November 27, 2004

• The hunt is on!
• Native predators and omnivores must be encouraged to eat these duck-eating frogs! Sound the tocsin! This is war!
• Sign me up! Hopefully you get to keep the electroshock device when you're done
• Not only did those Bullfrogs eat my budgie, they ate my cheesecake, they ate my afghan biscuits, & they ate my marbled ham. Fuck! What could I do? Every time I went to the pantry, there were little soiled web-footprints in the margerine. So much for eating flies! Obviously giving them that left-over tuna salad last christmas was the turning point. I'll never do that again - ha! I won't have to! Now that they knew how to open the fridge door, I'm in shtuck, mate. And then, it happened. I came home from work a little peckish, just wanting something light & sweet, you know, a little bit of ice cream. So I open the chiller, & there they all were, hanging, with their long tongues stuck to the inside of the freezer walls.
• I didn't know frogs could be so wrong. I once made a bullfrog in a pond at Jericho Beach shriek like a little girl. From being a weird little kid, I know that many animals can't really see you if you move very, very s l o w l y. I saw this sizable bullfrog making an excellent bullfrog noise near shore and decided to sneak up on him and phone a friend from my cell so he could hear this bellowing frog. So I matrixed up on him - he actually swam closer to me as I did it - and was dialing the phone when he suddenly saw me twitch or something and realized A PEOPLE WAS RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIM!!! Dude. He went WHEEEEEEERRRRTTTSSSST! and did some harsh ninja leap of about 8 feet back into open water. I awoke to a severed duckling head on my pillow the next morning. Mess not with the frog.
• Him Name: Bullbastard Green Frog.
• Yeah, they squeal. Sometimes I hear cats teasing frogs over here in the part of summer when the little blighters are out, in the evening. It's like a squeak or bleat. And we have the cane toads, which were introduced to deal with some kind of beetle or something. Bad move. They're everywhere now.
• Mad cackles in a genetics lab, where Mertly the Maybe-Mad Scientist fiddles and twiddles with bits of a bullfrog and a scrap of DNA from a Tyrannosaurus. "Aha! Today I make a beast to cure BC's fearful frog-spawned problem!" he said, waving a testube in triumph.
• P.S. I will find my Tyrannofrog.
• They're everywhere now. Well, not exactly, but bloody hell they're on the march.
• Oh, Wol, you always harsh my vibe. Remember the Australian way, mate. The Yarn. Exaggerate. Always exaggerate. After all, that's how we saved the Yanks in the WW2.
• Remember not too long ago on a visit to Ontario, touring a live amphibian and reptile display put on by the Ministry of Resources. The curator/zoologists made it quite clear that of all the animals on display, the most dangerous was the big native bull frog. They'd rather feed the rattle snake than put their hands near the bullfrog. Emphasized that it would eat anything it could attempt to get in it's mouth, and a lack of serious teeth was made up for more than adequately by strength of jaw. For someone who spent many enjoyable youthful summers catching harmless little frogs, it was something of a shock to be confronted with a froggy associate that could threaten me even in adulthood.
• I've got cornmeal and some hot grease. Let's go hunt us those tasty bastards. P.S.: I'll find my dinner frog.
• Ontario? Scared of Bullfrogs? This doesn't surprise me. Aren't you lot descended from the French? :p
• they're little o'reilleys
• Mais non, Monsieur Nostrildamus! Here in Ontario we are good stout Upper Canadians, loyal to the Queen and all that. It's those Quebeckers to the right of us that eat cheese. ;) I'm from Quebec originally, so I get to say this.
• Some of us are more right than others. /small voice from the Far East