March 31, 2006

Curious George: goofiest sex terms you've heard? Whether you're interests lay in jilling off, scissor fighting, or in a 5 digit disco, some of those sex terms might come in handy if someone asks if you want to be a GSQ.
posted by Smedleyman 18 years ago
  • From GoofyFoot Press comes this fine definition: SEX stands for "sign extend," an assembly language mnemonic used in the incredible and venerable DEC pdp-11s.
  • I generally find euphemisms for sex to be stupid and coy. Why "beat around the bush" after all, when one can just *"come" out* and say what they mean? I'm not afraid to "put it out there" on the table, to say what I mean...now, if you'll excuse me I have to go help my husband "beat his eggs" and "tenderize the sausage" for dinner.
  • I've always found the term "jilling off" waaaaay to cutesy. Myself, I prefer the terms "getting the keys stuck on the typewriter of lust", "playing the Prussian tambourine", or "calling up the devil from a payphone in Cincinnati". But that's just me.
  • It didn't have Hot Carl.
  • Oops, the other site did. Not the goofy one. Well, there ya go.
  • Pfft. n00bz. ;)
  • "Salting the slug." "Bat hunting."
  • Deep 'C' Driving.
  • "getting your glasses fixed"
  • Besting the Pete
  • Hmmmm, now where did I put that?? *gums dentures, puts on glasses, starts rummaging around in her old lady bag I'm looking for that whachacallIT *pulls out disgusting thread object Here it is!
  • Smedley, have you been hanging around with Nick?? I warned him about skating to close to that Double. Post. issue. You both better watch it! IIIIIIIII'm watching you. Always watching.
  • ;)
  • Touching myself with the intent of orgasm. Wait, I think I did this wrong...
  • Finger Dance!
  • God damn it Fes now I have the image of that Irish dancer putz in my head and I'm never gonna be able to make it work.
  • That is to say: Injecting the bird.
  • Beating the Horse.
  • Fluffing the fuzzy parts.
  • Serving the Ketchup.
  • Monkeying with the Filter.
  • Self-starting.
  • Dude... the "whatchacallIT thread". Man. Smedleyman, if you want to know the monkeys, start there. It's... well, just read for a bit.
  • > goofiest sex terms you've heard? $15.99 dollars for a handjob
  • I can beat that.
  • I'll bet you're "beating it" right now.
  • Put mine on layaway.
  • laid-away?
  • Slap-boxing the one-eyed chimp.
  • Selling your wife's box on eBay Double entendre NSFW text
  • Vulcanize the whoopee stick In the ham wallet Cattle prod the oyster ditch With the lap rocket Batter dip the cranny axe In the gut locker Retrofit the pudding hatch With the boink swatter Marinate the nether rod In the squish mitten Power drill the yippee bog With the dude piston Pressure wash the quiver bone In the bitch wrinkle Cannonball the fiddle cove With the pork steeple FOXTROT UNIFORM CHARLIE KILO... (courtesy of The Bloodhound Gang)
  • Driving the flesh bus to tuna town has always been a favorite activity around these parts.
  • Oh, so sad, yet so fun. My two favorites (um, in theory, not practice, lest the SO rip my balls off and force me to wear them as noseplugs*).. The Tony Danza Dog in the Bathtub. *Bonus points for the most creative descriptor for said action.
  • Discussing the Ugandan situation.
  • the infamous cleveland steamer. my apologies.
  • oh... wait. never mind.