April 21, 2006

E-Closure allows people to post their breakup conversations anonymously online, for 'closure', rather than, say, 'revenge'.

Personally, I think the best way to handle a breakup is with quiet dignity and perhaps a ceremonial burning, but that won't stop me from sorting through all this dirty laundry. And often enough, there's a bit of a disconnect between the story and the exchange -- that the emails don't quite reflect what the submitter claims is really going on. Enjoy.

  • I found that a bit depressing. Thanks for that. It's Friday afternoon, I'm leaving work early, planning on a few beers, and what do you do? Show me sad people arguing over the cat! It's over Capt! You've done this to me once too often. I'm closing my backstage to you RIGHT NOW!
  • You're so cute when you're angry. Kissy kissy?
  • Oh alright then. But you've got to buy me beer as well. And not the cheap stuff. I want Stella.
  • God, this is depressing. I wonder if I have any old Zoloft tablets at the bottom of my old purse. On the bright side, if everyone were to read these letters, I bet we'd hit Zero Population Growth in about five years. Anyone who hadn't jumped off a bridge would certainly not be contemplating sexual reproduction anytime soon.
  • The best way to break up is the one Daisy_May found.
  • Daisy MAY! Not Daisy MAE! No wonder I couldn't find it...
  • I can't think what is best to do since I broke up with you but washing our dirty laundry in public is sure to make you blue see, now I'm delighted and don't feel half so slighted since I've found this anonymous way of sinking my blade into you today
  • This link is to our Daisy May as ___________ is to marshmallows.
  • A marshmallow's friend who masterbates on camera?
  • A campfire?
  • A vampyre?
  • A microwave?
  • The international marshmallow museum?
  • The Wienermobile?
  • a pterodactyl named Jiminy with a french cut tuxedo made of flounder skin and goose webs?
  • Arrrghh... sampled a few ones and got all happy, "hey, look, the same crap that happened to me has happened to all..!" Of course, that's even more depressing. More drinking-until-passing-out tonight, I guess. Cheers, all.
  • Someone has low spirits... or will tomorrow morning.