September 30, 2004
I welcome our new bear overlords:
First they came for my beer and i did not complain...
Now they come for my chocolate and by Toutatis, i'm mad!
At least it didn't chew on his skull.
Perhaps they will be interested in this.
What can I say? We like what we like.
I always keep beer and chocolate at home. Back when I rampaged into neighbors domeciles, they tended to get irate.
Though now that squidranch has revealed chocolate beer in supermarkets, I'm guessing a few Safeways won't be so safe from bears soon...
All bears
are creatures of the wild.
Bears know
what bears like,
and they go
after it, my child.
Bears have brains,
which means they're very dangerous
when riled.
Don't carry candy in your fist,
or food in your purse --
or in your car;
the bear may insist
on taking it --
and may do
worse
than leave you
with a scar or two.
A wild bear is not a teddy bear.
and if you glimpse a grizzly one,
it's better to climb a tree or run
when you haven't got a gun.
Don't listen to beeswacky, he's crazy. Trying to run from a bear can get you very badly mauled. Stay still, be diminutive, play dead, wait for the bear to leave.
beeswacky, why are you trying to kill us all!?
nope, mexican, that theory is being disproven (warning, kind of creepy picture, details of bear gnawing on skull)
oh and welcome back! seems like you've been away awhile, mexican
and, might i just add, FOUR POUNDS OF CHOCOLATE???? yummmm.
Bears can eat enormous quantities of chocolate...and make oblique Monty Python references at the same time!
Some folks say there ain't no bears in Arkansas
Some folks never seen a bear at all
Some folks say that bears go around eating babies raw
Some folks got a bear across the hall
Some folks say that bears go around smelling bad
Others say that a bear is honey sweet
Some folks say "this bear's the best I ever had"
Some folks got a bear beneath their feet
Some folks drive the bears out of the wilderness
Some to see a bear would pay a fee
Me, I just bear up to my bewildered best
And some folks even see the bear in me
So meet a bear and take him out to lunch with you
Even though your friends may stop and stare
Just remember that's a bear there in the bunch with you
And they just don't come no better than a bear
(Steven Fromholz)
Today, we replenish our beer and chocolate supplies.
Tomorrow, we fight back.
We will be waiting, MCT.
And so will our appetites.
(With apologies to Winston Churchill)
I have utmost respect for wildlife right up until the point where it starts invading my house, eating my food, or me.
I have utmost respect for wildlife right up until the point where it starts invading my house, eating my food, or me.
I entirely understand. But look at these paws! Do you think we can operate human chocolate-making machinery?
Hand over the chocolate, and no one gets hurt.
I have utmost respect for wildlife right up until the point it takes my f*cking chocolate!
Damn, smallish bear, I need backup!
don't think we have no means of revenge!!!
bwah ha ha ha hah!!!!!
Human fiends!
We have bears in my area, and they often come down into the cities and towns where unfortunate encounters can occur -- and I mean unfortunate for the bears, who may be killed. Black bears are often hit by vehicles because people insist on driving fast and because there are no safe ways for animals to cross the roadways.
We could, as a society, do something about this, but we don't. Why don't we?
Over the years, I have witnessed ignorant and/or uncaring people invade and destroy the natural habitat of many creatures; people want trees cut, and build themselves homes with lawns and street lights, and loud noises to disturb the local fauna, further disrupting life-cycles of birds and local creatures.
People move in; where are wild animals supposed to go? The fact is. we humans are the invaders of what was originally their space -- and unlike the Native Americans, the native creatures have no one to speak against the invasions of what was once theirs, their property, their homes and feeding and breeding sites. And in consequence we are losing them. We are losing a tremndous and irrplacable heritage by our failure to act, both as individuals, and as a society.
Where are wild animals supposed to go? Where are they supposed to live?
We allow people to protect their property, but not animals? This is great injustice. This whole situation is something we ought to re-think, before we end up exterminating every wild creature bigger than a peanut on this continent.
Have had black bears wandering about and across my property for thirty odd years now; they bother no one -- but no one bothers them here, either, since their presence isn't reported.</small>
implacable = irreplaceable
/me plays dead, hopes for beer & chcolate.
Wasn't that an Elvis Costello album?
Wasn't that an Elvis Costello album?
We're coming for those next.
I never argue with bears.
Not for anyone.
If one comes in I run upstairs
and grab a gun.
If I can't find the ammunition,
doncha know,
I place a call to my physician
before my hasty exit through a window.
/bears and socks: the stuff of which jingles are made
Beeswacky: John McPhee wrote some interesting things about black bears living in urban areas of the East coast. Good reading. Be hung if I can remember the title of it--he's pretty prolific.
Anyone?
I'm more of a Norwegian bear with reddish-brown fur.
If you can find a copy of it, Waab: The Story of a Grizzly by Ernest Thompson Seton is an interesting read for bearishly-inclined folk.
how to bear
to shamble, swaying
through the trees
into the stream
one dip
with a swift paw
and flapping salmon
eaten raw
then snuff
the spicy breeze
and ponder
whether to harvest
the ripe huckleberries
or pull the dripping comb
from the hollow tree
Global warming may kill off polar bears in 20 years, says WWF
I still haven't figured out how the World Wrestling Federation could possibly know that.
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