MonkeyFilter | Curious George: goofiest sex terms you've heard?

March 31, 2006

Curious George: goofiest sex terms you've heard? Whether you're interests lay in jilling off, scissor fighting, or in a 5 digit disco, some of those sex terms might come in handy if someone asks if you want to be a GSQ.

From GoofyFoot Press comes this fine definition:
SEX
stands for "sign extend," an assembly language mnemonic used in the incredible and venerable DEC pdp-11s.

posted by ooga_booga at 01:10AM UTC on March 31, 2006

I generally find euphemisms for sex to be stupid and coy. Why "beat around the bush" after all, when one can just *"come" out* and say what they mean? I'm not afraid to "put it out there" on the table, to say what I mean...now, if you'll excuse me I have to go help my husband "beat his eggs" and "tenderize the sausage" for dinner.

posted by Medusa at 01:20AM UTC on March 31, 2006

I've always found the term "jilling off" waaaaay to cutesy. Myself, I prefer the terms "getting the keys stuck on the typewriter of lust", "playing the Prussian tambourine", or "calling up the devil from a payphone in Cincinnati".

But that's just me.

posted by moneyjane at 01:36AM UTC on March 31, 2006

It didn't have Hot Carl.

posted by un- at 01:38AM UTC on March 31, 2006

Oops, the other site did. Not the goofy one. Well, there ya go.

posted by un- at 01:41AM UTC on March 31, 2006

Pfft. n00bz.
;)

posted by petebest at 01:49AM UTC on March 31, 2006

"Salting the slug."

"Bat hunting."

posted by cog_nate at 02:56AM UTC on March 31, 2006

Deep 'C' Driving.

posted by layne, lady layne at 03:18AM UTC on March 31, 2006

"getting your glasses fixed"

posted by patita at 03:19AM UTC on March 31, 2006

Besting the Pete

posted by RalphTheDog at 03:21AM UTC on March 31, 2006

Hmmmm, now where did I put that??

*gums dentures, puts on glasses, starts rummaging around in her old lady bag

I'm looking for that whachacallIT

*pulls out disgusting thread object

Here it is!

posted by BlueHorse at 04:20AM UTC on March 31, 2006

Smedley, have you been hanging around with Nick??

I warned him about skating to close to that Double. Post. issue.

You both better watch it!

IIIIIIIII'm watching you.
Always watching.

posted by BlueHorse at 04:22AM UTC on March 31, 2006

;)

posted by BlueHorse at 04:23AM UTC on March 31, 2006

Touching myself with the intent of orgasm.

Wait, I think I did this wrong...

posted by loto at 04:56AM UTC on March 31, 2006

Finger Dance!

posted by Fes at 05:17AM UTC on March 31, 2006

God damn it Fes now I have the image of that Irish dancer putz in my head and I'm never gonna be able to make it work.

posted by HawthorneWingo at 06:07AM UTC on March 31, 2006

That is to say: Injecting the bird.

posted by HawthorneWingo at 06:09AM UTC on March 31, 2006

Beating the Horse.

posted by Alex Ander at 06:22AM UTC on March 31, 2006

Fluffing the fuzzy parts.

posted by nonbinary at 07:31AM UTC on March 31, 2006

Serving the Ketchup.

posted by Flagpole at 07:49AM UTC on March 31, 2006

Monkeying with the Filter.

posted by islander at 08:16AM UTC on March 31, 2006

Self-starting.

posted by Plegmund at 11:15AM UTC on March 31, 2006

Dude... the "whatchacallIT thread". Man. Smedleyman, if you want to know the monkeys, start there. It's... well, just read for a bit.

posted by caution live frogs at 02:07PM UTC on March 31, 2006

> goofiest sex terms you've heard?

$15.99 dollars for a handjob

posted by roryk at 03:54PM UTC on March 31, 2006

I can beat that.

posted by the quidnunc kid at 03:58PM UTC on March 31, 2006

I'll bet you're "beating it" right now.

posted by HawthorneWingo at 05:31PM UTC on March 31, 2006

Put mine on layaway.

posted by RalphTheDog at 06:36PM UTC on March 31, 2006

laid-away?

posted by Medusa at 07:13PM UTC on March 31, 2006

Slap-boxing the one-eyed chimp.

posted by kafziel at 07:59PM UTC on March 31, 2006

Selling your wife's box on eBay Double entendre NSFW text

posted by Flagpole at 09:07PM UTC on March 31, 2006

Vulcanize the whoopee stick
In the ham wallet

Cattle prod the oyster ditch
With the lap rocket

Batter dip the cranny axe
In the gut locker

Retrofit the pudding hatch
With the boink swatter

Marinate the nether rod
In the squish mitten

Power drill the yippee bog
With the dude piston

Pressure wash the quiver bone
In the bitch wrinkle

Cannonball the fiddle cove
With the pork steeple

FOXTROT UNIFORM CHARLIE KILO...

(courtesy of The Bloodhound Gang)

posted by Debaser626 at 04:10AM UTC on April 01, 2006

Driving the flesh bus to tuna town has always been a favorite activity around these parts.

posted by kamus at 05:46AM UTC on April 01, 2006

Oh, so sad, yet so fun. My two favorites (um, in theory, not practice, lest the SO rip my balls off and force me to wear them as noseplugs*)..

The Tony Danza

Dog in the Bathtub.

*Bonus points for the most creative descriptor for said action.

posted by ufez at 08:12AM UTC on April 01, 2006

Discussing the Ugandan situation.

posted by vitalorgnz at 01:32AM UTC on April 02, 2006

the infamous cleveland steamer. my apologies.

posted by es el Queso at 04:20AM UTC on April 02, 2006

oh... wait. never mind.

posted by es el Queso at 04:21AM UTC on April 02, 2006

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