April 12, 2006

Inside Guff on White House staff from a low level insider, posted at Something Awful, & gaining some attention at Kos. Brilliant satire or truth? No idea, but it's fun anyway. "Donald Rumsfeld needs to wear iced underwear ... He was recently getting uncontrollable long-term erections ... The underwear and the erections is why he uses a standing desk, not because he is some super-man. He also wears nylon stockings ... to control some vascular problem with his legs which causes him intense pain. President Bush uses anti-depressant medication, a lot of it, at a stupendous dosage, and he is hiding it from the American public. This is the real reason he stopped drinking. Because of the dosage, he is also impotent." Seen @ Screenhead.

I would read the Kos article comments for some more balanced critical analysis (pretty funny to claim that DailyKos is balanced, but everything is relative these days). Nevertheless, a good chuckle-worthy read for slack time @ w-rk. Because when things are this bad, you can only laugh, right?

  • I can at least confirm that the sealed room @ the White House which once had half-ton block of cheese is true. Google Jefferson's Cheese.
  • I hope that cheese wasn't as stinky as the cheese coming out of the Big House daily.
  • Total b.s. There’s no way Rumsfeld gets erections.
  • wtf is iced underwear? is it kept in a cooler? most of the google results relate to this inside guff
  • I would assume it's medical undies with pockets for those gel packs you stick in the freezer.
  • and he still gets stiffies? the man has gone up in my estimation.
  • Is it wrong of me to hope all this is true? I guess we know why Laura has the crazy-eyes, now.
  • Wait a sec...Bush is impotent, Rummy has uncontrolled erections...here's a problem that solves itself!
  • TP, you just ruined my day.
  • If you read more of the guy's stuff in that SA thread, what he says about the bigger picture sounds very coherent.
  • i want to believe.
  • [snip] Also, I don't see you post in D&D much; do you think you could change that? I hate posting in D&D. I posted there one time this past year, something completely innocuous, and was put on probation for some incredibly lame reason. It's too crazy and hyper-sensitive in there for me, and from what I've seen, almost everyone there has no idea what they are talking about. Sorry to disappoint. [/snip] this seems a little bit particular and identifiable for someone who is paranoid about not being discovered...
  • How does that identify him?
  • unless he means probation on the D&D board, not probation at work....
  • No he was talking about a forum.
  • Isn't there a SA ban in MoFi? Don't those people do inexcusable things in New Zealand?
  • I love Internet gossip. I don't believe a word of it, but the idea of it all is fun.
  • No SA ban I'm aware of...
  • This has absolutely zero credibility and I will laugh at anyone who buys it without confirmation from a second source. The reason I don't believe it is they said that Condie was fairly normal, when I know for a fact that she is a robotic killing machine from the future.
  • How is this "Brilliant satire"? Or maybe it takes one to know one.
  • Well, everyone else enjoyed it, so I guess it just must be you.
  • I could believe all of this. It makes me want to meet Tom Ridge and shake my hair at him.
  • Now this... this is brilliant satire.
  • Bush can't satirise himself. I mean, he shouldn't. Really. Perhaps that's where I've been going wrong for the past six years...
  • You know, it'd be almost comforting to know that the last 6 years have just been an elaborately constructed practical joke, and that 2 years from now Bush will just say, "I'm kidding, I'm kidding, none of this really happened, everything's okay. Boy, you should see the look on your faces!"