echo ::: echo ::: echo :::
• We're all in mourning for yr little finger
• Koko lost a finger? Ouch!
• It's ok, it grew back!
• I was all ready to be a donor.
• I can always use a few extra.
• The problem is it looks just like a lizard's tail.
• I don't call that a problem.
• Grew back? Now, that's not very usual, hey, you lizard-monkey, you? *flees*
• You got fleas?
• But more importantly, did you save the original pinky? I'm thinking it might make for a nice snow globe - pinky in formaldehyde...
• Could use the original to grow a new Koko. Voila, spare parts.
• Ah, yes, The Monkey's Paw - condensed version.
• condensed version? Would that be like Cream of Koko or Koko with Rice?
• Koko Crème - it's skin moisturizer, it's floor wax!
• Oh, this is going nowhere good ...
• Will the newly grown Koko have a goatee beard?
• *gives GramMa many hugs through a large pillow* Your story made me laugh and wince at the same time, so now my cheek muscles are all cramped up.
• Fry it up. Koko Crispies.
• Put it in the microwave! I'm crazy for KokoPuffs!
• A cuppa Hot Koko - with them tiny marshmallows.
• *spritzes Koko Chanel #5
• You can always count on japanese product names!
• When in london...
• I have a lovely framed photo of that club :)
• Koko Leakey is the only soup for me!
• /feels guilty for taking focus away from GranMa /notices no one's mentioned my nuts yet
• So, GramMa - how's the healing process? Ready to get back in the saddle yet? Ouch! Ow! *skitters out of cane's reach*
• Pfft! Look at koko's nuts!
• Good song: My Coco (sic) by Stellastarr*
• Actually no, Fish Tick. I'm stayin' outta the saddle for a while. Think I'll just hang out in the rockin' chair. I feel like royal shit. My feet and ankles started swelling--maybe been hammering my liver a bit much with the drugs? Backed down yesterday on the intake and am only taking one Norco every twelve hours, but my ankles are still swollen. I can tell I've been on Norco too long, because without it in my system, I feel not just achey but ickey. This too shall pass. Fortunately, I don't crave the stuff when I'm not in pain, and even if I'm not dancin' around as much as when I'm all drugged up, I can cope with stopping the meds. I will ask for something else after the surgery. I did manage to tear a hole in that yummy turkey that my daughter cooked for the family! She swears she would have cooked dinner anyway if I'd have just asked, but you never can never be sure won't ask you to bring a side dish unless you're totally incapacitated. Koko, get your finger out of those pies or you'll be missing it--again.
• Hobble over and give that stupid horse a candied yam. Get horse breath in your face. Grumble, mutter, and call it a stupid horse, again. Come, sit in the rocking chair. Wrap the quilt around you. Listen to the cold wind blow, as Winter lays claim to the next several months.
• If we were in the same country, I would pass to you what my grandmother passed to me, & what her father passed to her. The Frog. The horseman's talisman.
• Feel better, GramMa! It's not the same knowing you're feeling icky. And the young'uns are causing all kinds of trouble while you're not looking.
• We don't even know where pete is. I think he's gone behind the eaves again. *gets broom*
• yes, Koko but I found his pants, so stand warned!!
• petes is hopefully enjoying Thangsgiving with his terrist.
• Yes, I miss my Petes. Happy Day After Thanksgibblets, everybody! I is thankful for the Monkeys.
• Erm... GramMa, a friend of mine gave me this herbal prescription for cleansing the liver that tastes quite nice, like a mixed tea. The herbs are mostly Chinese though, so it's no use sending you the prescription. I can send you a few doses of the thing, each dose makes about 5 - 8 litres of the tea, you sweeten it with rock sugar or honey to taste. You can have it chilled or warm, as long as you drink at least 4 to 5 cups of it a day for a couple of days. So may I please have an addy I can use to send you stuff?
• GramMa, give 'er the address already! Neddy always sends nice stuff.
• OK OK. I just feel guilty having her spend her hard won scheckles just 'cause I falled off. Will email ya'll in a bit. *my humble Thanks
• *squees* Thanks, Koko! Thank you, GramMa!
• And now the baby alligators are on their way :)
• I'll be looking forward to your Care package, Sweetpea! update: Went in because of breathing difficulties over weekend--looks like there's fluid in bottom of lung, and I was severely chastized for not coughing or doing enough deep breathing. Will evaluate again on Thursday.
• Good grief, BlueHorse! If ye can stand in a hot shower to cough, it may not be so painful to cough. Relaxes sore muscles for me, anyway. And try sleeping propped up if ye haven't already done so. This posture helps prevent fluid build-up.
• One of those gas-powered pull-start moto-massage-recliner things should help too GramMa. I bet there's all sorts of yoga and meditation stuff that would help, with reading actual paper books being the most accessible form. I suggest something a little racy, y'know to get the blood moving and such. Wh00t! Happy Tofurkyday all - the Jack Russell Terrierist and I ate our fair share and snoozed on the carpet as all dumb dogs deserve.
• Ah, Bees, how I wish I could sleep in ANY position except sitting straight up! Can't sleep on either side due to the various broken bits, and can't even slouch down because of the ruptured disk and consequent leg pain. *goes to window, shakes fist at snorty Mustang I've been being good, doing my inhaling exercises *peers around suspiciously for baby alligators I think I'm allergic to them. *cough cough
• Aww damn just reading those coughs makes my own ribs hurt... take care, OK?
• Deeeeeeeeeeeeep breaths, Grandma. In through the nose, out through the mouth. That's it. Breeeeeeathe.
• I'm sorry, the baby alligators care package may take a few weeks to get there. First I gotta go buy the things and then pack them... and for some reason postage service between Singapore and the US is very. very. slow. Takes 10 days max to get to UK from here, but more'n 2 weeks to get to the US...grumblegrumblerassafrasssa....
• Oh, and, after inhaling, keep the air there for the count of 6 or so that your lungs will be able to dissolve the incoming air. And, once you've breathed out, stop for a count of 4 so that the carbon dioxide will go out with the outgoing breath. If you can manage it, use your diaphram and stomach muscles to get the air deep in. Well, if you already knew all that, why didn't you tell me???? ;)
• If you can manage it, use your diaphram and stomach muscles to get the air deep in. The deepest breathing starts at the perineum.
• >The deepest breathing starts at the perineum. Sounds pretty close to breathing through your twat. Maybe I'll try that tonight.
• DAMMIT I'm telling you, IT HURTS TO LAUGH!!!
• A calming breathing exercise using alternate nostrils.
• Works surprisingly well for stress reduction and stuff. Can't hurt trying it. Or, I suppose it might, but it's worth trying anyway. I had it taught to me by a batshit crazy yoga instructor a couple of years back. She was a professional model who gave it all up to teach yoga full-time. So she'd be out in the front of the class doing these lunges and body contortions -- and I'd be in the back, unable to remember my own name. Cripes! Was that 'stress-reduction' ever counter-productive. But she was really, really serious about the spiritual side of yoga, to the point where she chastized me for wearing a watch to class because its electro-magnetic impulses were throwing off my chakras. Umm, yeah. Sure. Rest easy, GranMa!
• The voice teacher who taught me how to breathe also taught me how to walk in high heels, speak clearly on the telephone, reduce my anxiety attacks, and sit down and stand up without using my hands or eyes. AND he called me "Grasshopper."
• That's awesome. "He wanted her to sing . . . from her diaphragm . . ! It'd take years to learn that, wouldn't it??" /Steve_Martin
• I drank beer from mine once.
• How you feeling these days, GramMa?
• Hey, Koko et al! Feeling really crappy the last couple weeks. Had to beg for some muscle relaxer to stop the cramping since the Norco isn't working all that well controlling the pain. Haven't been able to work on Christmas stuff and other projects as much as I wanted to, but am slowly getting things done and should be ready by next month ;) FINALLY!! Got a date for surgery--26 Dec, sort of a late Christmas present for me. Really looking forward to having this done. Terrible when you're ready to knock somebody down and throw yourself on the table under a knife, but I'm sooo there. Will keep you posted.
• GramMa, good luck on the surgery. Lots of holiday cookies will help, I think!
• Good luck GramMa!
• Hope all goes well, GramMa.
• Ditto Blue - its hope its quick and you recover smoothly and that they give you cake.
• Eggnog IV's all 'round!
• I saw Eggnog III, the Return of Sam Monella. It kinda sucked.
• I heard it blew chunks.
• By the way, what are you getting the horse for Christmas?
• Good Luck! Here's hoping for a pain-free (or much more comfortable) New Year!
• good luck on the surg BH, I hope they make you a nice eggnog n morphine shake for xmas :D
• Take care of yourself, GramMa!
• Good luck, GramMa! Hope yer back in the saddle soon.
• /keeps fingers crossed for lovely GramMa-- a successful operation; a swift and smooth recovery! Thinking of you.
• Our favourite GramMa is on the table today. Sending good vibes across the ether.
• GramMa and Ahnold on the same day. Come to think of it, I've never seen them both in the same place...
• /sends happy wishes the way of GramMa
• GramMa - you're posting on other threads...please! Post here, let us know how it went!
• Sorry Ralph about that post confusion--It appears to have went well. Got the date moved up to 26 December--yesterday--left MH at 4:55 am to arrive in Boise at 6:00am, as intructed, then found out surgery was rescheduled to 2:30pm. Got a bed in Pre-OP and took a nap, read a book lounged around and pestered nurses. Sent Mr. BlueHorse home and told him not to come back as he does NOT do the hospital thing well and doesn't wait well, either. It's less stressful for us both if he's not around. Doc says the surgery was short, sweet, but fairly gruesome--he took what he discribed as "huge chunks" of disk out from around the nerve, and wound up sawing off bone spurs on both sides from old arthritic deposits. Apparently there is some nerve damage--we'll see how it goes--should know in two weeks how much strength I'll regain for that extreme mountain climbing. At any rate, he sent me home today, 27 Dec, as he said everything has gone better than expected, now it's a matter of rest and beginning my walking exercises. Can't sit at a ninety degree angle for two weeks, except to eat and do the bathroom thing, which will cut out lots of emailing and posting. I am CERTAINLY in a lot less pain, even after the surgery, and because I'm not carrying my posture so twisted, my collar bone and ribs aren't bothering me at all. Things are looking bright again, and many many thanks for the good thoughts you wonderful Monkeys sent my way!
• GramMa, so glad to hear your surgery went well and you got out of the horsepital so quickly. now stop computing and go rest!
• Such a relief to hear it went well! Speedy recovery!
• Yeigh!
• Great news, BlueHorse! Glad to hear that you're on the mend.
• BlueHorse: Are you going to be able to get some sort of physical therapy that doesn't involve a 2-hour round trip? I do hope so. But having the pain ease has to be a huge relief. I'm praying (though I don't know to whom) that you'll be back in the saddle soon.
• A friend of mine was recently in an automobile accident whereby her ribs were broken. She said that coughing was a bear (but she smokes, which makes not coughing harder). Hope you feel better and get well soon. Make sure you check in often. And, uh...I'd hate to see what the other guy looked like. Yeah.
• BlueHorse, hope your recovery's swift and satisfying.
• Awww GramMa, I failed to check in on this thread again. I hope you are recovering well. Sending you some New Year getting better vibes! Don't worry about the keychain... Wish I had known sooner
• Where is our GramMA?!! I want my GRAMMA!! /stomps foot
• *whinnies, snorts*
• Yeah, yeah. Good plan, pete! You make horse noises and I'll um, leave some hay outside the door. That'll attract her, sure as anything!
• Hello my special Monkeys. Don't think your GramMa's being uppity by not checking in lately, actually I've been really pretty downnity since I last checked in. About six hours after I last posted is when the IV anesthesia and the anti-inflammatory steriods wore off, and then things went entirely to hell. Apparently there was extreme swelling and muscle cramping due to mauling the nerve around--on top of it being insulted to begin with, just a little something Doc was worried might happen. Definately was not prepared for any of it, since the recovery from my previous surgery was such a breeze. When I called the office the next day, crying, shaking, frightened, and dry heaving from pain, Doc was sympathetic, but couldn't do much except tell me to double up on the pain killers. His best suggestion was, even though he would NEVER recommend to a patient that they disregard and abuse the RX instructions, what he would do would be to take enough pain killer and muscle relaxant to knock himself out for 48 hours. I'm here to tell you broken ribs is a piece of cake--climbing out of this has been pure and dirty slow misery. Although I still can't negotiate stairs or get up without difficulty, I'm not in pain (mostly) and I can eat again without heaving, get around once I'm up, and can feel my legs and toes. I'm still pretty loopy on drugs, as you can most likely tell by my writing. But progress, indeed. When Doc called yesterday to ask Mr. BlueHorse if I was over-doing it, he was able to tell Doc that I was finally able to be doing, and that the leg irons will soon be necessary. Hopefully by next week. I'll be soon back to chomping soemthing other than hands-full of drugs. *chomps a tasty bit of forage Mmmmm, thank you Lara for the hay. Missed you guys, Yer Granny
• BlueHorse, BlueHorse, get you well soon!
• Ouch, indeed. I echo roryk. I think we all wish we could do something immediate to make you get well faster. And, is it ok to say "NEXT TIME STICK WITH THE ARABS!"?
• MonkeyFilter: something other than hands-full of drugs (Nudge, nudge. Wink, wink...)
• MonkeyFilter: pure and dirty slow misery Heal well, BlueHorse!
• I send you lots of get-well vibes! *wiggles fingers in a mystical manner*
• *hugs GramMa very gently*
• *adds self to GranMa/mothy hug without any kind of hidden agenda whatsoever*
• *adds some extra oats to GramMa's feed bag*
• See, I told you the hay would bring her! Sorry it's been such hell, BlueHorse, and here's hoping for speedy getting-well.
• I drawed a piktrue of a panekillet. Louie's biting people. Bees wrote poetrems. Getwel soon l0ve, peetbst *picture of sun shining over barn, horse, painkiller*
• Rib-a-dib-dib and a cold Mr. Pibb!
• I'd send you some of my leftover painkillers, but I already licked the bottles clean.
• AHHHH, YOUZE GUYS! *hands out nouggies
• How're you doing, GramMa? Feeling well again?
• I'm pretty perky, Moth. Thinking about climbing back up on the horse dat trew me just as soon as the weather cooperates.
• Hurray for a perky GramMa! (and a suitably shamefaced horse.)
• For BlueHorse. (I'm not usually into dressage, but this is incredible.)
• WOW! Path, that was fantastic!! Gave me goosebumps the first six strides in. Incredible horse, incredible rider. The appearance of a complete explosion kept in hand, but then that lovely relaxed walk with no fireworks halfway through. Makes me want to weep that I'll never know that kind of connectedness, but makes me want to go out and TRY! Thank you, will be forwarding this on to all other horse junkies I know.
• But did you see her name was Blue Hors Matinee?
• Yes, the performance was riviting, and the part that got me the most was they way she kept time to the music with her tail in jazzier spots. She seemed to love that. In the rest of it, her precision was spectacular. We often think of performing animals as just taking orders, but this horse isn't in that category. The rider certainly was directing her through steps she had learned, but she seemed to be more than an equal participant. TheSpanish Royal Equestrian School in Jerez, does beautiful stuff, but the horses don't show their personality as she did. BlueHorse, I'm so glad you liked it.