October 30, 2006

The House That Must Be Mine

A lovely lovely thatched cottage in Devon, full of murals by Alan Lee, Charles Vess, Brian Froud, etc. There are goblins on the kitchen walls! Future Monkey Commune site, anyone?

  • I'll come visit you, Pallas, but I'm afraid I could never live under a thatched roof, after my Old English prof told us of the joys of falling asleep listening to the creepy-crawlies in the thatch above you, and waking up to find yourself covered in creepy-crawly carcasses and droppings. Which is gross. But not as gross as the fact that the Irish used horse-hair as an insulator under wallpaper, allowing one to see the creepy-crawlies make the wallpaper bubble and bulge ever-so-slightly. But I'll come for tea. No doubt about that.
  • I will joyfully sleep on your floor, creepy crawlies be damned. I grew up in a very rustic house, with a leaky roof and a ceiling of exposed insulation. I'll protect you from the creepies, Capt.
  • Okay.
  • Canopied beds are not just for show. Use the net to collect the bits and droppings.
  • I wonder whether there will be goblins crawling around in the thatch? /brews tea for Capt. R
  • I'll drop by for tea with a drop of whiskey to keep away the dew. And we'll trade tales of creatures that live, uninvited, in our homes. Here we have mice, red squirrels, the odd raccoon, bats, and many birds. Ah, nature.
  • Ah, those sneaky real-state phtographers... I bet that bathroom, while really nice, is *tiny*; look at the wide-angle lense distortion!
  • That is my dream house! Can I come live with you? I'll sweep the floor every day! I like bugs!
  • Let us know when we can stop by Athena.
  • I have a odd and loathsome creature crawling about my home. It smells funny, infests my sofa, devours my beer, and ate the headcheese I was saving to make a Hitler bust with. Oh grandma*! I'd love to live in a home infested with goblins. This is what I pray to Jesus for. *Not to be confused with GrandMa™
  • GramMa™, even.
  • As the former resident of a thatched 'alms' cottage, roughly here (google maps uk sucks for resolution), I say go for it! Center beam in living room 5'10", self: 5'7", roommate: 6'4", number of pints required before 'ahem' someone drew blood, 4 (he was 6'4" but only weighed about 140).
  • I'll Huff and I'll Puff....
  • *hears huffing and puffing inside cottage* *abstains from knocking on door, leaves*
  • Damn, that wolf knows how to blow.
  • Can we have sheep? I vote yes if we can have sheep. 'Svery nice. The house, that is. You all with your critters-in-the-house story can't top my possum-through-the-kitty-door saga.
  • Must every thread end up in rampant [insert animal]buggery?
  • Yes, they're sick, aren't they?
  • "Monkeys Go Cottaging", a film by kitfisto.
  • Older and more central parts of my house have 18-inch thick walls that were originally filled with sawdust, most of which has packed down into the lower parts of the walls. Makes a lovely warm place for all kinds of critters: one morning while shaving I felt something skitter over my bare toes and discovered a very young snake that somehow managed to navigate a gap between the aluminum O around the undersink drainpipe and the wall itself. I like snakes, but when one appears suddenly I nonetheless have that gasp-and-jerk reaction - enough I cut my throat. Another day we were sitting in the old parlour when a long stream of bats exitted one of the dormers two floors up. Owls and squirrels come down the older chimneys at (mercifully) infrequent intervals. We even had a young red fox get into the cellar once through a pane in a window that lost its putty.
  • All those critters, AND bees : ) Bats? Bats?! Whoa. Besides the odd spider or potato bug, the only invading critters around Casa de Flagpole are these guys. They love the sun.
  • you'll also get jennifer saunders and adrian edmonson for neighbours...
  • Oh cool, quarsan! I don't think they're that funny but I'll make them cups of tea. As soon as the monkeys are done, that is. Weezel, BearGuy, Koko: one lump or two? RalphTheDog: one dram or two? Koko, no need to sweep when we seem to have a Canadian wolf huffing and puffing-- blows all the dust and bugs nicely into the corners. We're safe as long as he doesn't come back with the POUTINE LARD MOUNTAIN. bees, I hope you did not cut your throat too severely? Because "cut own throat when a snake ran over his toes while shaving" would make a seriously silly hospital report.
  • Bees leads a Gerald Durrell sort of life, don't you think?
  • Poutine Lard Mountain. Quantity: 1 click Add to Basket. mailing address: 3 Thatched House, Cuteyhampton, U.K.
  • Prettiful! It also suggests to me that a master weaver of a few hundred years ago might have been reasonably well-off. It's not a palace, but it's a comfortable little house, isn't it? (The only thing I don't care for is the bathroom. Hey, have we heard from cynnbad about the Indian Bathrooms yet?)
  • ...and yes, Lara, we can have sheep. They'll have to live in the garden, though, so maybe a maximum of two or three. Verbminx, maybe we can get the goblins to redo the bathroom?
  • Maybe the goblin bathroom renovation is why the women and children refused to use it. *glum* but yes, this should be seekrit monkey clubhouse, UK branch.
  • Pallas: Goats on the roof?